Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

Nothing, they both leave children's bedrooms with empty sacks!

2006-08-06 20:33:14 · 20 answers · asked by chapped lips 5

They can't find another blonde who knows the whole alphabet.

2006-08-06 20:31:14 · 9 answers · asked by chapped lips 5

People think I am confusing,
because I have a split peronality.

I am, however, helpful
allowing you to see more clearly.

But when there is too much of me,
you will again see nothing.

2006-08-06 20:30:20 · 18 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

2006-08-06 20:12:50 · 37 answers · asked by sweet_rizzu 1

think logically ALL THE BEST

2006-08-06 19:58:57 · 21 answers · asked by bagaruthalli 1

2006-08-06 19:56:39 · 16 answers · asked by lil dog 2

2006-08-06 19:55:14 · 10 answers · asked by bagaruthalli 1

A man calls the Animal Control in his town, because there is a crazed gorilla on his roof, and he can't figure out how to get it down safely. Soon, a van pulls up, and an old man gets out, carrying a small dog, a baseball bat, and a gun. He hands the man the gun.

''Okay, here's what we do. I'm going to go up onto your roof, and threaten the gorilla with this baseball bat until he falls down. When he falls down, this little dog will bite him in the balls until he's incapacitated.''

''Great,'' says the man. ''But what's the gun for?''

''In case I fall down instead of the gorilla — shoot the dog.''

2006-08-06 19:52:57 · 15 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7

Can this statement be true?

2006-08-06 19:38:53 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Last time, we saw this following riddle:

What did Pooh bear said to his agent?
A: Show me the honey!

Heheh. And here is today's riddle:

Why did the cat throw "M" into the freezer?

Good luck!

2006-08-06 19:30:17 · 11 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

make it corny, but funny

2006-08-06 19:25:34 · 15 answers · asked by sad but cute 2

2006-08-06 19:25:00 · 11 answers · asked by ravi_tarun_2006 1

1. The Ghost of the Theater

2. Violinist on Top of the House

3. Tale of the Side Opposite East

4. The Male Monarch and Yours Truly

5. Fortieth Thoroughfare and Two

2006-08-06 19:23:39 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

My first is purple, fit for a king,
My second is green where Dorothy did her thing.
My third is red, July's birthstone as well,
My fourth is seen in strings and is found inside a shell.
My fifth is hard, pure Carbon and expensive to buy,
My sixth is Crocidolite, striped like the big cat's eye.
Seventh is two words, a man-made fake of April's stone,
Eighth is very dark and found at Lightning Ridge alone.
Now take from each gem, one letter in its turn,
And you will find the stuff for which even the gods yearn.

2006-08-06 19:20:33 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-06 19:19:05 · 13 answers · asked by veronica b 1

A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. "So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?"

The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying. "Um ... 22."

The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?"

The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, "Five foot two!"

This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the she won't have to count, measure, or lookup. "Just to confirm for our records, your name please?"

The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about fifteen seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying, "Mandy!"

The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, "What were you doing when I asked you your name?"

"Oh, that!" replies the blonde," I was just running through that song, 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...'."

2006-08-06 19:15:28 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying
the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When
he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the
whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way
with a big gift envelope.

At the second house they presented him with a box of fine cigars.

The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific
fishing lures.

At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful
blonde woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand,
gently led him through the door (which she closed behind him), and
led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with
the most passionate love he had ever experienced. When he had had
enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast;
eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed
orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of
steaming coffee.

As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under
the cup's bottom edge. All this was just too wonderful for words,"
he said, "but what's the dollar for?"

Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be
your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I
asked him what to give you." He said, "Screw him, give him a
dollar!" The blonde then said, "The breakfast was my idea."

2006-08-06 19:10:41 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

FUN FUN FUN

2006-08-06 19:10:19 · 12 answers · asked by RO_dog 3

English word that is nine letters long. Each time you remove a letter from it, it still remains an English word - from nine letters right down to a single letter. What is the original word, and what are the words that it becomes after removing one letter at a time?

2006-08-06 19:00:10 · 3 answers · asked by sag 1

A married couple are driving along a highway doing 60mph, the wife behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks over at her and says, "Honey, I know we've been married for 20 years, but I want a divorce."

The wife says nothing but slowly increases speed to 70 mph.

He then says, "I don't want you to try to talk me out of it, because I've been having an affair with your best friend, and she's a better lover than you are."

Again the wife stays quiet but speeds up as her anger increases.

"I want the house," he insists, pressing his luck. Again the wife speeds up, to eighty mph.

He says, "I want the car, too," but she just drives faster and faster.

By now she's up to ninety mph. "All right," he says, "I want the bank accounts, and all the credit cards, too."

The wife slowly starts to veer toward a bridge.

This makes him a bit nervous, so he says, "Isn't there anything you want?"

The wife says, "No, I've got everything I need."

"Oh, really," he says, "so what have you got?"

Right before they slam into the wall at a 100 mph, the wife smiles and says, " The airbag."

2006-08-06 18:52:23 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have legs but walk not
A strong back but work not
Two good arms but reach not
A seat but sit and tarry not
What am I?

2006-08-06 18:36:57 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Yeah I spent too much time on engrish.com... The person who is creates funnyest Engrish gets ten point! ^_^

2006-08-06 18:31:15 · 5 answers · asked by Jason 3

2006-08-06 18:30:46 · 9 answers · asked by yer daddy 3

If you have me you want to share me. If you share me you won't have me. What am I?

2006-08-06 18:29:54 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

There are 2 ducks in front of 2 other ducks.
There are 2 ducks behind 2 other ducks.
There are 2 ducks beside 2 other ducks.
How many ducks are there?

2006-08-06 18:27:17 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-06 18:24:55 · 25 answers · asked by veronica b 1

2006-08-06 18:22:13 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-06 18:21:16 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-06 18:20:09 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-06 18:19:04 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous