I was married to my wife for 10 years and we were together for 13. Our son is now 8 & we have been divorced for 3 yrs. At the time she left, I had been working crummy (low-paying) jobs & had been sick a lot. She just didn’t think that I would amount to much I guess. Her friends at the time said as much: “you don’t make very much, no home, no security etc etc.” I don’t drink, sleep around, go out with my friends, etc. She never really said “why” she left; she just said that marriage wasn’t what she expected.
Since then, I have become a real estate agent (so I could never be fired/laid-off) & have purchased a home. I have not had a real relationship since she left, just a date here and there. She has been in two relationships since we divorced, with the most recent ending two weeks ago. She had moved in with him, but he charged her rent and favored his kids needs over hers. Since she left him, she has been living with me rent-free, sleeping in my son’s room. Last night, when she said (for the 100th time) “I don’t have my own space; no one is taking care of me….”, I responded “this house is yours, I bought it so you’d always have a place”…. Well instead of anything positive, she just said “that was a long time ago” and living with me is not what she wants.
I’m not trying to get her back as I realize that she is not the same as she was. I just love her unconditionally like a parent loves their children, but there is still anger there in her reaction to me when I show her any type of affection.
At least once every few months or so, she will be brought to tears and tell me that she just wants to stay home with my son and not have to work. Of course this is what I can do or want to do for her. But when I offer, she gets mad. The irony is, that the only alternative that I have by her refusing, is to love someone else and to give the new love of my life everything that the ex wanted because financially I can do this. It is not from spite or anger, but I feel that a Mom should be able to chose if they want to work or not, and I would prefer that she doesn’t. I don’t like daycare and I think that some who really loves them is better than a day care provider.
I don’t expect her to come back to me, but I don’t understand why she would even try to have another relationship where she has to compromise and not be loved unconditionally like I love her. When we first met, she would cry if we were apart for the night, that’s how much she loved me…now she is still so angry inside. No one else in my life is as insensitive as she is to me. My parents are divorced, yet when they see each other they embrace as long-lost friends. They even tell each other that they love each other. This is what I want more than being together. Any ideas?
2006-08-16
10:03:58
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31 answers
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asked by
madjazz
2