Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

life is like a dick
when it gets hard
f*ck it

2006-06-07 15:45:49 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"


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"Don't what?" Adam replied.



"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.


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"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"


"No Way!"





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"Yes way!"




"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.


"Why"




"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was angry! "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.




"Uh huh," Adam replied.




"Then why did you?" said the Father.




"I don't know," said Eve.



"She started it!" Adam said



"Did not!"




"Did too!"




"DID NOT!"




Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

2006-06-07 15:42:28 · 10 answers · asked by Ruthie1959 6

I'm going to a skit party w/o a skit! PLZ HELP!

2006-06-07 15:39:54 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

a bunch of pigs (as time goes by, more and more pigs are joining) at the edge of river.. and they can't swim...and they are trying go across the river. How are they going to do it?

2006-06-07 15:37:09 · 20 answers · asked by LetMEtell&AskYOU 5

2006-06-07 15:23:12 · 14 answers · asked by laugh_out_loud_1 1

no additional details.

2006-06-07 15:19:34 · 11 answers · asked by teamcanada_06 1

Whoever tells me the funniest joke will get 10 points!!!!!!!!

2006-06-07 15:15:01 · 12 answers · asked by ~Me_Who_Else~ 1

2006-06-07 15:05:50 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

mine is
"yarrr..... that's the finest pirate booty i ever did see"
he he :)

2006-06-07 14:46:25 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

because they arrrrr!
he he :)

2006-06-07 14:39:10 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous

I took almost everything out of my bedroom today to paint the baseboards. I had a lot to move. Then clean areas to be painted. Now I'm too tired to put it back!! Who will help me so I don't have to sleep in my recliner?

2006-06-07 14:26:53 · 9 answers · asked by ladysodivine 6

2006-06-07 14:17:08 · 13 answers · asked by ? 6

The dumbest song I ever heard is this barney song its goes like"hahaha hehehe evrybody come sing and laugh with me,giggle gaggle wiggle waggle hohoho if your feelin happy let it go!" I dont understand that song doesnt make me laugh its sopose to!!!!

2006-06-07 14:14:40 · 19 answers · asked by .......... 3

2006-06-07 14:01:00 · 14 answers · asked by ticklefoot 4

2006-06-07 13:51:58 · 20 answers · asked by mrs.voils 2

2006-06-07 13:49:47 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

if you can guess
any of my crush's names'
what music i listen too
and my fave color you get the best answer mate

2006-06-07 13:41:50 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

if you guess close you get best answer?!?
if you can guess
any of my crush's names'
what music i listen too
and my fave color you get the best answer mate

2006-06-07 13:41:13 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-07 12:57:42 · 20 answers · asked by Kelli283 1

2006-06-07 12:52:12 · 9 answers · asked by friend 1

Ok, try this, it'll be very easy or very hard depending on your perspective. Fill in the digits 0 to 9 in the following multiplication problem, using each digit only once. "5" is already done for you.

_ _ _ x _ 5 = _ _ _ _ _

2006-06-07 12:33:19 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-07 12:26:36 · 30 answers · asked by HERNANDO THE TRAIN BANDIT 2

2006-06-07 12:21:04 · 3 answers · asked by kingmindfreak 1

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he
reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. He thought about her
seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to
see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking
at two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.

"They're mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top?" she asked.

"That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.

"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question, he
replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took
her foot and stomped them flat and said, "Well, we're not having any of
that Brokeback-Mountain **** in our garden.

2006-06-07 11:40:48 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-07 11:39:00 · 31 answers · asked by ♥ Totalbrainiac ♥ 3

Ok, so this is based on an old joke. You've probably heard it before. At a carnival, a man tells a boy, "I can write your exact weight on this piece pf paper. If I do, you have to give me $50. If I don't then I will give you $50."

So in the end, the boy ended up paying the man $50. Write the same answer as the man did and you will get best answer.

2006-06-07 11:38:32 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

Often I must war with the waves, fight with the wind -
strive with both at the same time - when I depart to seek
the earth beneath the waters; to me my home is an alien place.
I am strong in the struggle if I hold still -
if I slip, even slightly, they are stronger than I
and, wrenching me loose, soon force me to flee;
will carry away the thing I must keep safe.
I can avoid this so long as my tail endures,
and the stones against my strength have power
to keep firm. Guess what I'm called.

2006-06-07 11:18:41 · 23 answers · asked by xxx_dance_dance_xxx 1

2006-06-07 11:14:34 · 11 answers · asked by bulldog lover 2

I have a c o c k on yonder hill,
I keep him for a wonder,
And every time the c o c k do crow,
It lightens, hails and thunders.


I had to space out the word so they wouldn't put * on it.

2006-06-07 11:12:59 · 6 answers · asked by xxx_dance_dance_xxx 1

where would that no talent a$s clown be without me, nowhere i tell ya!! you're welcome patrick swayze!!

2006-06-07 11:09:35 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous