Marriage & Divorce - 2 October 2007

My husband and I have been married for 7 years and I love him to death...we have a very comfortable and open relationship. The problem is that he LOVES foreplay, sex, etc. I, on the other hand, do not.

I have tried hormones, depression treatment, toys, porn, and the list goes on, but the fact of the matter is I don't like it. Personally, I think it takes to long (I don't mind, even prefer, the quickies) and it seems pointless to roll around in the sack getting all sweaty and yucked up.

We've discussed this many, many times, and I always end up trying to force it to appease him, but then I slowly begin to wane and go back to my 'norm'. He says that he feels a distance between us because I prefer quickies and I don't want to do foreplay or have 'lasting' sex. And the cycle keeps repeating itself.

I would rather not focus on the sexual relationship & focus on the bonds that we have, but he doesn't see it that way.

He is my best friend:-) How can I help him understand?

2007-10-02 04:13:39 · 25 answers · asked by Natalie W 2

husband and i divorced, only to get back together after major threrapist sessions.
next month i will be going to visit my ex sis in law,she turned her nose up at me way before the divorce was over. this visit is for my man and will be topped off with a romantic few days up in gatlinburg alone.
while at the sis's house we will only visit sleeping in a local motel. during the divorce the ole hussy showed her colors and i have no use for her. how can i fake it, have any of you been faced with the ex' n laws, who bad mouthed ya at one point? how can i fake it? what do i say hey you old B, bet ya never thought i would be back? geez i do not want to do this but must.help advice anyone

2007-10-02 04:10:17 · 6 answers · asked by Shari 1

sometimes when you mention that you're separated i've noticed a lot of women shy away. they say the reason is because i could get back with my ex. I say that's really weird especially if your ex filed for divorce, it's a nasty one, and you haven't spoken in 6 months. do people actually get back together after all that nasty stuff going on? I wouldn't think so so why are people so afraid of that?

2007-10-02 04:09:20 · 16 answers · asked by survivor 1

what is killing me the most is that he has started visiting his wife wihtout letting me know, more like he is sneeking behind my back. more interesting is that he missed our appointment and gave an excuse that he was attending a wedding ceremony and yet he was at his wife´s place and never told me but i found out on my own. what do i do!

2007-10-02 04:07:24 · 40 answers · asked by life 1

I just recently got married... I love my husband dearly! But I am having a problem... everytime we have sex and I have an orgasm I just want to cry. It doesn't hurt or anything... I just can't control myself I just start crying and it kind of ruins our time together. I think it is really starting to bother him because he feels like he is hurting me or something but that isn't the case. Is this a normal thing or what?

2007-10-02 04:02:55 · 13 answers · asked by Help??? 2

We were married 6 yrs together for 9. Over the years alot of hostility built up because of many fights and stupid things that he has done. We got married because we we're living together and thought we loved each other and were comfortable with each other. We never cheated on each other and have similar lifestyles . We basically keep to ourselves & have no friends. I have a big immediate family. We have to 2 boys. All the fights caused alot of hurt, hostility and mistrust. He's a good husband as far as he does housework, works hard outside of the house, doesn't cheat, hang out, or drink or drugs but I feel that we don't really get along as a couple and now that I look back, I don't think he was ever in love. He sends text messages saying that he does and is very affectionate, but I don't think he was ever in love with me. I think we should divorce, but he doesn't. I don't think counselling would work unless there was true love at one time which there wasn't & isn't.

2007-10-02 03:58:51 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Is it normal to be absolutly in love with my husband, but to think of how things woud be with out him? We have been married for 3 months and I love him very much. We have a 6 week old daughter who is the light of our lives. Since our baby was born we seem to argue a lot. Every time we argue I wonder if I would have been better off not marrying him, then I look at him and remember what it was that made me fall in love with him and I feel ashamed for even letting my brain wander to the though of asking for a divorce. I have not told him that I have even considered leaving him. There is not kind of abuse involved, I am just extreemly sensitive and hate to argue with someone I love. I watched my parents rip eachother apart with arguements and I can't do that to my daughter.
I guess my question is this...Am I just being too sensitive about the whole thing? Anyone have any advice about how to overcome the guilt I face for these feelings?

2007-10-02 03:47:14 · 32 answers · asked by j_lynn_griff 3

Well i broke up with him!!! I'm feeling great. I still miss what we had at one time but i know some where out there their will be someone who will never yell at me or call me names. I've been still talking to my ex and he is being so nice! He is still calling me "BABY" "sweetheart" "Darling" i told him i don't think he should call me that anymore and he said i will always be his "BABY" i like hearing him say it but it makes me weak to him when he does. I was talking to him last night and he said "i don't want any other girl then you. i still want to sleep together if your down" I didn't know what to say i've never had a one night stand or be friends with benefits! So please help me do you think i'm asking for trouble and even worse more heartache?

2007-10-02 03:44:03 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

Yesterday I used a word that my husband did not understand. (The word was "epiphany," if you want to know.) So, we got into an argument that I "think I know everything" and I think he is stupid and I "pretend to be better than everyone else." And he demanded to know where I learned that word!!
Now, I know he was just saying all of those things because he felt inferior because he did not know the word, even though we both have college degrees. I mean, you learn new things everyday. Why didn't he just think "cool, I learned a new word?" Why did he feel he had to make me feel like crap because I used a word that was not part of his vocabulary?

2007-10-02 03:43:48 · 11 answers · asked by emily1980 2

2007-10-02 03:39:53 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

This guy adored me for over three years. He has been waited for me because I was not ready for a relationship and serious commitment.

In the past three years, he is very supportive with my goals and decision (study and remain virgin) Honestly, he never asked me for anything. He just waited and waited for me.

I love him very much. However, I want to stay on my ground and accomplish my goals (Career, Education, and remain virgin until married)

Recently, he wrote two poems about moving on. I asked him a few times if he want to move on, but he did not want to tell me.
I was heart broken. I love him and I want him to be happy therefore, I do not want to contact him anymore--so he can move on with his life.

I feel guilty and will alway feel guilty. What should I do? Thank you very much for your advice.

2007-10-02 03:38:42 · 24 answers · asked by Hope 4

With most women at thier "sexual peak" in their 30s, when does that peak end for most.
How did this impact your relationship with your husband or BF?

2007-10-02 03:27:59 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

Your already married for God knows how many years. Why would you want to repeat them after God knows how many years? You're just doing the same thing over again. This time it might cost you more money. Maybe at first you didn't have to pay for the whole thing b/c your family helped you out. What makes you think that they would be willing to do the same thing again? Some repeat their vows and then get divorce a few years after. Do you think that if they did not repeat their vows they would still be married today? It's too much......

2007-10-02 03:19:46 · 3 answers · asked by imahlah 6

do you suffer from low sex drive?
my husband doesnt eem to understand that with a child at home and a house to look after, and with him working afternoon shifts ( he comes home around 1.00am or later,) that im not in the mood. im tired, and the last thing i want to be doing is wke up and find a hard thing (excuse the pun) poking me at 1 or 2 in the morning.
ive told him that on w.ends is fine, but even then im too tired to do anything.
doany other women have this prob?
by the way im only 25, so no, im not going through the change of life. lol
please help if you can

2007-10-02 02:49:03 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

A woman who drinks, some kind of alcohol is considered a very huge plus to me! My wife does not knows this. Even though I always tell her to drink with me. Something! Anything! I been trying to get her to drink with me and have good times, being tipsy for the past 15 yrs of our marriage. She did at one time drink some barytle and james wine coolers, but she has completely stop drinking with me. she is very healthy. But she will never never join me in any type of fun in life, such as in this case, loosen up, get tipsy and go out dancing with me. My wife because DOES NOT like me for who I am. I am very extremely open minded and she is very extremely closed minded, so we pretty much contradict each other alot!!!! I always struggle very hard to be as happy as possible, in my marriage of 15 yrs. I NEED THE BEST ADVICE ON THIS ONE!!! From the most experienced! WHAT IS THE BEST gentle alcoholic drink, for me to introduce to my wife???

2007-10-02 02:43:15 · 24 answers · asked by pain_of_unhappiness 2

family , love

2007-10-02 02:34:18 · 35 answers · asked by ASEEL R 1

Have you ever had or thought of having a threesome with another woman or man since you have been married?

2007-10-02 02:27:26 · 21 answers · asked by verrico98 5

Do all women with children, look at men without children, as guys that do not have a clue how to raise children, even if they are married or were married to a woman with children?

2007-10-02 02:27:06 · 26 answers · asked by get the facts right 2

OK my next door neighbor is married he is very hot . he is strong looking and very sexy . I do not think he gets along with his constantly bitching wife much anymore . A few weeks ago i was doing laundry and i put some out on the line , Later it felt as a pair of panties was missing. The same thing next week . So i set out to figure it out i put lots of panties out there . And i hid out of the corner of the yard i see hott mike walk right up to the panties and take a pair . i was sort of shocked he took my favorite pair to . Why did he do this? I wonder what he is doing with them ? should i confront him ? is he sniffing them ? is he Wearing them? any one have answers? what do i do ?

2007-10-02 02:23:47 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

I have been married for 14 years.
I love my wife I just do not know what to do anymore. Somedays I feel I am going crazy and my heart feels empty.
Do I leave, Do I stay and support her, What do I do?
She had an affair for approx a year over 3 years ago
Since then she says she has no passion for me but loves me.
She said she was not herself when she had the affair
I do believe she loves me but question it alot.
I just can't stand that I do not feel the love from her and she can not show it.
Since the affair I have battled depression.
We have 3 beautiful children
I know that before our affair work and money came first to me.
I have tried to change (Actually I have changed) I asked her what she needed from me. She said a listener and I have worked very hard at doing that.
I have told her that I have needs and have been very straight up on what those needs are. Things that I love are long kisses, Out of the blue affection, a night out, touching. She will not try any of them

2007-10-02 02:11:14 · 26 answers · asked by PS 1

but he doesnt no how much its hurting me. Not seeing him, he doesnt understand that hes stopping me from going to school. i want to write him a letter telling how much i want him back in my life. can u please help me i dont no what to write luv susan

2007-10-02 02:09:29 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

he never says he loves me but whenever i ask him he says yes he does. why does he not says by himself. why needs me to ask him. help????????????

2007-10-02 02:08:39 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

He is also married. we had no physical affair ( we dont intend to have) but we both like each other. I think about him alot!

2007-10-02 01:50:54 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous

The husband has an addiction to the net. Tells wife she may not use yahoo chat but he wants it to stay in touch with his family especially his sister in a far away land. He tells wife she cannot add work friends (male). She discovers he has added a female colleague and asks him why. He says for work! They see each other five days (40 hours) a week and can email or call about work stuff if need be. What is he really doing?

2007-10-02 01:38:05 · 31 answers · asked by Mina M 2

My dicorce will be final in Jan 2008. I have a 14 yr old daughter who we share custody. ( He gets her every other weekend and every Wed ) He does not pay child support. He does pay her private school tuition - but we split everything else. Per court orders.
Anyway - he is telling me he can go back into the divorce papers and add that I can not live with another man unless I am married. Is this true? Wouldn't I have to agree and sign something that would have to go back thru the courts? My boyfriend and I adding on another bedroom and bathroom just for her. Just curious if he even knows what he is talking about.

2007-10-02 01:38:02 · 26 answers · asked by TUNA_BURGER 1

if ur hubby wanted to watch a hard core porno w/ u? Would u feel insulted?
or
If someone has watched 1 w/ their hubby did u feel as if he enjoyed watching the girls on the video more then u?

we have watched the romance 1's b4 but never the hard core, it kinda scares me that the females on there will get him more excited then I do... What do u think? Should I watch it w/ him or not??

2007-10-02 01:17:47 · 19 answers · asked by NONAME 4

2007-10-02 00:59:41 · 16 answers · asked by sabita k 2

My ex seems to think that he can take me to court and demand that I give him $400.00 more a month in child support (my two oldest live with him; better schools where he is) because he needs that to cover the mortgage on a townhouse he just bought. I tried to explain to him it doesn't work that way: they go by a percentage of income and it's based on mine vs. his. I have medical problems (12 surgeries and procedures in the past 2 years) and no job. I stay at home with my son. Even if they go by my husband's income, he only makes $10.50/hr. Enough for us to live on. My ex makes like $70,000.00/yr or more. He just has a lot of bills and spends too much, that's why he's coming up short. Is there an online resource or something I can point him to before he wastes everyone's time and money going to court, getting attorneys, etc.? I do pay child support now and see my kids very often; in fact, more that he'd like me to.

2007-10-02 00:03:43 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

I've decided to treat my partner by wearing some sexy underwear and PVC thigh boots in the bedroom.

Have any of you tried this before and do you think I will get the right reaction ? Any tips.

2007-10-02 00:03:30 · 20 answers · asked by Sc00ter 1