I'm 24 and I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half.
We are great together, he's so funny and we talk about everything and anything. He makes me feel so safe and I love him.
However, I sometimes don't want to sleep with him. He's not 'always on the want' or anything, but I feel like I'm 'not doing my duty' as a girlfriend. so I put pressure on myself. Most of the time, I'd rather just lie in his arms.
Is there something wrong with our relationship? Or something wrong with my attitude towards sex? Does anyone else every feel this way?
Thanks.
2007-11-05 00:22:26 · 63 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
nothing wrong with it actually...
2007-11-05 00:25:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
It's normal that you don't want to have sex as often as you used to once you've been in a relationship for a while.
Talk to your boyfriend and find out if he feels like you're not having enough sex. There is no set rule about this, every couple has to figure out how much sex both partners need and are happy with. Maybe it's not as big a problem for him as you think and you'll find there's no reason for you to put all that pressure on yourself.
You might want to find some ways to spice up your sex life so that it's more exciting and fun for both of you again. But this is also something you will have to do together with your boyfriend.
Good luck!
2007-11-05 01:10:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm definitely not expert in this field, so keep in mind this is just my opinion : ).
You may not have that high of a sex drive. Not everyone in their twenties is a "horndog". I'm in your age group myself and trust me, as much as I love my boyfriend, I often don't feel "in the mood either". A question that I'd like to ask is do you ever feel like having sex? A complete and total lack of sexual desire could mean something else.
Are you romantically in love with him? Or do you adore him the way you would a best friend? I know that that is a hard thing to consider but it may very well be the case.
Also, has this problem occurred with other boyfriends? You may have something medically wrong with you that is reducing the level of "sex hormones" you are receiving in your brain.
There are so many possibilities here. Take a look into your past and see if there are any patterns.
Hope this helps, good luck!
2007-11-05 00:31:45 · answer #3 · answered by ashnperry 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Sex in a relationship is very important especially to the guy. If you no longer desire him the way you did before, then you are either A) bored with it, and need to spice things up a bit, or B) you dont love him like you think you do. It seems that you need to step back and ask yourself if you really love him, or if he's just a secure feeling for you. It is too easy to mix the two up. If you stay in this realtionship for security, then you are being selfish. If he needs the sex, no matter how much he loves you, he will find it elsewhere. If you do love him, try new things with him, something to bring back the spark. If you don't love him then let him go. A relationship is about all combined not just a little of each.
2007-11-05 00:50:08 · answer #4 · answered by dannah1129 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with it. You have different drives and that is the same with most couples. He's not pressuring you so that's good, you shouldn't feel you have to turn it on when you aren't in the mood. If anything he you did roll over to please him whenever he wanted, the whole experience becomes a chore and you'll stop enjoying it.
Ignore everyone on here that says you don't love him, or have got a problem. It's rubbish.
2007-11-05 00:35:31 · answer #5 · answered by Blondie Bear 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is normal - I have definitely felt this way. I love feeling safe and loved, but it's not always exciting. I was incredibly hot for my boyfriend when we first started dating so I know it's not him or the sex. Another problem is the worrying - now sex has become this big issue associated with guilt, doubts about my relationship and concerns about things like being frigid. It's hard, but try not to worry about it. Try to pick times when you're feeling good (like after exercise) and initiate sex. It's okay if there's a little bit of duty but if you initiate it you'll probably feel sexier instead of guilty for resisting his advances.
2007-11-07 01:57:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen hon, if you don't like sex you're doing it wrong!
Find the reason you don't like it, there must be some sort of issue. Do you not orgasm, or not get the pleasure you need? If you don't you CAN fix it, clear communication is the key.
Sure, sex is not everything, but physical intimacy is VERY important for a healthy relationship.
If my partner didn't want to have sex with me, I would be extremely mad. I would take it to mean that they don't love me or find me desirable (or rather that they are retarded, since I know I', desirable), either way, it wouldn't last.
You don't have to always want sex, but not wanting it at all is a sign of some issue that needs to be overcome. Sex should be a thing to look FORWARD to! It should be WONDERFUL and a thing that brings you both closer together.
There is no reason your boyfriend can't make you feel as safe and as loved as he already does WHILE he is having sex with you.
Please, do try to enjoy yourself more and find out how you can make it better, no one deserves to miss out on awesome pleasurable sex, it shouldn't be a chore for you.
I hope you work it out soon. <3
2007-11-05 00:32:38 · answer #7 · answered by myleslr 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
That's something I just don't understand...why is it that everyone assumes that love means that you must have sex with someone every time they ask for it? Yes, if you love someone you will probably have sex...but there should be more to a relationship then just sex! What's wrong with laying in each others' arms, or watching a movie together, or even going out and playing basketball or something! A relationship shouldn't revolve around sex...it should revolve around loving each other in all aspects. Given...sex is good...don't get me wrong there...but if you/he is in the relationship just for that...then there is something wrong.
I'm not sure if that answers your question or not...or maybe I'm just rambling.
2007-11-05 00:31:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Just don't do anything and the problem will eventually go away. Of course so will your boyfriend but you couldn't be too concerned about that or else you'd be having sex with him.
2007-11-05 00:54:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are not ready to have sex. Stop guilting yourself into doing something you are not comfortable with. You should have sex with someone when you are totally comfortable with the idea. Whether tit is when you are in love or on your wedding night is up to you. There is nothing wrong with your relationship if you decide you are not ready. America makes us think that having sex young is normal and if you don't you are a freak. Don't listen to what anyone else tells you (even him). Do it when you are totally ready. Not before.
2007-11-05 00:32:02 · answer #10 · answered by Kima 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your only 24 and your feeling like this? It's not you it's your boyfriend, you are just not attracted to him in a sexual way,he's more like your best pal which is fine if you've been married for 15 years and you've had kids!
Please don't waste your 20's in a relationship that's run it's course
I was doing exactly the same with my husband "doing it" because I had to , made me feel sick in the end and by meeting someone else who just by talking to me gave me goose pimples I knew what was wrong, I thought it was me and my drive had gone well it wasn't!
2013-12-06 13:51:48 · answer #11 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋