Hey, I need a hand full of comebacks ( atleast 5 )I can use next year as a 13 year old. Make sure it's nothing that would get me in trouble ( bombing and killing someone equals... can you spell E.X.P.E.L.L.E.D.!) so make it clean and clever so I can end "confrontations" with it. Please this will help me soo much! Thank You!
2006-07-16 14:47:14 · 14 answers · asked by Running Teen 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Q: You still here?
A: Nope, I just forgot to take my body with me.
Q: How does the phrase "wouldn't date you even if you were the last man/woman on earth" sound to you?
A: If I was the last, I wouldn't even be talking to you.
Q: [Phone stalker with whispered voice] You like sex? how about I give you some... (or whatever they say)
A: You ok? You sound like you're having trouble breathing. Your number appears on my caller ID. Want me to call 911 for you?
Q: Don't you see you're making a fool of yourself?
A: I've seen worse things in life. I'm looking at you, aren't I?
Q: Why don't you get the f*** out of here and leave the big words to the rest of us?
A: Big words... The F word, eh? Sure, I don't feel like getting to your level so I'll leave THOSE big words to the rest of you.
Q: Don't ask me for S***, ok?
A: I'll have to refrain from asking about you then.
Remark: You have only two flaws, your body and your face!
Bold reply:That's not what you said last night.
Light reply: dreaming of me again?
Light reply #2: Interpretation - between lines for "I want you so badly?"
(All with the widest evil grin you've ever made. Maybe even raising an eyebrow.)
Q: Which part of NO you don't understand?
A: Is not the word, is the fact that I love to irritate you. Thank you!
Harrasser: I think you're so hot. How about giving in a little?
A: Not sure. I think I need a second opinion. Would (HR/ director/your wife)'s one be good enough?
Remark: You geek, you'll never be popular.
A: What for, to know what being a string puppet feels like? All I have to do is look at you.
Remark: I don't like you
A:
(#1) [same gender - bold] I'd be worried if you did! *wink*
(#2) Off course, no one likes competition.
(#3) That's what your mom says to you daily, right?
(#4) You'll learn to live with it. Trust me.
I can think of a few more but I'm short of time. Hope that helps.
2006-07-26 06:00:58 · answer #1 · answered by M'lady 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I may be fat, but you'll always be ugly, and I can diet.
Man: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too, if you sit down.
Man: Do you want to dance?
Woman: NO
Man: Sorry, I think you misheard me...I said, You Look fat in those pants.
Little Sister: Your Ugly.
You: And your quite good looking...for a Gorilla, that is...
Do you notice how I've kept my youthful complexion?
Yeah, so I see...all spotty
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You are going to yours, and I'm going to mine.
Man: So, what's your sign?
Woman: No Entry
Man: I know how to please a Woman.
Woman: Well, please leave me alone.
Friend: I've just come back from the Beauticians
You: Pity it was closed...
Man: Please whisper those 3 little words that would make my day!
Woman: Go to hell
Friend: I've changed my mind...
You: Excellent, so does the new one work better?
Boss: Employees like that don't grow on trees you know...
You: How true Sir, they normally swing underneath them...
Brother: Why do you smell funny?
You: It's called Soap - don't think you've ever smelt it before...
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a Female Impersonator.
Man: Hey there, haven't I seen you some place before?
Woman: Yes, and that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Say, haven't we met before?
Woman: Yes, I'm the head Nurse at the VD clinic.
Man: I can tell that you want me.
Woman: You know, you're dead right...I want you to go away!
Wife: Darling, do you think I'll lose my looks as I get older
You: With luck, yes
Work Colleague: Do you find me entertaining?
You: I reckon you are too dim to entertain a thought
Old Wife: Shall I put the TV on? Old Man: Well it would certainly improve the view in here...
You know, I've been asked to get married over a hundreds times.
Yeah, but your parents don't count...
How many people work in your office?
About half of them
Brother: I love biscuits
You: That's cuz your crackers
You: I reckon you'd make a great exchange student.
Friend: Wow, you really think so?
You: Yes, we might be able to exchange you for someone nice.
2006-07-16 14:55:29 · answer #2 · answered by aLiSsA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
these are insults
It's impossible to believe that the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.
If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
I would not allow this student to breed.
Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2006-07-16 15:09:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont speak idiot, so can you speak slowly and clearly?
So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.
Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.
I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?
Don't you need a license to be that ugly?
I see the wheel is spinning, but the hamster looks dead.
If you had another brain, it would be lonely.
2006-07-16 15:42:25 · answer #4 · answered by *believe_it* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its the top of the 365 days. they understand that next 365 days, they are going to be interior the 8th grade and hate seventh graders. are there some cool young ones on your grade that are friends with 9th graders this 365 days? if so, they are in all possibility attempting to guard a friendship with somebody older for next 365 days. now im 21, that's in all possibility dinosaur to you, yet whilst i bear in mind something approximately center college politics, that could desire to be approximately suitable. that, or they are only getting ballsy because of the fact the schoolyear is over.
2016-11-02 04:39:19 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone is trying to push your buttons, try acting bored. If you react you are telling them that you care about their opinion. I moved from California to Arizona at the start of the eighth grade. As the freaky Californian I was a target at first, I acted bored and slightly disgusted. They gave up in about a week and I was viewed as cool by a group who became my friends.
2006-07-16 15:01:21 · answer #6 · answered by cyn1066 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
more like YOU give ME a few comebacks i can use..... NERD
no really, if you need combacks you must be desperate coming on here to get them, DEVELOPE YOUR OWN STYLE MAN everybody has something different about them, you have to use that to your advantage, or you could just be cool enough not to be a loser and NEED comebacks, if your cool enough you need INSULTS not comebacks, really, asking for them is a sign of desperation and if i knew anybody in the school you were going to i would tell all them that you got them here.
the best comeback you can ever use is to punck them in the face, its not killing them but it will stop them from whatever they are doing if they know you can stand up to them.
BUT REALLY asking us for comebacks, COME ON!!!
besides, if you dont beat them up your comebacks will make them want to beat you up and if your as wimpy as your acting now you wont be able to put up with it.
theres only one comeback i suggest ever using and it could be dangerous,
just call his/her mother a whore.
ill put up links to examples of combacks in a minute
2006-07-16 14:56:41 · answer #7 · answered by victor obadiah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For your to say:
Wet the bed again?
I see you forgot to bring your brain to school.
Your parents must be proud that you are the stupidest person alive.
Did your pet rock die recently?
Did your Debbie Gibson's Greatest Hits CD just break on you?
Stay off the meth, it makes you sound stupid.
2006-07-16 15:01:04 · answer #8 · answered by gregory_dittman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, at least my moms not running in the round room looking in the corner for her welfare check.
2006-07-26 07:01:24 · answer #9 · answered by Harley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After stepping in dog poo and being made fun of say "Sorry I stepped on your lunch."
2006-07-16 15:03:14 · answer #10 · answered by Binky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋