progress, it hasn't been much. He's only takn me on a date 4 x (most of which I had to ask), walks ahead of me, & usually doesn't hold my hand. He refuses to hold hands during prayer @ church, and won't even let me kiss him. When he's w/ his buddies, nearly ignores me instead of putting his arm around me or something. Once or 2x, I went to sit next to him, & instead of welcoming me, he said, "There's another chair right there!" He never says, "hey, I'd like to see you tonight. What time are you free?" Just "Are we hangin' out today?" or "Were you wanting to hang out, or no? The guys want to get together, is that ok?" He always asks my permission instead of making a decision indicating, "I love you & I'd like to see YOU." He is a very sweet, loving, sensitive guy with no clue. He's also 24, @ home, has a degree, but isn't really seeking a job. His MOM pays his bills (w his $) We really love each other, I know he cares, but no matter WHAT I say, he just doesn't get it, & I feel slighted
2007-11-05 00:00:25 · 10 answers · asked by ellenoid 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I didn't have room to say everything. He really IS sweet & sensitive, just not in certain ways. He always sends me cute little text messages throughout the day, calls on his lunch break, and sees me usually as often as he can. It's just that I would like him to say, "Hey, I'd really LIKE to see you. What time are you free tonight?" He's very nonchalant, which is his personality. He tells me often that he loves me, and when we are alone together, he's usually great. Very affectionate and cuddly. It's when we're in public that he's wierd. Not ALL the time, but enough to make me wonder... He's like a 12 year old in these ways. But he's a great communicator, he listens well, never yells or gets angry with me... and really does try... He knows his faults, and tries to work on them. It's just that he doesn't GET it. I feel like I'm one of his buddies... just "one of the guys" with breasts. I promise he's not a COMPLELTE loser, or I wouldn't be with him. It's obvious that he cares for me...
2007-11-05 00:20:39 · update #1
He took me out for my birthday, and the other day, for no reason bought me a care bear... ;) he's been doing cutsie things like that. So he really isn't THAT bad. Just DENSE. He'll do better for a while, but it seems that he's just selfish in an immature way. He thinks about what he wants right now, rather than thinking about the future. Is there any hope? I know you shouldn't try to "change" a person, but when you aren't really talking about their personality, just "growing up," that's a good change. Is it possible that he WILL "grow up" and realize, "Oh, yeah! DUH!" or is this something that will never come naturally to him? (You know, treating me, walking at my stride, reaching for my hand, showing he's aware of my presence when with his buddies.) He still treats this like a "baby" realtionship. Maybe he just needs some time. Everyone develops at his own pace. IS there hope, or do you think this is a personality thing that will NOT change??
2007-11-05 00:26:18 · update #2
You describe someone who is not sweet and sensitive then say he is. Maybe we are not hearing everything. The number one rule is that you cna't change people. If he is fine for you the way he is then the relationship wlll work. If he is not right for you and you want to change things then you are wasting your time. Move on.
2007-11-05 00:07:55 · answer #1 · answered by Gone fishin' 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just immature. Guys do take awhile longer to mature. He is completely oblivious to how you feel no matter how much you tell him, he still won't get it. Guys are more visual than us. They need to see things to really understand a situation. Try not to be so available to him. Make time for yourself to hang out with your friends, ignore him alittle bit. See how he reacts to that. Instead of sitting next to him in church sit like a pew or two ahead of him so that he can see you. Do this more then twice. If after church he asks "Why didn't you sit next to me?" , you will know that he cares if he doesn't then you know what's up. And last but not least he is a total mama's boy. Good luck with that, mama's boys tend to think that women are around to cater to their needs not vice versa. He expects women to be around on his terms. You should dump him in my opinion instead of wasting more time. I've been there done that and have so totally moved on. You will never change a mamas boy.
2007-11-05 00:46:43 · answer #2 · answered by luxemomny 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he's sweet and loving... but...He refuses to hold hands during prayer @ church, and won't even let me kiss him. When he's w/ his buddies, nearly ignores me instead of putting his arm around me or something. i don't understand how is this sweet and loving?
But anyway he needs to Do things on his own to get a "clue" you shouldn't have to initiate common situations he needs to MAN up!
If theis drives you crazy and he isn't changign you need to move on and if he stays at home and doesn nothing 4 himself he will always b a Momma's boy
2007-11-05 00:07:35 · answer #3 · answered by ~Niecee~ âË» âË» ♂ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a complete cock.
Ditch him immediately. You can do better. It'll only go downhill from here if you stay with him. He is not a sensitive and loving guy - re-read your own post!
Obviously you're going to ignore this because you love him, but in another year when it's all gone nasty, remember the advice people have given you here and get out.
2007-11-05 00:04:38 · answer #4 · answered by Bob R 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't put up with that for too long. I'd also date someone who doesn't depend on their MOM. The reason he doesn't interact with you in public or around his friends is because he is EMBARRASSED. He might be afraid of opening up around people and getting teased by his friends or something, or he might be ashamed of you. He sounds like a weakling to me.
You can do better, frankly.
2007-11-05 00:05:26 · answer #5 · answered by myleslr 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
his behavior will not change - not after dating another two years, not after getting married, not after having kids - I repeat, his behavior will not change
so, decide now - can I live like this for at least the next 40 years? If not, now is the time to end it and move on.
2007-11-05 00:05:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry. He's not your boyfriend. You're just a girl he's casually seeing when he feels like it. I think you need to have one last talk with him. Explain to him what you're looking for in a relationship. If he can't meet your needs, then find someone who can.
2007-11-05 00:07:18 · answer #7 · answered by Erin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Run like the wind, he's a loser and won't change
2007-11-05 00:51:25 · answer #8 · answered by gary36330 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously you are clueless; this boy does not like you. or something is extremely ****** up with him.
2007-11-05 00:05:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
man.........dump that fool
2007-11-05 00:04:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋