Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

I went into the woods and got it.
I sat down to seek it.
I brought it home with me because I couldn't find it.
What is it?

2006-07-16 15:18:07 · 18 answers · asked by Savage 7

2006-07-16 15:11:39 · 19 answers · asked by Brad C 2

2006-07-16 15:04:35 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

Lets see how many people know the answer to this question.

2006-07-16 15:01:29 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

Hey, I need a hand full of comebacks ( atleast 5 )I can use next year as a 13 year old. Make sure it's nothing that would get me in trouble ( bombing and killing someone equals... can you spell E.X.P.E.L.L.E.D.!) so make it clean and clever so I can end "confrontations" with it. Please this will help me soo much! Thank You!

2006-07-16 14:47:14 · 14 answers · asked by Running Teen 1

Willys cynical thought for the day;

All the people who said, I'll never amount to anything, well, everybody getting these jokes can attest that I'm the best freaking "bad example" you've ever known!

A young, blonde, girl who was a heavy smoker invested in a cigarette lighter to economize on matches. After a short time it began to give trouble. So she spoke to a guy who had one, having just seen him light a cigarette with it and put it in his pocket.

She: Now be a dear and tell me about that thing you have there in your trousers.

He: (Misunderstanding her and feeling a bit embarrassed) I'm not used to discussing such things with ladies.

Blonde: Now there is no need to be shy. Tell me, how does yours work? Do you jerk it up and down?

He: Oh, sometimes...

Blonde: Then it's different from mine, mine just opens and shuts. Do you rub yours up and down until something comes?

He: Oh yes, especially in cold weather.

Blonde Have you ever tried pulling your wick and dipping it?

He: No, most certainly not!

Blonde: Oh. You should, it does it good. You never soaked it before then?

He: Of course I haven't.

Blonde: You should try it then sometime, it takes the stiffness out of it.

He: Err, well... I'm afraid that you are a naughty girl.

Blonde: (Thinking he referred to smoking) Oh, every girl does it nowadays anyway. What about your wick, is it a long one?

He: Yes, it is rather on the long side.

She: I think I will have to try a bigger one because the one I use does not seem to go far enough to do any good. Does yours go red on the end when it's dry?

He: Yes.

Blonde: So does mine. In the past mine has been giving me trouble. Would you like to have a look at it?

He: No no, not now. We had better wait until it's dark.

Blonde: Don't be ridiculous, you can see much better in the daylight. It has been leaking these past few days so I have put a rag around it. I'll unwind it now (opening her handbag and producing her lighter). Look, here it is (showing her lighter). It has run out again, damn ... now I'll have to go back to matches.

The young man faints.

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-07-16 14:41:27 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have seen him on comedy central, he is probably in his early to mid 30s, very very funny!

2006-07-16 14:37:38 · 3 answers · asked by Jimmy & Hollie R 1

Hairdresser to client
Been on your holiday?
No, next week going to Rome.
Oh, the bloody Italians, can't stand that lot and it rains all the time in Italy, did you know that?
We hope to visit the Vatican too.
I hear they charge an arm and a leg to go round and that St. Peter's, it's almost falling down. They'll want a donation, you watch.
A month later the client is back.
Been on your holiday yet?
Yes we went to Rome and visited the Vatican. Actually saw the Pope.
Oh yes, did you speak to him?
Yes, he said Who does your bloody hair?

2006-07-16 14:37:18 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

FROM JUMPING OVER THE MOON AND EATING IT(ITS MADE OF CHEESE)

2006-07-16 14:27:29 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

Whoever can think of the most gets the points

2006-07-16 14:23:46 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

Say some jokes, best joke gets 10 points

2006-07-16 14:09:39 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

"Throw your old one, throw your old one, throw your old one..." Hahahaha!!!

2006-07-16 13:59:34 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

A dyslexic guy walks into a bra.

2006-07-16 13:51:28 · 21 answers · asked by Klaatu Barada Nikto 3

2006-07-16 13:49:55 · 18 answers · asked by pynki♪ 3

Link me to something funny, the one that makes me laugh the most will get the 10 points. Make it specific if it is to a web-site in general I will not look throught it.

2006-07-16 13:44:26 · 11 answers · asked by Enigmatic33 3

2006-07-16 13:40:55 · 15 answers · asked by Pete Allison 6

2006-07-16 13:40:17 · 9 answers · asked by turtle girl 7

look I'm right behind you........................................................................................................................................................................................just a prank or joke,

2006-07-16 13:37:41 · 8 answers · asked by what is the good word? 4

No Porno Sh!t since that's against the rules.

Just sum sum real cute and girly. I'mma pick the cutest one.

Don't be Hating.

H to the iZZo

Peace y'all

2006-07-16 13:33:36 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-16 13:30:31 · 4 answers · asked by crazygreeniis 3

dam we're greedy!

2006-07-16 13:27:16 · 7 answers · asked by crazygreeniis 3

2006-07-16 13:19:05 · 29 answers · asked by Troy/Sarah J 2

2006-07-16 13:08:36 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

If I'm not there start alone ,i will get thre when i get there,

2006-07-16 12:45:52 · 18 answers · asked by what is the good word? 4

okay imagine you're driving a school bus at the first stop you pick up 25 kids, at the next stop you pick up 10, at the next stop you drop off 22, and pick up 14, at the next 13 get on, you stop at a house and a pair of twins get on but they get off at the next stop along with 30 other kids, at the next stop you pick up 40 kids and all but 2 get off at the last stop. what's the name of the bus driver?

2006-07-16 12:37:24 · 16 answers · asked by lizwall526 2

r there any jokes about brunnetes?

2006-07-16 12:35:51 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-16 12:35:27 · 11 answers · asked by Kay 5

2006-07-16 12:28:19 · 21 answers · asked by ☼♥Sweet Qt ♥☼ 7

2006-07-16 12:27:47 · 16 answers · asked by ☼♥Sweet Qt ♥☼ 7

blonde joke but i dont want dirty ones thanks lots!!! god bless :)!!

2006-07-16 12:25:51 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous