Jokes & Riddles - June 2006

First god created earth, then he rested...
Then he created man, then he rested...
Then he created women and no one has rested since!

2006-06-08 06:25:21 · 17 answers · asked by D23 1

2006-06-08 06:23:29 · 17 answers · asked by SEXY in PINK 1

Maria is a devout Catholic. (No condoms for her!) She gets married and has 17 children...and then her husband dies. She remarries two weeks later...and has 22 children by her second husband. She dies.

At her wake, the priest looks tenderly at Maria as she lies in her coffin, looks up to the heavens, and says, "At last...they're finally together." A man standing next to him asks, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean her and her FIRST husband, or her and her SECOND husband?"

"No," the priest says politely, "I mean her LEGS."

2006-06-08 06:21:48 · 17 answers · asked by D23 1

2006-06-08 06:21:38 · 17 answers · asked by SEXY in PINK 1

Here is one

two dead soldiers, back to back,
faced each other, pulled out a sword and shot each other,
two deaf police men, heard the noise, came and arrested the two dead boys.
if you don't believe my story is true,
ask the blind man,
for he saw it to.

2006-06-08 06:18:14 · 7 answers · asked by maxine 4

2006-06-08 05:32:19 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-08 05:26:33 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-08 05:24:46 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-08 05:22:18 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-08 05:16:30 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-08 05:12:58 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

The first one to have a nervous breakdown looses.

2006-06-08 05:09:28 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-08 05:05:42 · 13 answers · asked by odandme 6

Joe took his blind date to the carnival. He said, "What would you like to do first, Kim?" "I wanna get weighed," she replied. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize, Teddy Bear.

Next, they went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Joe asked again what she wanted to do. "I want to get weighed," she said.

They went back to the weight guesser and having been there before, he correctly guessed her weight and Joe lost his dollar.

Joe asked where to next and Kim said, "I just wanna get weighed." Joe figured she must be weird so he took her home early and dropped her off with a handshake at the door.

Kim's roommate Laura asked about the date. "How'd it go?"

Kim said, "Oh Waura, it went weery wousy!"

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/index.htm

2006-06-08 05:03:35 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-08 04:56:32 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am! I absolutly love soduku! who else here plays it?

2006-06-08 04:55:25 · 7 answers · asked by cheergirl1995@sbcglobal.net 1

KAKO SE ZOVETE???


:-D

2006-06-08 04:53:39 · 32 answers · asked by Kraljica Katica 7

2006-06-08 04:52:51 · 11 answers · asked by MAK 6

2006-06-08 04:43:29 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous

!0 points on the line...give me good ones...Old, new, and original

2006-06-08 04:43:28 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-08 04:42:19 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

They are just so sexy, I cant get enough of them.

2006-06-08 04:40:41 · 50 answers · asked by Anonymous

Three woman and their children were ouside their psychiatrist`s office.The wily old doctor was able to diagnose any complaint sfter asking the patient a few questions.The first woman went in and the doctor asked a few questions and proclaimed:"Madam, all you ever think is food!That is why you named your daughter Candy!"
"Why," exclaimed the woman,"you`re absolutely right, doctor!"
Then the second woman`s turn.She got the same treatment and the doctor pronounced:"Madam, you`re obsessed with thought of money.That is why you named your daughter Penny."
"You`re right, doctor!" exclaimed the second woman and left.
The third woman, who had been listening to all this, got up ondignantly and said:"What rubbish! I don`t believe a single word you said.Obsessions indeed!"
Then waving to her little son to follow her, she said,
"Let`s go home now Dick."

2006-06-08 04:37:45 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-06-08 04:31:35 · 24 answers · asked by goldengal 2

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"
And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?"
The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."

2006-06-08 04:25:30 · 19 answers · asked by c_o_e_u_s 2

a clean joke
A man worked hard all day digging the garden and felt very stiff and sore.His wife fluttered about him, pleased with the amount of work he had done and anxious to get him to do some more.
"Have a nice soak in the bath and I'll bring you a drink," she suggested smiling.
"Good idea," says the husband looking forward to being waited on.
He's in the bath when she comes in with a nice glass of Scotch which he accepts happily.
"If there's anything else you'd like just call," says the wife as she leaves the bathroom.
When she got halfway along the landing the husband relaxes completely and lets off an enormous long fart in the bath.
A few minutes later, despite it being a very warm Summer's evening, the wife comes in with a fluffy bed warmer
"What the heck is that for?" asks the husband snappily.
"Oh Darling," says the wife, flustered, "I thought I heard you say, "Whataboutahottawaterbottle."

2006-06-08 04:11:43 · 9 answers · asked by c_o_e_u_s 2

Here are three "what am I" riddles in the tradition of old video games in order to attain the key to pass to the next level you must answer all correctly

Lovely and round I shine with pale light; born in the darkness a womans delight...

Fragile spears that downward thrust; I sparkle like diamonds but never rust....

I am always hungry I need to be fed, The finger that touches me will soon be Red....

2006-06-08 04:04:20 · 10 answers · asked by chrisrocks 2

biotch and my dad is a jacka5s...would that make me a medical marvel or just a mutt?

2006-06-08 03:39:02 · 18 answers · asked by smilesfromred 5

An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom.
As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown and whispered,"Honey, this guy hasn`t seen a woman in year.
Just cooperate with anything he wants.If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it."

"Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag,"I`m so relieved you feel that way, becoz he just told me he thinks you are really cute."

2006-06-08 03:25:44 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

for life ,you cannot change them

2006-06-08 03:23:31 · 10 answers · asked by lili 4