A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.
"Well, it was like this", said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls in to a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was looking around noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my big mistake."
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
"Well, I lifted the cow's tail and yelled to my wife: 'Hey, this looks like yours!'. I don't remember much after that".
2006-06-07 17:49:51 · 12 answers · asked by joann_xvi 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I am literally laughing out loud ...
2006-06-07 19:36:42 · answer #1 · answered by viper 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Things to do in a bathroom stall
1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
5. Drop a marble and say, "oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"
6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place six to eight feet. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"
9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"
11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters.
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"
13. Say. "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"
14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"
15. Say, "Darn, I Knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"
16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"
20. When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say "You got any more toilet paper over there, This side's completely out."
2006-06-08 01:04:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice- very amusing- sounds like it could actually happen!
2006-06-08 01:04:28 · answer #3 · answered by ksquared=KK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Huh? Ahh.
2006-06-08 00:58:40 · answer #4 · answered by Merlin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a good one Joann!!!!!!!!!!
I'm surprised that the guy survived!!!!
2006-06-08 00:57:57 · answer #5 · answered by nice_libra_guy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U r really good at this
2006-06-08 03:00:25 · answer #6 · answered by nish 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha ha ha
2006-06-08 00:52:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol... an important lession here... becareful what you say to you wife
2006-06-08 01:26:32 · answer #8 · answered by iamigloo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW that was funny
2006-06-08 01:00:30 · answer #9 · answered by Erik 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAHA!!! LOVE IT!!!
That is hillarious!!!
2006-06-08 01:24:43 · answer #10 · answered by **ELLE** 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋