This guy adored me for over three years. He has been waited for me because I was not ready for a relationship and serious commitment.
In the past three years, he is very supportive with my goals and decision (study and remain virgin) Honestly, he never asked me for anything. He just waited and waited for me.
I love him very much. However, I want to stay on my ground and accomplish my goals (Career, Education, and remain virgin until married)
Recently, he wrote two poems about moving on. I asked him a few times if he want to move on, but he did not want to tell me.
I was heart broken. I love him and I want him to be happy therefore, I do not want to contact him anymore--so he can move on with his life.
I feel guilty and will alway feel guilty. What should I do? Thank you very much for your advice.
2007-10-02 03:38:42 · 24 answers · asked by Hope 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're doing it. You are letting him go so he can move on. That is what love is all about: doing what's right and what's best for someone else even though it hurts you.
You were honest with him. He is the one who chose to wait. That was HIS decision. Now he feels he must move on. That's actually a good thing on his part because you are not ready for the kind of relationship he wants.
You are to be commended here. You have chosen a higher path and are firm in your conviction to stay on it. I applaud you. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Good luck to you both.
2007-10-02 03:49:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Why don't you just go ahead and marry him if he has waited this long he must be a great guy that you should'nt let go. It's hard for me to believe that you can't get married and do studies you would be getting the best of both worlds. You should sit down and have a serious discussion that leaves the table as him moveing on with his life or the both of you moveing on together in your lives. Ask yourself this will I look back after I have all the great success in my career and know that I let the one who truely loved me just slip away?? You would probably regret it.
2007-10-02 06:35:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
hi
I hat eto be mean and or nasty but to me you are really truely the guilty one her. it appears that you either used him and never planned to marry him and or you have no love in your cold heart. Goals are only as good as you make yourself feel, if you really loved him you can reach your golas together not alone. You wil ask your what if over and over soon, i can promise you that much. Asi see it you have 2 choices (1) Let him go and dont look back and refuse any contact with him. (2) accpet that you love him and want him and keep your goals on the burner but dont tuen your back on him. Before you think i am stupid i would like you to take some time look at any pictures you have of eachoterh and then things you did together and or with friends. If you cry for loosing him you are in love if you just say hey it sover then you never loved him.
Good Luck
Its not easy is it
2007-10-02 07:52:35 · answer #3 · answered by ho8er2 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well u should feel guilt, u have wore this man down to a frazzle of what he once was. u have some making up to do. theres things u can do with him and still stay a virgin, if u ever get the chance to see him again i would start off strong and really show him that ur sorry for all the time he has put into this situation. good luck to u and i will keep u in my prayers.
2007-10-02 03:58:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing. If he wrote you poems about moving on that means he wants to move on. I think he was just to scared to tell you how he feels to your face. It seems like your very goal oriented and thats good stick to what you believe in and don't let anyone change that. Eventually you will meet a man who would wait forever for you....or at least when your done with school and get a job and are willing to start dating again. Don't feel bad you did the right thing....I would of done the same. Good luck!
2007-10-02 03:51:13 · answer #5 · answered by shy girl 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
First, find I man who attracts you physically that strong that he can take your virginity in two weeks. Yes, you are guilty to take several years from the life of a man who loved you. But you can console yourself by that thought a healty man certainly does not do that for you what this man did. He was a submissive type person, but fortunately he realized that what you did with him. Lood luck for him. My last advice is that, if you will have a new adoring type man around you again (your personality magnetizes this type of males) your first task must be to tell the story of this man to the other one to forewarn him what a cold female is his Adored Lady.
2007-10-02 05:15:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you should feel guilty at all. You've been honest and up front with him all this time about your goals - and you have focused your energy exactly where you said you would. You've been completely true to your word, and acted according to your beliefs.
If he chose to wait around for this to change, that was entirely his option and not your responsibility. I'm curious whether he's talking about moving on because he wants to move on, or if it's just because he wants you to change out of fear of losing him.
Either way I commend you for holding on to your beliefs and letting him go, to find his happiness. Don't be heartbroken -- if this is the real thing, he'll be back.
You've handled this beautifully, and shown an extraordinary strength of character. Stick to your goals, you'll never regret it.
2007-10-02 03:49:41 · answer #7 · answered by . 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I don't think it is necessary for you to never contact him. And, NO...you are not guilty. It is very commendable of you to hold on to your values. He is a very dedicated and committed man for staying by your side. I think you should pull back a bit from seeing and hanging out with him. How do you think you will feel if and when he meets someone else? I know you said you love him, but are you romantically in love with him or do you just love him as a person. If you only love him as a person, you need to set him free immediately. He deserves to find love, and you deserve to not live with the guilt you may feel by holding on or possibly leading him on. I wish you the best. Stay strong!
2007-10-02 03:45:33 · answer #8 · answered by THE RESCUE LLAMA!!! 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
do what is in YOUR best interest... and if you want to achieve your goals and remain a virgin, then do so.
if the guy doesn't want to wait, then you can't change that...
however, is spending time together an option?
if he is talking about moving on because there isnt any sex, then he's not worth it anyway.
you have nothing to be guilty about -- you are taking care of the most important person in your life -- YOU. We all have to do it... and make choices which are best for us, not for someone else.
take care.
2007-10-02 03:46:43 · answer #9 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It's possible he's trying to make you feel guilty. The phrase "if you love someone/thing set it free..." is true! It'll come back if it's meant to be. You may want to think of a negotiation..."What could I do to make things better...? What would it take to make this work....?" Just so you can get an open understanding from him and not by a poem.
2007-10-02 03:46:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋