Any Bush jokes?

Answer 1

Bush Jokes




#1:

Bush and Chenny were watching the 10:00 news when it talked about a man that wanted to commit suicide by jumping off a building. During the commercials Chenny made a bet with Bush. He had seen the same story on the 8:00 news and knew that the man jumped. He thought he could make some easy money off Bush and said that the guy would jump.
Well, after the news shows the man jumping Bush takes out his wallet and starts to give Chenny his money.
"I'm sorry, George, I can't take your money." Chenny says when his emotion takes over. "I saw him jump on the 8:00 news" he said.
Bush pushes his wallet to Chenny and says, "No, you got it fair, I watched the 8:00 news too. But I didn't think the guy would jump a second time!" Chenny takes the money.




#2:

What does Bush really think about at cabinet meetings?
"Hey! There isn’t any cabinet in here!"




#3:

Q: How the Bush Administration Changes a Light Bulb? How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?

A:
•One to deny that a light bulb needs to be changed
•One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed
•One to blame Clinton for burning out the light bulb
•One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of light bulbs
•One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb
•One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner: Light Bulb Change Accomplished
•One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark
•One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along
•And finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.




#4:

Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?




#5:

Q: What's George Bush's position on Roe v. Wade?

A: He really doesn't care how people get out of New Orleans.




#6:

Worse than SARS and Bird Flu combined, The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced "going to re-elect him." Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years. Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include: anti-social personality disorders, delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones, extreme cognitive dissonance, inability to incorporate new information, pronounced xenophobia and paranoia, inability to accept responsibility for own actions, cowardice masked by misplaced bravado, uncontrolled facial smirking, ignorance of geography and history, tendencies towards evangelical theocracy, categorical all-or-nothing behavior. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas.




#7:

While visiting England, George W. Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent.

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate."

She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Tony Blair responds, "It's me, madam."

"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

"Uh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.

"Now look here Colin Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother, or your sister. Who is it?" Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."

Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!" And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you stupid, It's Tony Blair!"




#8:


Before the inauguration, George W. was invited to a 'get acquainted' tour of the White House.

After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked President Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom. He was astonished to see that the President had a solid gold urinal!

That afternoon, George W. told his wife, Laura, about the urinal. "Just think," he said, "When I am President, I'll have my own personal gold urinal!"

Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed George had been with his discovery of the fact that, in the President's private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal.

That evening, Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed. Hillary turned to Bill and said, "Well, I found out who peed in your saxophone."



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LiN
EEE, BUET

Answer 2

Big Bush~~Little Bush

Answer 3

Much has already been published about the sexual preferences and notorious behavior of former President Clinton.

However, little has been reported on the sexual practices of the current Commander-in-Chief. It has recently been learned that the President and Mrs. Bush only make love with Laura Bush on top since George W. Bush can only f**k up.

Answer 4

I do not don't forget both in their jokes, however I recognise George Bush is not that humorous. He cannot manage to pay for to be, because he's jogging a struggle, and seeking to hinder American casualties. He has an excessive amount of to be involved approximately. If Americans wish to snicker rather of crying, they are able to watch Late Night with Jay Leno.

Answer 5

Mr. bush?? hes just a bush with old smelly berries on him

Answer 6

So, Bush walks into a bar...and says oww!

Answer 7

yeah....ok, I'm a big fan of you peach so here-goes....
What did the big bush say to the little bush.......???
"Man, we look good in this garden"

Answer 8

just go here:
http://www.planetdan.net/pics/misc/georgie.htm

I promise, you will laugh your head off!
HINT: click on the screen to ACTIVATE CONTROL when you get there...