does anyone know any good kid jokes?

Answer 1

http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/


http://www.bconnex.net/~kidworld/weekjoke.htm

Answer 2

The First Date

A boy decided to have a dinner with his girlfriend parents.

Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.

The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.

The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door.
"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated.
The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

Answer 3

A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he
reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was. He thought about her
seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.

Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to
see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking
at two spiders mating. "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.

"They're mating," her father replied.

"What do you call the spider on top?" she asked.

"That's a Daddy Longlegs," her father answered.

"So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked.

As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute and innocent question, he
replied "No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."

The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought for a moment, then took
her foot and stomped them flat and said, "Well, we're not having any of
that Brokeback-Mountain **** in our garden.

Answer 4

ou gotta love this guy... This is a true story about a recent wedding
that
>took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and
even
>Jay Leno mentioned it. It was a large wedding with about 300 guests...
>
>At the reception after the wedding, the groom got up on stage with a
>microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone
for
>coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He
>especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his
new
>father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.
>
>As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone
a
>special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's
chair,
>including the wedding party, was an envelope. He said this was his
gift to
>everyone, and asked them to open their envelope.
>
>Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex
with
>the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier
and had
>hired a private detective to tail them. After just standing there,
just
>watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to
the
>dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm outta here." He had the marriage
annulled
>first thing in the morning.
>
>While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after
finding
>out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if
nothing
>were wrong.
>
>His revenge...making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300
guest
>wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best
man's
>reputations in front of 300 friends and family members. This guy has
balls
>the size of church bells.
>
>Do you think we might get a MasterCard "priceless"
>Commercial out of this:
>
>Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and
>friends.........$32,000.
>Wedding photographs commemorating the occasion .....$3,000.
>Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui....$8,500.
>The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride
>and
>the best man having sex..........Priceless.
>There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's
>MASTERCARD!

Answer 5

Knock Knock

"Who's there?"

"Amos."

"Amos who?"

"A mosquito just bit me."


Why did the firefly get bad grades in school?

Because he wasn't bright enough.


Who went into the tiger's lair and came out alive?

The tiger.


What happened to the leopard who took four baths a day?

Within a week he was spotless.


What did the dog say when it sat on the sandpaper?

Rough, rough!

Answer 6

Two cupcakes are in an oven...One cupcake looks at the other and says, man it's hot in here. The other cupcake shouts in astonishment, "OH MY GOD (or gosh, sry...) A TALKING CUPCAKE!


*lol* my little sisters loved that one...my bf told me that and i told it to them...i laughed so hard on the bus ride home that i nearly peed myself...omg...hope you like it!

Answer 7

What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?




Kids won't eat broccoli.

Answer 8

Why did Tigger go to the toilet? To find Pooh.

Answer 9

KNOCK KNOCK
Who's there?
ICE CUBE
Ice cube who?
ICE CUBE ME I BURPED

Answer 10

What are twin police men called?


Copies!!!!!!

LOL