That is not dirty and is not offensive to any cultures or religions.
2006-08-06 15:49:52 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
This is funny...
Need Samples
An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample."
The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT?"
"What did he say? What's he want?"
His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear."
2006-08-06 15:55:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's not dirty or offensive to any cultures or religions, then it's not a funny joke.
2006-08-07 03:04:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One day at the end of class little Gunner's teacher had the class go home and think of a story and then conclude with the moral of that story.
The following day the teacher asked for the first volunteer to tell a story; little Suzy raised her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road." The teacher asked for the moral of the story. Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Next was little Lucy. "Well my dad owns a farm, too, and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched." The teacher asked for the moral of the story. Lucy replied, "Don't count your chickens before they're hatched."
Last was little Gunner. "My uncle Steve was a Marine in Vietnam; the helicopter he was in was shot down over enemy territory. As the only survivor, all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete. First he drank the whiskey so the VC couldn't enjoy it. Unfortunately, he was quickly surrounded by a 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands." Teacher looked in shock at Gunner and asked if there was any possible moral to his story. "Yes sir", Gunner replied, "Don't **** with Uncle Steve when he's been drinking."
2006-08-06 23:05:22 · answer #3 · answered by lovers fool 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are on a horse galloping at a constant speed.On your right is a sharp drop off and on your left is an elelphant travelling at the same speed as you.Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it! Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the kangaroo! How do you get out of this highly dangerous situation???
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Get your drunk a** off the merry-go-round!!!
A little rabbit is running happily through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint.
The rabbit looks at the giraffe and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come. Run with me through the forest! You''ll feel so much better!"
The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit.
Then they come across an elephant doing coke.
So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come. Run with us through the pretty forest, you''ll see, you''ll feel so good!"
The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and coke, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.
The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up.
"Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come. Run with us through the beautiful forest and you''ll feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and mauls the rabbit.
The giraffe and elephant watch in horror and look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help you."
The lion answers, "That little b*stard! He makes me run around the forest like a f**king idiot every time he's on ecstasy!"
2006-08-06 23:03:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To show the raccoons it could be done.
2006-08-06 22:54:23 · answer #5 · answered by auntiegrav 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
knock knock
damn I forgot the punchline
2006-08-06 22:54:06 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Customer: "Waiter, what's your thumb doing on my steak?"
Waiter: "Keeping it from falling on the floor again, sir."
2006-08-06 23:03:17 · answer #7 · answered by cdf-rom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ohh, the one about the preacher's kids... remember that one.
2006-08-06 22:53:12 · answer #8 · answered by Annie Mae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋