for all the women out there who are married/relationship and with kid/s....?

Question

do you suffer from low sex drive?
my husband doesnt eem to understand that with a child at home and a house to look after, and with him working afternoon shifts ( he comes home around 1.00am or later,) that im not in the mood. im tired, and the last thing i want to be doing is wke up and find a hard thing (excuse the pun) poking me at 1 or 2 in the morning.
ive told him that on w.ends is fine, but even then im too tired to do anything.
doany other women have this prob?
by the way im only 25, so no, im not going through the change of life. lol
please help if you can

Answer 1

I know exactly how you feel, but our husbands get frustrated and feel rejected...how about one night during the week surprise him, set the mood and seduce him when he gets home from work.
It will show how much you love and care about him and make him so happy.

Answer 2

U technically are going thru a change of life cuz u have kids now...I went thru the same thing u r now when I was 20 and it lasted til I was 27 and thats cuz I had my first daughter at 19 and oh ya it was rough, I did everything when it came to the kids and the house and on top of that I also worked... Don't worry I am now 31 and I can tell u ur sex drive will come back and when it does wow watch out cuz let me tell u I now and this started about 3 yrs ago, I can't get enough...In my prime oh most definitely now my hubby struggles to keep up... I would honestly tell ur hubby ur just drained but then tell him that if he can handle just weekends that it will be well worth the wait in the long run when u end up becoming a freak later, no lie...What ur going thru right now is completely normal.

I see people saying that if u don't give ur man the sex he'll find it else where...Well I'm sry to say but some men do go out and attempt to find it else where thats why u can't ignore ur hubby w/ this u do need to talk to him becuz what he's thinking is that ur just not interested in him and thats the last thing u wanna do...

Answer 3

I'm usually on the other end with a higher sex drive. I've gone through periods (usually after the birth of a baby) where I was just totally wiped out. I don't think what you are suffering has as much to do with drive as it does schedule. The shift your husband is working is killer, on everyone. My husbands job changes shifts and 2nd totally wipes me out. Just running with kids in the evening(we have four), making them dinner, helping with hw, getting everyone ready for the next day, bathing, bedtime. After all that I'm pretty tired. What has helped me is to get everything done very early in the day. After I put the kids to bed I stop with the cleaning, laundry etc. I take some time for me. Light some candles, read a book, play some relaxing music. I might read some erotica and that gets my mind racing about sex. I'll call my husband and let him know that it's okay to wake me when he gets home (wiggle eyebrows) and flirt with him. I think you just need to try something different. It's obvious that your husband is having a problem with this so now it's time for you both to work something out so that everyone is happy. Men see rejection of sex as a rejection of THEM. Same with romance for a woman. Being a mother makes it harder to remember our sexy selves. I think you just need to focus on that a little more. Get your mojo back! You'll be happier for it and I know your husband will be too. Good luck ;)

Answer 4

Yes, i'm 23 and have a 2 yr old a 3 yr old and babysit a 6yr old with ADHD everyday. I'm a housewife so with all those young kids my house needs serious cleaning everyday. Plus my husband is military so there is the stress of all that everyday. I am the same way there are alot of times where all i want to do is sleep and sleep. Alot of times i'm in bed before he is. We have other ways that we settle that if i'm not in the mood and other things we do. But i understand how you feel. Its hard for them to understand because our job is 24/7. They have lunch time and they get off work come home and relax. Even when they are home we still cook dinner feed the kids, bathe the kids, put them to bed, and clean up after dinner. Only then do we finally get a break and all we want to do is sleep after all that. I have a 3brd home with all tile floors so you can imagine how hard it is to keep clean. You just need to try and get him to see things from your persperctive. Maybe one weekend go to out for the day, have him do the cleaning and take care of the kids the whole day until bedtime and see if it helps.

Answer 5

So many couples go through this. The first no no is to expect life to be exactly the same after children.. lot's of people are let down if they do and that's leads to problems in itself. It's exhausting. You don't have to run yourself ragged to be exhausted either.. if you're stressed at all, pulled in more than one direction all day, tons to do and not enough time, post partum if applicable.. will all add to your exhaustion and feelings of being overwhelmed. Let him know a relationship isn't 50/50 it's 100/100! If you are overworked at home, you need some time for yourself occasionally and some help with the things that are running you down. You need time to be a couple and that won't happen if your energy is sucked dry. Don't listen to people who say if you don't give it to him he'll find it elsewhere. Unless you're married to a child, that's just lame and such a big excuse for those who have it in them to cheat anyway. Tell him watching him help out is an aphrodisiac lol..

Answer 6

I am going to guess that your children are young? When my children were young I went through the same thing. You need to remember you...Take some time or find some time to do something you enjoy, I call them mini vacations. Sometimes it is as simple as going to the store by yourself. A lot of churches in my area have Mommy time drop off daycare for Mom's to utilize. You might want to check that out. My point is that if you get a chance to revitalize yourself at least once a week you might feel better about making him feel better.

A sage piece of advise my Mom gave me when my children were you was: Children grow up and move on, when they are grown you will be left with your husband. Whatever you have left depends on how well you nurtured your relationship when the kids where growing.

Do have a date night. Even if it is pizza in your bedroom. Remember that the kids are a by product of your love not the other way around!

Answer 7

I am divorced with one child. I work full time and have a house to run by myself with no man to help. I’m tired all the time. And I still want sex every day of the week. It has nothing to do with being tired. Sex is actually a great stress reliever. It releases endorphins in your body (the chemicals that are produced artificially by Prozac) that actually give you an energy boost and make you feel better overall.

I see about a hundred questions a day from women on here about how to make their husbands understand that they are too tired for sex. At the same time I see as many questions from men asking how to get their wives to understand that they need to have sex. I know that generally speaking men have higher sex drives than women, but not always. Regardless of that, the fact is you are his wife and you are the one who is supposed to be fulfilling his sexual desires. If you continually refuse him because you think you don’t have the energy, he will eventually go looking for it elsewhere. I’m sorry, but that’s a fact of life. When you took your vows and said you would love, honor, and cherish him, filling his sexual needs was part of the deal.

You have got to make the effort to summon up enough energy to please your husband. I’m not saying you have to porn star style sex every day. But you do have to make yourself available to meet his needs. And I know from my experience that even though you may be too tired to get things rolling initially, once you get into the action you will find yourself relaxing and experiencing the joy of intimacy with your husband. It is essential that you make the time to do this!

Answer 8

I used to be that way, until one day my husband told me he felt like he was a burden to me, he felt unloved, and felt like I just tolerated him when he wanted sex (it broke my heart to hear him say it, but he kept trying to get through and i just ignored him). I had sex, but he could tell I wasn't into it. I had two small children and always said, I'm too tired, can't you see I"m busy or I would finally relent to just shut him up. So it made me think, if I was him wanting some affection from him and he said that to me or acted like that to me, how would I feel? I decided I would feel like crap. So I made a conscious decision to change my behavior towards him. I love him, I think somewhere along the way, I just stopped trying. Yes having kids can be tiring, but you still have to work on your relationship with your husband. You should never use your kids as excuse to not want to be intimate with your husband. After all it is that very intimacy that gave you children in the first place. if you don't keep your bond strong, you won't have to worry about making time for him, because he will be spending h is time with someone else. He's already begging you in his own way for some love, and so far you are ignoring him. How long do you think you can put him off, before he's had enough?

Answer 9

Yes I hear ya!! I work all day and he works second shift so after work i pick up the kids, cook, clean up the house and get ready for the next day!! By the time he gets home i am in bed and all I want to do is sleep!! In my 20s I had very low sex drive but now that I am in my 30s I cant get enough!! I dont care what time it is!! Things will change!! You will see!!

Answer 10

Yeah, it's normal hunny. Me and my hubby don't have much sex these days due to the kids always being around and us being tired 'cos we're so busy.

It'll get better as the child/ren get older.

Don't take any notice of the negative answers above. Everyone is different and small children are very tiring. Me and my husband love each other a great deal, but there's other ways of being loving without having to be at it like rabbits all the time.

If my husband woke me up at 1am wanting sex I'd kick his head in!

Answer 11

You need to read the book:

The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands

This will give you some insight into the issue.

You need to get some you time. I know that with little one/ones this may be difficult but you have to find the time. Get your hair done, nails done, have lunch/dinner with friends.
This will assist you in feeling more in the mood.

It will work.....