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Family & Relationships - 5 November 2007

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Family · Friends · Marriage & Divorce · Other - Family & Relationships · Singles & Dating · Weddings

I got uber close to someone last year when their life was a disaster; now things are getting better by the day in her life and I'm feeling increasingly insecure and redundent. Am I right to feel this way, or just being paranoid?

2007-11-05 01:30:35 · 15 answers · asked by SITSC 1 in Friends

I am 21 years old and I just started going out with my boyfriend "officially" on Friday. We haven't done anything sexually yet (except kiss of course) as I want to take it somewhat slow. Is there an appropriate amount of time I should wait before sleeping with him? I am very easily attached and I have been known to fall for men quite quickly. I want to be smart about this, as I have made the mistake of sleeping with men too early in the past.
Also, I don't want this relationship to fail. I broke up with my last bf of 2 years because things just got BORING and there was no sex life. How can I keep things interesting (regarding sex and also regarding hanging out together)? Any advice is appreciated!

2007-11-05 01:23:58 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

like this guy named Brian. I met him when i was out in San Diegio about 3 months ago.. while in San Diego, i had no where to live.. so he let me into his apt and I lived with him for 2 months. well I had to come back out to FL for a little bit and he told me that he used to live here (Ft lauderdale.. like 20 minz from me.. what a small world right?!) well he told me right before I left for FL, that he is infatuated with me, and to not go falling in love with a guy out in FL.. yes we did have sex while I was there.. kiss/cuddle/like one another/etc etc..He also was almost crying when I left AND he told me that he would be out at the end of sept to visit Ft laudaerdale and how he def wanted to visit me while here for a week.

Well he did come out at the end of Sept.. we spent 1 day together and he was here for almost 2 weeks. He didn't have his own phone.. but the dude he was stayin with out here was letting him use his phone.. he hardly called.. and
56 minutes ago - 3 days left to answer.
Additional Details
53 minutes ago

when I called he never answered.. finally he did call back apologizing saying he was busy with these odd jobs to make money and he promises how he wants to hang out more than 1 day.. etc etc.. well we did see each other once.. we did have sex.. talk.. he told me he didnt want a relationship so fast because he is recently divorced and was in bad relationships (same with me!!.. just got divorced too.. abusive relationship)

well he is back in San Diego now.. and I was just talking to 1 of his friends whom I have met/hung out with at his house/drank/partied with/etc etc.. he called me saying that Brian called him last week and when he (donnie) told brian that I have been asking bout him.. he told me that brian told him.. "Don't even tell her I am back out here in San Diego" "I am not interested anymore".. this all seems WAYYY off and not like Brian at all. Brian has been swearing up and down how he isn't like every other guy.. and i can trust him.. and 'how often have you fallen for
50 minutes ago

guy like me" "I promise u have nothing to worry bout.. i wont hurt you.. etc etc" cause i told him straight out that I do like him.. but i am scared to get too close cause of my past divorce/relationships/etc etc..

Also.. I am planning on going back out to San Diego.. I already have the bus ticet and have had it for a long time now.. its for the 7th.. gets to san diego on the 9th.. I told donnie on the phone lastnight and he told me that I can always live with him and his brother in his apartment in San Diego if i have no where else to go (which i sorta don't.. so i am taking him up on his offer)

thing is.. BRIAN lives there too.. in the spare bedroom. (he pays rent like a roomate)

well.. brian hasen't been back to the apartment since he has been back to San Diego (he is stayin in some other part of San Diego.. male friend of his has a time share so he stays there a lot).. donnie and i talked till like 3am my time on the phone lastnight.. i was making sure he was for real
47 minutes ago

allowing me to stay/live with them/etc etc..

welll about 2 hours ago.. he finally told me bout what Brian said to him on the phone (he claims he called him 1 week ago and told him that he wasent interested in me etc)

why on earth would he not have told me lastnight on the phone all that time???

I am going to be living with him for gosh sakes.. AND Brian lives there too!.. how awkward would it be??

Donnie claims he didnt want to hurt my feelings by telling me AND he said he was drunk on the phone lastnight which that is true.. but he was with it enough to talk to me/make sense.

I told donnie how i feel for brian just a little earlier.. i told him that I do indeed love brian.. and no matter how brian feels.. my feelings will never change towards him. that is why Donnie told me.. "well if brian doesn't feel the same way.. can you deal with that?" I said yes.. and he told me "well he told me a week ago on the phone that he isnt interested anymore"..

its wayyy hard to
43 minutes ago

to believe.. it really is..

I mean he came to see me while visiting out here.. we had a nice/serious/adult convo.. he MADE me tell him exactly how i feel towards him.. i didnt want to because i hate rejection, but i did cause he basically "pumped it out of me" plus he already knew how i felt for him cause i somwhat told him out in san diego before i moved.. he told me that he wanted to "hear everything how it truly is" so i told him and i told him how i want to eventually 1 day be with him and he said "that is possible"

Even though he never said he loved me back.. I can tell in his eyes that something is there for me.. Eyes don't lie. the way he looks at me with such serious eyes and the sincere look on his face.. its un real.. i am head over heals for this guy. i pray Donnie is lying and he never did tell him that he wasent interested.

Also.. Donnie likes me a lot.. last night he wouldn't stop talkin bout sexually stuff on the phone.. bout how he wants to F*** me/etc etc.
39 minutes ago

sooo any ideas??? I asked another 1 of my friends and he seems to think it can be a lie because Donnie wants me/likes me/etc etc

I just don't understand how he wants me to come live in his apt until i get my sh*t situated, BUT he didn't tell me bout all this stuff that Brian supposedy said bout me until today (2 or so hours ago) when we were on the phone all night/early am yesterday.

Also.. Donnie and I were talking 3 days ago and he told me that Brian called him and said he was finally back in San Diego.. BUT Donnie just told me that Brian supposedly said all of this 1 week ago (about not wanting me to know he was back in San Diego.. and not interested in me)

Also.. I asked donnie what Brian's EXACT words were.. and he says.. " I dont remember his EXACT words, but it was something like "Don't even tell her I am back in San Diego" then Donnie said "Why dude.. you done with her?" and Brian says "Not interested any more"

I am sooooooooo confused and heart broken.. MEN! AGH!
2 minutes ago

let me add.. when i was living in san diego with brian.. Brian wasen't living with Donnie yet.. Brian had a roomate and they both agreed to let me stay/live there. Well Brian got kicked out since I have been gone from san diego, and Donnie invited him to live with him in his place.

I really think Donnie likes/wants me and after hearing me tell him on the phone how much I truly do like/love brian.. he is wanting to try and wreck it by me thinking Brian is done with me.. so i get all upset and turn to Donnie for comfort.. and then hopefully to him.. i fall for him.. sound bout right?
56 seconds ago

let me add.. when i was living in san diego with brian.. Brian wasen't living with Donnie yet.. Brian had a roomate and they both agreed to let me stay/live there. Well Brian got kicked out since I have been gone from san diego, and Donnie invited him to live with him in his place.

I really think Donnie likes/wants me and after hearing me tell him on the phone how much I truly do like/love brian.. he is wanting to try and wreck it by me thinking Brian is done with me.. so i get all upset and turn to Donnie for comfort.. and then hopefully to him.. i fall for him.. sound bout right?

BUT.. Brian never calls me.. he swears he doesn't have his own phone (had one when i was there, but it got turned off from lack of paying the bill) BUT.. obviously he has a phone of some kind or access to one because he does call Donnie..

Also.. Brian isn't online.. but his screename is on there with a cell phone icon next to his name.. don't u HAVE to have a working phone to be able to have that
44 seconds ago

let me add.. when i was living in san diego with brian.. Brian wasen't living with Donnie yet.. Brian had a roomate and they both agreed to let me stay/live there. Well Brian got kicked out since I have been gone from san diego, and Donnie invited him to live with him in his place.

I really think Donnie likes/wants me and after hearing me tell him on the phone how much I truly do like/love brian.. he is wanting to try and wreck it by me thinking Brian is done with me.. so i get all upset and turn to Donnie for comfort.. and then hopefully to him.. i fall for him.. sound bout right?

BUT.. Brian never calls me.. he swears he doesn't have his own phone (had one when i was there, but it got turned off from lack of paying the bill) BUT.. obviously he has a phone of some kind or access to one because he does call Donnie..

Also.. Brian isn't online.. but his screename is on there with a cell phone icon next to his name.. don't u HAVE to have a working phone to be able to have that
15 seconds ago

let me add.. when i was living in san diego with brian.. Brian wasen't living with Donnie yet.. Brian had a roomate and they both agreed to let me stay/live there. Well Brian got kicked out since I have been gone from san diego, and Donnie invited him to live with him in his place.

I really think Donnie likes/wants me and after hearing me tell him on the phone how much I truly do like/love brian.. he is wanting to try and wreck it by me thinking Brian is done with me.. so i get all upset and turn to Donnie for comfort.. and then hopefully to him.. i fall for him.. sound bout right?

BUT.. Brian never calls me.. he swears he doesn't have his own phone (had one when i was there, but it got turned off from lack of paying the bill) BUT.. obviously he has a phone of some kind or access to one because he does call Donnie..

Also.. Brian isn't online.. but his screename is on there with a cell phone icon next to his name.. don't u HAVE to have a working phone to be able to have that
2 hours ago - 3 days left to answer.
Additional Details
2 hours ago

when I IM the name it says "your message has been sent to my mobile device.. when i get it i can respond back"

and to just make matters all the more better.. (yeah right!)

my period is going on being late.. and i am having pregnancy symptoms.. if i find out i am preggo, i am going to be scared to death to tell him/donnie cause they will just say that i am saying that to get to be with him.. and when it turns out i am in fact pregnant, he could want a DNA test.. he was the LAST person i was with.. so its for sure his baby if i am
13 hours ago - 3 days left to answer.
Additional Details
13 hours ago

Also.. Donnie keeps saying he is 100% sure that I am welcome to live there in his apt with him/his twin brother/and Brian.

What would you do? would you move in or not if you were me and in this situation?

Brian doesn't even know bout the possibility of me moving in as of right now.. Donnie said the next time Brian calls, he is going to talk to him bout it.. but Donnie is saying since its his (and his brothers house) then they don't care what Brian says.. I am still welcome.

you have noooo idea how much i wish to god that donnie is lying bout brian saying that stuff.
13 hours ago

i have no idea how i repeated stuff a bunch of times.. sorry bout that.

2007-11-05 01:23:40 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

I like this guy and i'm dropping hints(not so obvious ones though). I mean its ok that he is always busy and cant he reciprocate at least? Like today i went,"oh ive to go now but before that i wanna say that i missed u" and there was no reply. Should i give up and move on?

2007-11-05 01:22:19 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

What I am going to say may sting some people but my opinion on relationships will be broad so bog down with me. In the beginning of relationships, your mate is willing to do anything for you, the newness of a fresh relationship feels good because we can camouflage many of our flaws and only allow your mate to see the good side. This misleads and becomes is a mirage, a mask that your mate falls in love with. In theory, when things go wrong, (which it will eventually) the person that you thought you knew, you really don’t know. Their actions are something that you’ve never seen before, rationality is out the door, my way or the highway is in overdrive! In these types of relationships, the couple only brought themselves in halfway, which will always lead to destruction of a relationship. People like to hit the EASY BUTTON, Instant gratification seems to be the way of society, Aside from drug and alcohol abuse, and infidelity, why do people just give up? www.overstand.o-f.com

2007-11-05 01:20:38 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

I have been spending a lot of time with my guy friend, and his best friend. I have developed a lot of interest in this friend of his. We text message each other every day, and I have been told that he thinks I'm cute. We've been "just friends" for a few months now, but the texts we send tend to get kind of flirtatious, but once we're in person nothing happens. I don't want to make the first move, and if things happen I am glad they started slow... but how do I give slightly more forward messages without being TOO forward, incase he's not that interested.. I don't want the friendship to get awkward.
What text should I send next?

2007-11-05 01:20:30 · 2 answers · asked by carolynl1787 1 in Singles & Dating

I notice girls tend to have lots of guy friends when they're at school and stuff

is this a fad that dies off?...I hope so because I don't want my wife associating with other guys at all

can any married women tell me if they still keep having guy friends?

2007-11-05 01:14:47 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

that doesnt involve sex....

2007-11-05 01:10:33 · 8 answers · asked by oldergirl123 3 in Singles & Dating

how do you know if a guy is bringing a girl around you to try to get rid of you, or make you want him more?
what if he tries to make eye contact with you when he's with her?
some people answered before that its to make me jealous, if so, whats the point? to get rid of me? i dont understand that. ive never done anything like that so im confused

2007-11-05 01:09:48 · 6 answers · asked by HerR 2 in Singles & Dating

My bf and I have been living together for almost 4 yrs now I have 2 children from a previous marriage and I get child support for them this money goes toward them and our household bills my bf pays for the mortage and his credit card bills the trouble is his mom and brother are really irrisponsible with thier money they buy things that are way too much for them to handle I don't mind helping someone out in need but how can I tell him to stop supporting them . It isnt fair when his brother's wife dresses better than I do and his brother calls my bf up crying that he has no $ for his kids and his mom has her utilities shut off cuz she is paying for all the bills cuz her new hubby wont get his lazy butt a job and help support her so she calls my bf crying too . they choose to live this way why do we have to bail them out time and time again ? and my bf is a giving person and loves them very much but I feel they are taking advantage of him what can I say ? and not seem mean ?

2007-11-05 01:05:45 · 9 answers · asked by ThE OnE aNd OnLy ..PEPSIGIRL 2 in Family

My mother in law likes to comes over to my house every week. she will leave messages on my machine and if I am busy with baby and do not answer them, she will take it upon herself to show up anyway. I love her but sometimes wish she would take the hint. Am I right to feel this way or am I being too harsh

2007-11-05 00:54:19 · 6 answers · asked by martha 1 in Family

My daughter insists that it is not Christian-like to marry a younger man but she says it is ok to us to live together forever. She says that he can even but me a ring but no paper is gonna be coming along with it. My son tells me to just ignore her and dont stress over it. my daughter is 21 and my son is 23. What is your advice?

2007-11-05 00:52:05 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Marriage & Divorce

We have been married a year and a half and have 2 kids and now Im 4 months pregnant with baby number 3... we planned this one lol. BUt yet he never seems to give me attention. He has always been like this but now its just getting worse. He wants to be with the computer. Honestly he woke up early to get him self off this morning.... and I went to bed 2 hours early last night and yet nothing. He has done this before but now he is doing this again. What should I do? Is this normal? I think he might be cheating all of a sudden he won't let me look at his cell phone but when ever I do look at it. It hass phone numbers I've never seen before. Is my marriage already ending?

2007-11-05 00:38:47 · 27 answers · asked by crazy_cat_lady 4 in Marriage & Divorce

I have this sister and she is interested in a married man even though myself and others in the family have expressed our disapproval. How do i make her see that he is using her. She has stopped talking about him to me but i know she is still in contact with him. Should i post some kind of comment on his myspace page like, "OH, maybe your wife would love to know that," or something. I don't want her getting used. And that is what he is all about.

2007-11-05 00:35:48 · 8 answers · asked by smokey virginia 3 in Family

Sometimes I go to Youtube and watch new music videos, but are there other things to do on the internet

2007-11-05 00:24:34 · 28 answers · asked by Learning is fun! 4 in Friends

I'm 24 and I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half.
We are great together, he's so funny and we talk about everything and anything. He makes me feel so safe and I love him.

However, I sometimes don't want to sleep with him. He's not 'always on the want' or anything, but I feel like I'm 'not doing my duty' as a girlfriend. so I put pressure on myself. Most of the time, I'd rather just lie in his arms.

Is there something wrong with our relationship? Or something wrong with my attitude towards sex? Does anyone else every feel this way?

Thanks.

2007-11-05 00:22:26 · 63 answers · asked by Anonymous in Singles & Dating

I need to break away from him,, he says if his wife chose to divorce then he would but he wouldn't be the one who said he wanted a divorce even though he says he is miserable and they do not even sleep in the same room,, I told him I wouldn't want to be with him that way,, if he loves me the way he says he does then he should be the one who initiates the divorce,,,I feel that if she divorced him he would only be coming to me because she did not want him,,,, I never in a million years thought I would ever be in this situation and when we met i was just curious to see what it would be like to sleep with someone older than me,,now every time I think about him not being in my life i just cry but I know deep inside that i cannot go on like this,, i am also a single mother and cannot afford to take time off from work,, I am trying to figure out a way of weaning myself away so its easier on my heart,, if anyone has any suggestions please help me

2007-11-05 00:18:02 · 25 answers · asked by beaq 1 in Marriage & Divorce

my boyfreind cheated over me..he is getting married..but he still lies..he calls me ..he says he wants to meet me..he tells me tht i cant do with out you..he wants to kiss me..wants to make out with me..when i tell him tht have some shame..you are getting married..he tells me not right now..i'll be geting marrried but after some months..but the truth is tht he is getting married in 20 days....but the girl he is getting married to does not exit..he is faking her name..he is getting married to tht girl for whom he betrayed me..pls tell wht should i do..should i go for his wedding?

2007-11-05 00:17:08 · 13 answers · asked by littlemermaid_2001 1 in Marriage & Divorce

If you found out that your mother was cheating on your father and confronted her about it but still she contnues what would you do?

2007-11-05 00:16:33 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family

Can flirting outside a marriage spice up the married life of a couple?

Do you look down upon people who don't do it?

2007-11-05 00:16:26 · 16 answers · asked by Razor 5 in Marriage & Divorce

My aunt is in a nursing home and I was visiting her everyday. I had to stop because it was tearing me up emotionally. I cut down to once a week. My mom said if I do not go more that she will get pneumonia and my aunt will sit and cry in her room and get kicked out. My aunt cries when I go visit her and tells me that I need to visit her the next day. My aunt cries and asks me to pray for her so she can survive the nursing home.

My mom won I am doing what she wants. I realize that this has set a president and my mom will do this again because it worked. My friends say that I need to keep my boundaries, take care of myself and only do what I can do. When I stopped going to see my aunt every day I started sleeping better and was less depressed. What should I do? I am back to my insomnia again this am. It is really early here.

2007-11-05 00:13:53 · 6 answers · asked by adobeprincess 6 in Family

Not to me i dont care.

2007-11-05 00:07:07 · 30 answers · asked by tony s 5 in Marriage & Divorce

progress, it hasn't been much. He's only takn me on a date 4 x (most of which I had to ask), walks ahead of me, & usually doesn't hold my hand. He refuses to hold hands during prayer @ church, and won't even let me kiss him. When he's w/ his buddies, nearly ignores me instead of putting his arm around me or something. Once or 2x, I went to sit next to him, & instead of welcoming me, he said, "There's another chair right there!" He never says, "hey, I'd like to see you tonight. What time are you free?" Just "Are we hangin' out today?" or "Were you wanting to hang out, or no? The guys want to get together, is that ok?" He always asks my permission instead of making a decision indicating, "I love you & I'd like to see YOU." He is a very sweet, loving, sensitive guy with no clue. He's also 24, @ home, has a degree, but isn't really seeking a job. His MOM pays his bills (w his $) We really love each other, I know he cares, but no matter WHAT I say, he just doesn't get it, & I feel slighted

2007-11-05 00:00:25 · 10 answers · asked by ellenoid 3 in Singles & Dating

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