About 6 months ago I found an e-mail from my boyfriend TO a woman wherein he told her that he saw his wife in her and that part of his reason for going on his overseas vacation back to our hometown (where she lived) was to see if they could "work out" (pretty sure he wasn't talking about exercising!) I wasted no time and broke up with him. I decided I may as well nip that problem (and possibility of future problems) in the bud.
Their "friendship" always instinctively upset me and I never got a proper vibe from her so I never liked her and always suspected that he COULD have been doing something with her even if it was long distance. But I never had any proof to do anything. And finally I did. I will admit that he left his e-mail open and I was looking through oddly enough ONLY for e-mails from and to her. So I admit I breached trust right there something I have NEVER done. I feel guilty, but I wouldn't have found out.
I think I did the right thing by breaking up. What do you think?
2006-08-16 10:25:14 · 11 answers · asked by Riverblossom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Gosh, you all are making me feel better already! And one of the posters was right..we had a history of him criticizing me all the time (what i wore, what I said) and what was odd, was that he was the ONE person to have all these faults to find with me. No one else did -parents, friends, professors - people I trust to tell me if I'm in the wrong or if I'm off track. You are right..I was an awesome gf...flying to him many times a year, never cheating, supporting him during his low moments! Darn it!
2006-08-16 10:42:00 · update #1
Only you will know if it was right.
2006-08-16 10:30:34 · answer #1 · answered by Cary Grant 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
YES. there was a reason why u didn't trust him. and he had something to hide. put those together, and they equal BAD relationship. even if u loved him, even if he loved you.. if he couldn't be trustworthy, there's no way he could've satisfied u and made u feel 100% secure to trust him unless he was a magician. a woman's intuition is very strong; regardless of if u had a reason to snoop, the fact that u felt the need to indicates there was a problem with the relationship.
yes, it would be great if u could trust him and not look at his stuff. but that only works if he tries his best to make sure u are safe and satisfied, AND that he is trustworthy.
since neither of these things were there, u have nothing to feel guilty of. remember, u were a committed, solid girlfriend. u were ready and willing to accept him and his "friendships". it was Him who breached the trust of the Relationship.
always remember to work hard on urself, and have expectations from yourself as a girlfriend. if u hold urself to high expectations, then u have the right to expect the same from your partner. as long as u hold on to what u want in urself, ur partner, and the relationship, u will be an Awesome girlfriend. therefore, if u believe that, u deserve an Awesome boyfriend. and anyone who makes u feel bad about urself, insecure, or sad, is an indicator that your relationship will not be strong. anyone who makes u feel positive, healthy, happy, and safe and secure will have more chance of a successful relationship. if u gave him a chance cuz u love him, by all means go ahead. but if he doens't take advantage of that chance and try to change, then that's his fault, and he's not good enough for you.
2006-08-16 10:37:22 · answer #2 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he left it open, don't you think he was trying to get caught? It's good in a way that you did find out when you did. Things always happen for a reason. If he never gave you the reason to do this then you would have never gone in and read them. Always go with your gut feeling. Think of it this way, if you didnt read it, maybe another 5 years of your life would have been wasted on someone who dosent see you as "wife potential."
2006-08-16 10:32:50 · answer #3 · answered by bella 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you must be a wonderful caring human being. Perceptive too. You have done the right thing. I have 2 grown sons that are very handsome and good. One had an experience like yours. I am glad he saw it coming.
Good Luck
2006-08-20 09:43:47 · answer #4 · answered by Makingwishes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you did the right thing. Hope you find a better one next time.
2006-08-16 10:33:07 · answer #5 · answered by ZCT 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he would have never committed to you. You have already wasted 5 years on a deadbeat so now you are free to be available to a good man. Don't give up your virtue to early in a new relationship or a man will never respect you.
2006-08-16 10:33:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You did the right thing without a doubt. And about checking his email-whatever it takes to catch a cheater or wannabe cheater is ok in my book. After all, if they were being honest you wouldn't have needed to check up. Good call to dump him. Good call to check his email.
2006-08-16 10:30:42 · answer #7 · answered by Lotus 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. If someone can't be up front and tell you that they want to see someone else then they deserved to be broken up with.
2006-08-16 10:34:20 · answer #8 · answered by Rena 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing.
2006-08-16 10:39:40 · answer #9 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you did the right thing too.
2006-08-16 12:09:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did GREAT to keep it going that long without cheating issues.
2006-08-16 11:16:12 · answer #11 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋