Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

abnormal to have two small RED HORNS on your Head ...along with a RED Arrow shaped TAIL ???

I have them.....

2006-06-07 19:19:54 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-07 18:43:35 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-07 18:40:05 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

I want to know if these are still circulating about:

What do you call a bunch of blondes lined up in a row?

and

What do you call the blondes in the freezer?

2006-06-07 18:33:20 · 2 answers · asked by powhound 7

A horse is running free, down the road, and passes another horse who is corraled. Which horse is singing, "Don't Fence Me In"?

2006-06-07 18:26:26 · 5 answers · asked by ^ _ ^ 4

2006-06-07 18:23:13 · 32 answers · asked by junior 1

I would like a really good one to put on my 360. :)

2006-06-07 18:06:53 · 13 answers · asked by Melissa 3

Does anyone know????

2006-06-07 17:54:56 · 10 answers · asked by ****** 2

This fat guy sees an ad for a new gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg. They lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropesand parallel bars and ladders and tell him to wait a minute.
He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and out steps a beautiful girl, with a sign saying "If you catch me, I'm yours." He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed. Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there. And just as he's about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes the management who lead him to the showers, and then weigh him. Sure enough,he lost exactly 5 kg.
He's back on the street and starts to think. "Gosh, I was so close to catching her. If I had a little more time..."
So he races back to the gym and says, "I want to lose 20

2006-06-07 17:51:45 · 11 answers · asked by joann_xvi 4

a cockroach in my toy's head....what should I do with the cockroach ???

2006-06-07 17:50:59 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for...

The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a
lovely flower garden...

She seems fine, but after awhile she slowly starts to lean over
sideways in her chair...

Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and
straighten her up. Again she seems fine, but after awhile she
starts to tilt to the other side...

The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This
goes on all morning.

Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to
her new home. "So, Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all
right?" they ask.

"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you
fart!"

2006-06-07 17:50:47 · 9 answers · asked by joann_xvi 4

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.
"Well, it was like this", said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls in to a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was looking around noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my big mistake."
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
"Well, I lifted the cow's tail and yelled to my wife: 'Hey, this looks like yours!'. I don't remember much after that".

2006-06-07 17:49:51 · 12 answers · asked by joann_xvi 4

...can we go swimming in it without getting wet?

2006-06-07 17:49:31 · 7 answers · asked by Bloorf 2

2006-06-07 17:42:32 · 8 answers · asked by Coffee-Infused Insomniac 3

Everyone who answers this question has to ask the same exact question, like a chain letter. :) I wonder if this will work...

2006-06-07 17:37:23 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

John rides into town on Friday, stays for two days and then leaves on Friday. How is it possible?

2006-06-07 17:32:48 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-07 17:30:41 · 18 answers · asked by Coffee-Infused Insomniac 3

2006-06-07 17:12:29 · 15 answers · asked by Coffee-Infused Insomniac 3

My Dear Love,


Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in
trigonometric lane. There I saw you with your cute circular face,
conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden.
Before seeing you, my heart was a null set, but when a vector of
magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of t radians made a
tangent to my heart, it differentiated.

My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which
only you can solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine
of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not
resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me
by applying the limits from zero to infinity.


You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry
of my life revolves around your acute personality. My love, if you do
not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun
will be making an angle of 160 degree

2006-06-07 17:09:49 · 15 answers · asked by ~ D ~ 1

it doesnt matter what kind, i just need a laugh...thanx

2006-06-07 17:09:31 · 14 answers · asked by LoVeLy 3

2006-06-07 16:55:38 · 21 answers · asked by Dumb American 2

2006-06-07 16:43:49 · 8 answers · asked by TINKERBELLE 4

my Mom does it all the time to me! It stinks!

2006-06-07 16:38:03 · 10 answers · asked by tralala 3

with 3 six year olds

2006-06-07 16:37:50 · 10 answers · asked by brent9406 2

They spent $15. Each spent the same amount. How much did each man spend? Explain

2006-06-07 16:32:34 · 6 answers · asked by Nicky 3

2006-06-07 16:25:23 · 6 answers · asked by Willow 3

IM REALLY SAD...BOY problems!!!

2006-06-07 16:15:11 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Special consideration given to the punchlines that are certainly from dirty jokes, but don't read dirty on their own.

2006-06-07 16:13:59 · 18 answers · asked by crutnacker 5

A little boy walks into his parents room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom see's her son and quickly gets off, worried about what her son has seen. She dress's quickly and goes to find him. The son see's his mom and asks "What were you and dad doing?"
The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."
"You're wasting your time." says the boy.
"Why is that?" asked him mom, puzzled.
"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up"

2006-06-07 16:03:56 · 12 answers · asked by freetronics 5

Can you put me up for the night?

2006-06-07 16:02:29 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous