Jokes & Riddles - April 2007

2007-04-02 16:04:50 · 23 answers · asked by jump start 1

i have a couple: how do u drown a blonde?
put a mirror at the bottom of a pool.

2 blondes r sitting in the park on a bench. blonde #1 is reading a magazine and blonde #2 is staring at the moon in the sky(its daytime). blonde #2 says, "which is further, Florida, or the moon?" blonde #1 looks up from her magazine and says, "HellO!!!!!!!!!!!! can u SEE Florida?" rate my current ones and give me more plzz!! thnx!! :)

2007-04-02 14:37:02 · 15 answers · asked by miss_bi_chica 2

Roll up a sheet of paper "hot dog style. Hold the tube of paper between your right hands thumb and pointer finger. Place you left hand about three-fourths down the tube. Now look through the tube with both eyes open, it looks like there's a hole in your hand. Can anyone tell me what part of your body this tricks, like is it your eye or brain or something like that.
I would really appriate answers.

2007-04-02 14:36:28 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

You know, just to get things going.

2007-04-02 13:56:31 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

i put the bone in zamboni...what does that mean??

if u know it..please just say it

2007-04-02 13:47:57 · 15 answers · asked by ~♥~ 1

a woman worries about the future until she gets a husband
a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife

2007-04-02 13:37:04 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

a successful man is one who can make more money than his wife can spend,
a successful woman is one who can find such a man

2007-04-02 13:34:51 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-04-02 13:25:06 · 6 answers · asked by Jaroo 4

2007-04-02 12:40:23 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Fannee Doolee likes steel, but she doesn't like metal.Fannee Doolee likes stucco, but she doesn't like plaster.Fannee Doolee Likes Glass, but she doesnt like Windows.Why do you think that is?

2007-04-02 12:31:16 · 8 answers · asked by ninqi516 1

2007-04-02 12:21:48 · 12 answers · asked by acfahmy 7

what are them cowboy doors called? they swing both ways

2007-04-02 12:06:17 · 17 answers · asked by BOB 1

Two doctors opened an office in a small town and put up a sign reading "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology."

The town council was not happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to "Hysterias and Posteriors."

This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council they changed the sign to "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids." No go.

Next, they tried "Catatonics and High Colonics." Thumbs down again.

Then came "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives." Still not good.

Another attempt resulted in "Minds and Behinds." Unacceptable again.

So they tried "Lost Souls and Ass Holes." No way.

"Analysis and Anal Cysts?" Nope.

"Nuts and Butts?" Uh-uh.

"Freaks and Cheeks?" Still no go.

"Loons and Moons?" Forget it.

Almost at their wit's end, the doctors finally came up with: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends." The town council loved it, and finally everybody was happy.

2007-04-02 11:56:09 · 9 answers · asked by Sangy . 4

What the heck does he say? Nothin' says lovin'......

2007-04-02 11:39:33 · 12 answers · asked by Shelley D 1

A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital.
He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around
just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have
anything to do with him.

The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came
into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature."

After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down,
crossed his arms and opened his mouth. "No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated,
"but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer."

This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over
and bared his behind. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he
heard her announce, " I have to get something. Now you stay JUST
LIKE THAT until I get back!"

She leaves the door to his room open on her way out! He curses
under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing.
After a half hour, the man's doctor comes into the room. "What's
going on here?" asked the doctor.

Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever
seen someone having their temperature taken?"

After a pause, the doctor confesses, "Not with a carnation".

2007-04-02 11:27:24 · 13 answers · asked by ? 2

After living in the remote wilderness of Kentucky all his life, an old hillbilly decided it was time to visit the big city.

In one of the stores he picks up a mirror and looks in it. Not ever having seen one before, he remarked at the image staring back at him, "How about that! Here's a picture of my dear daddy."

He bought the 'picture', but on the way home he remembered his wife didn't like his father none. So he hung it in the barn, and every morning before leaving for the fields, he would go there and look at it.

His wife began to get suspicious of these many trips to the barn. One day after her husband left, she searched the barn and found the mirror.

As she looked into the glass, she fumed, "So that's the ugly ***** he's runnin' around with."

2007-04-02 11:26:18 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-04-02 11:14:09 · 12 answers · asked by Rose R 1

Grandmas House
>> Little Johnny was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while
when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when two people are sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?"
>> >>>
She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."
Little Johnny just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to talk and play with the other kids.
>> >>>
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,
"Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It's called bunk
beds.... and Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you.
>>

2007-04-02 10:11:25 · 14 answers · asked by Winter is here !!! 3

our 2 guy friends are always pranking us, and most often they toilet paper our house!!

but tongiht me and my girlfriends both CAUGHT both guys who keep pranking us like this!!

We have them captured here and totally helpless,

how can we send them home 2 blocks embarrassed the MOST???

2007-04-02 09:38:34 · 12 answers · asked by Edward 1

A father and his son ,jason were in a minor car accident.The father was rushed into one room in the hospital and the boy into another
.a doctor thought jason might need an operation on his broken wrist and brought in a surgeon.The surgeon shouted,"i can;t operate on him.he's my son!" how can this be?

2007-04-02 09:32:13 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

im doing an article for a school newspaper and i need some good short jokes like those old one that is like "how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?" like those or websites that i can find them in. Thannk You

2007-04-02 08:30:46 · 4 answers · asked by smplytffny 2

Whenever im called gay or somethin, i cant think of any comebacks, or any insult. I just dont have that creative comeback mind that a lot of people have. Is there a list on the internet that has like what insult, and then what to say? 10 pts to the best answer!!!

2007-04-02 08:12:13 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-04-02 08:04:00 · 8 answers · asked by lafbird 1

Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn't it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, "It's gonna be worth it!"

2007-04-02 06:25:54 · 10 answers · asked by Giggly Giraffe 7

Does anyone have a story about a really funny (not mean) April Fool's Joke they pulled, or had pulled on them? Could be anytime in the past, not just yesterday.

2007-04-02 06:16:45 · 4 answers · asked by Ken K 2

2's day my friend was over my house we played a game called god of war he put his pizza slice by my coin collections and where i keep my gold kneclaces then later he went to walmart and met my gf who slpaed him when she seen a goldkneclace on him but that one wasent mine and she knew it he got mad and gave it to her and she ave it to me and that was her plan alalong... who stole from who

2007-04-02 05:00:20 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

Patty o`cher
patio chair?

2007-04-02 04:58:47 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-04-02 04:55:06 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

Their fingers

2007-04-02 04:53:52 · 8 answers · asked by Baseball_Girl 3

C and Y

2007-04-02 04:53:06 · 8 answers · asked by Baseball_Girl 3