Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

No really, what came first. I really wanna know! I say the chicken.

2007-02-26 08:26:57 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

A doctor was driving his 3 year old daughter to nursery school. He had left his stethoscope on the back seat of the car and his daughter started to play with it. 'Be still my heart' thought the doctor, 'my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps'
Then the child spoke into the stethoscope "Welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order?"

2007-02-26 08:20:55 · 19 answers · asked by Kizzy_ 5

2007-02-26 08:16:01 · 12 answers · asked by schizo 1

2007-02-26 08:14:53 · 13 answers · asked by xbarbie_729x 1

its like how you know you spanish
like you probably know what el cuco is etc..

2007-02-26 08:12:32 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

for 10 minutes and then stands up, the chair will be warm???? Lol just wondering!!!!

2007-02-26 08:08:04 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-26 08:05:25 · 8 answers · asked by matc1970 2

i think it was real world where they were locked in the house and the guy said they were gonna kill them but it was a joke

2007-02-26 08:02:40 · 3 answers · asked by mikanifty5 1

I am looking for a funny joke to text message a girl I like. Question and answer jokes only please.

2007-02-26 07:55:57 · 6 answers · asked by Southpaw 2

there was a big turnip at his funeral

2007-02-26 07:55:44 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

the rat run across the train trac, and the train cut off part of his tail. he quickly turned around to get the missing part of his tail. then the train cut off his head...
what is the moral of the story?


"don't lose your head over a piece of tail"

2007-02-26 07:54:02 · 14 answers · asked by sweetooth 2

This elderly mother Superior belongs to Ireland was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfort during her last journey and gave her warm milk to drink but she refused to drink.
Seeing it one of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the last Christmas, she opened and poured a good amount into the warm milk.
Reaching back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more and within no time she drunk the whole glass of milk.
The nuns around asked her with respect, "Mother,please give us some wisdom before you die." She raised herself up in bed and with a pious look on her face said, "Never sell that cow”.

2007-02-26 07:48:00 · 39 answers · asked by Pd 6

What occurs twice in a week, once in a year, and no times in a day.

2007-02-26 07:34:02 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

tell me if you've heard this before...

(person 1), "Pete and Repeat walked into a room. Pete walked out. Who was left?"

(person 2), "Repeat."

(person 1), "Pete and Repeat walked into a room. Pete walked out. Who was left?"

(person 2), "Repeat."

and so on....

i'm bored. who's got good jokes they can tell?

2007-02-26 07:33:33 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

if ur being chased by a rapid elephant and u come to a house in the hose there r 3 doors that u can escape through
the first door: a room with bandits with loaded guns
the second door: a room with lions that haven't eaten in 3 months
the third door: poisonious snakes
what door would u chose and y

2007-02-26 07:28:29 · 16 answers · asked by **** 1

Who said men don't have a sensitive side?

A woman meets a good looking guy in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together.

They get back to his place, and as he shows her around, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears.

Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall.

The woman is surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears,especially one that is so extensive, but she decides not to mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.

She turns to him....they kiss....and then rip each other's clothes off and make mad passionate love.

After a night of passion with this sensitive guy,as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and asks, smiling,"Well, how was it?"

"Help yourself to any prize from the bottom shelf"

2007-02-26 07:26:51 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous

Because hes got little legs!!!

2007-02-26 07:24:49 · 18 answers · asked by Kaz 1

They are as follows:
-Those who can do math
-Those who can't

2007-02-26 07:02:03 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

First correct answer gets ten points

2007-02-26 06:50:39 · 3 answers · asked by Ashley 3

First correct answer gets ten points

2007-02-26 06:49:21 · 2 answers · asked by Ashley 3

You go on ahead, I'll give these two a lift.

2007-02-26 06:45:57 · 37 answers · asked by Athene1710 4

Little Johnny sat playing in the garden. His mother came out to collect him, she saw that he was slowly eating a worm. She turned pale, "No, Johnny! stop! Thats horrible! You can't eat worms!" Trying to convince him further, "Now the mother worm is looking all over for her nice baby-worm." "No she is'nt," said Johnny "because I ate her first!"

2007-02-26 06:44:54 · 15 answers · asked by Kizzy_ 5

A man pushes a car in front of a hotel, stops and pays the owner, then continues to push the car. whats going on?

2007-02-26 06:41:10 · 6 answers · asked by Lenneth's true challenge 4

A young man parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues. As he's getting out of the car, a truck comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door before speeding away.
More than a little distraught the man grabs his mobile and calls the police. Five minutes later the police arrive. Before the policeman has a chance to ask any questions the man starts screaming hysterically, "My Porsche, my beautiful black Porsche is ruined. No matter how long at the panel beaters it'll never be the same again!"
After the man finally finishes his rant the policeman shakes his head in disgust, "I can't believe how bloody materialistic young people are these days," he says. "You are so focused on your possessions that you don't notice anything else in your life."
"How can you say such a thing at a time like this?" snaps the man.
The policeman replies, "Didn't you realise that your right arm was torn off when the truck hit you?"
The man looks down in absolute horror, "I don’t believe this," he screams. "Where's my Rolex?"

2007-02-26 06:39:07 · 14 answers · asked by Cowboy 4

What is the bird of war? "eagle"
What is the bird of wisdom? "owl"
What is the bird of love?.....

2007-02-26 06:38:13 · 19 answers · asked by sweetooth 2

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

Friends are like bras: Close to your heart and there for support.

Janeane Garofalo: I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of
things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut
my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Mae West: I speak 2 languages, Body and English.

Chauncey Depew: Apessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An
optimist is one who hopes they are.

There are three kinds of people - Those who can count and those who
can't.

Walter Matthau: My doctor gave me 6 months to live, but when I
couldn't pay the bill he gave me another 6 months more.

A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in
front of the computer.

So, take note my frens... hehehe... n i hope ur'll had a gd laugh out

2007-02-26 06:22:48 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

People hate me. They're embarrassed to be seen in public with me. I don't give them a healthy level of self-esteem. The only people who aren't bothered by me are babies.

What am I?

2007-02-26 06:10:44 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

give ur possible thought

2007-02-26 06:09:03 · 12 answers · asked by sanobar 1

I have influence over a lot of people's minds.
I grant people widespread fame pretty quickly.
I am always being improved.

What am I?

2007-02-26 06:05:35 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-26 06:05:33 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous