My mother in law likes to comes over to my house every week. she will leave messages on my machine and if I am busy with baby and do not answer them, she will take it upon herself to show up anyway. I love her but sometimes wish she would take the hint. Am I right to feel this way or am I being too harsh
2007-11-05 00:54:19 · 6 answers · asked by martha 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
yes maybe I am a little tired and not thinking straight. she is divorced and we are the only family she has. maybe I should allow her to see the kids and baby more often. thank you everyone for the great advice
2007-11-05 01:57:22 · update #1
Once a week is not an inappropriate amount of time for a visit, and you may be alittle on edge because of lack of sleep and the stress of having a baby. You aren't too busy to answer a message from your mother in law, you just aren't doing it. Call her back, tell her when to come and then let her babysit for a couple of hours and either get some sleep or go take a walk, go to the gym or go shopping. You are stressing out and creating a situation that is going to blow up in your face. My guess is that you are exhausted. Take advantage of what she's offering you, or put her in the position of serving some function. She raised the man you love enough to have a baby with, she'll be ok with your baby.
2007-11-05 01:15:37 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may want to stop hinting and start talking. Tell her directly what you want. You can't expect anyone to read your mind or your hints. You're being unfair to her if you haven't spelled things out for her.
Your mother in law is most likely very excited to have a new baby in the family and enjoys spending time with you both. She may not realize that you find her regular visits intrusive. You have a right to want to control the number of and the timing of visits. I'm sure that if you talk to her and explain your reasons for wanting things a certain way, she'll be happy to comply. But you need to give her that opportunity.
2007-11-05 09:11:38 · answer #2 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No,your are not being harsh. If you told her you are busy,and would love to see her some other time.And see comes anyway! She's be alittle rude.
To keep peace ,between you and your husband .I would talk to him.But if she comes over anyway.I would go on with my plans.
We all have to get things done!It's your home,she should respect that!
Take care!
2007-11-05 09:03:59 · answer #3 · answered by need2know 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to respect the fact that you are busy and don't have the time to deal with her BS. If she comes over, tell her this is not a good time and close the door. You can bet that if you did this to her, she would raise hell.
2007-11-05 09:54:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not being harsh. you are entitled to your privacy. i would return her calls. you are leaving yourself open by not returning her calls to come over to your house. return the calls, tell her you are busy, if she is wanting to come over. you have to set boundaries, she seems unaware of them. it's not a matter of hurting her feelings, because you are not, but, it's a matter of your being able to make the decisions on your terms whether or not you want people to visit at a particular time - it's not their choice, it's yours.
2007-11-05 09:22:01 · answer #5 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right, but you have to take on the adage when you marry someone you marry their family too. So keep the waves to a minimum is my advice. Talk to your husband, perhaps it would talk to his mom.
2007-11-05 09:21:32 · answer #6 · answered by cellguy38019 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋