Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

I can be cool, but I can't be cold,
I can be sorry, but I can't be guilty,
I can be spooked, but I can't be scared,
I can be sweet, but I can't be friendly,
I can be flammable, but I can't burn.
What am I?

2007-02-26 09:46:40 · 17 answers · asked by swags92 1

1) a box with no key, hinge,or a lid. but inside a golden treasure is hid.. what is it?

2)what has 4 legs in the morning: 2 legs at noon: and 3 legs in the evening tell me soon..
what am i?

3)30 white horses upon a red hill, first they chomp, then they stomp, and then they stand still... What are they?

4) What's greater then God, more evil then the Devil, the poor have it, the rich want it, and if you eat it you'll die...

2007-02-26 09:46:14 · 9 answers · asked by sweetooth 2

All men want this, and are willing to fight for it. But, in fighting for it, lose it. What is it?

What gets whiter the dirtier that it gets?

As I was going down the lane,
I met a man doing the same.
He tipped his hat and drew his cane,
And in this riddle I have told you his name. What is it?

2007-02-26 09:44:01 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

a man decides to walk thru a town that has 100 streets. the first street is name 1st street, the second one is called 2nd street and so forth but try as he might he can't find 62nd street. why.




















































































































cuz 62nd street is called Minute street. sixty seconds equal a minute.

2007-02-26 09:43:46 · 4 answers · asked by harmony 4

They thought the price for the room was $30, so they each gave $10. The actual price was $25. The girl at the front desk goes to their room to give them the change. To be "fair"...she gives each one of the men $1, and she stays with $2. So...how much does each man spend? $10-$1=$9. So they spend $27 together. The girl keeps $2. $27+2=$29....so what happened to the other dollar?

2007-02-26 09:40:20 · 12 answers · asked by Me 2

its by unk

2007-02-26 09:37:32 · 9 answers · asked by chica 2

2007-02-26 09:37:20 · 1 answers · asked by sadie 2

The answer to Who's picture am I looking at?.
Brothers and sisters I have none but that mans father is my fathers son.
Was given as YOURSELF

Does anyone agree with me that this is an incorrect answer?

2007-02-26 09:35:44 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news, she said, "Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged. Since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself
in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him.
I am so sorry, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."

2007-02-26 09:33:46 · 29 answers · asked by Shy Ted 3

What is the name of the Ultimate Behemoth's satellite?
Who is Homer Simpson's brother?
What alias "last name" does Apu go under when he joins the Be-Sharpes?
Who was kicked out of the Be-Sharpes and replaced by Barney?
Who is Marge's art teacher?
Fill in the blanks: SMILIN' _______ ______.
Who is Dr. Vladimir Krabokov?
Who is Radioactive Man's sidekick?
AKA Rainer Wolfcastle.
What is Bart's big brother's name?
Who conned Springfield into buying a monorail?
Who replaced Sideshow Bob?
Who is Gabbo's puppeteer?
Who is the music teacher at Springfield Elementary?
What was the happiest day of Ralph's life?
"Thanks for the fab picture Marge, I hung it on me wall." Who said it?
Who was Marge's bowling teacher?
"It's the soul mass transit system." Who said it?
What insect stars on Channel Ocho?
Who is Ned Flanders' wife?
What is the name of Flanders' store?
Sole proprietor of "I can't believe its a law firm".
Who was the substitute teacher Lisa fel

2007-02-26 09:32:24 · 10 answers · asked by raymond f 1

paddy and mick walking past job centre,paddy notices a sign in the window "tree fellas wanted apply within" mick turns to paddy an says"pity theres only two of us

2007-02-26 09:29:47 · 6 answers · asked by bullseye 1

atnrtlakes

Its an animal

2007-02-26 09:27:29 · 37 answers · asked by Shorty 4

For Lexophiles:-(Lovers of Words)

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
A backward poet writes inverse.
A will is a dead giveaway

Keep smilin'.

2007-02-26 09:23:47 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-26 09:17:02 · 9 answers · asked by Ali 2

2007-02-26 09:16:01 · 3 answers · asked by Ali 2

If the GREEN BAY PACKERS are called the PACK and the TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS are called the BUCS ,then what do you call the TENESSEE TITANS?

2007-02-26 09:13:46 · 7 answers · asked by angela s 4

2007-02-26 09:10:02 · 9 answers · asked by Ali 2

2007-02-26 09:07:48 · 15 answers · asked by Ali 2

Your Momma is Soooo Dumb she tried putting Instant Coffee in the Microwave to see if she could go back in time :-)

2007-02-26 09:01:07 · 23 answers · asked by D B 4

A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?" The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."
Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, "I thought Barbie comes with Ken."

"No," said the little girl. "She comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken."

2007-02-26 08:59:14 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

Should I make them untie him, or should I let them keep him for another day or two?

2007-02-26 08:56:58 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

goverment have granted Manchester a supercasino-they will have roulette,black jack and kalooki-but they said they will leave the crap games at Upton Park.!!

2007-02-26 08:56:56 · 7 answers · asked by SUZANNE R 7

2007-02-26 08:55:37 · 36 answers · asked by hollyhocks21164 1

what is the silliest thing anyone has ever said to you ? well my friend and i were walking into town today,we came across roadworks,i said to my friend "i think they must be widening the road"she repied no my dad says they narrowing the pavement" ha ha ha i have laughed all day

2007-02-26 08:55:26 · 7 answers · asked by bullseye 1

Aer Lingus flight is approaching London Heathrow. The air traffic controller asks, "Aer Lingus 99, what's your height and position?".

The pilot answers, "I'm five foot six and I'm sittin' up at the front".

2007-02-26 08:55:20 · 10 answers · asked by lesroys 6

2007-02-26 08:43:00 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

okay heres my argument.Bacon can't breathe,planes can' breathe,planes can fly,bacon can't.is that fair?shouldn't bacon have an engine attached to transport people too and fro.i think so.maybe idiotic passengers would eat their surroundings but people in the right mind would love the conveinience of a giant piece of bacon coming down the runway with the sweet smell of can't eat it but a vacation is nice aroma.what do you think?

2007-02-26 08:42:12 · 4 answers · asked by matchbox202006 4

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit lived in the same forest, but they didn't like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, and they came across a golden frog. They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn't often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes, so he told them that they could have three wishes each.
Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head.
Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit's wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine.
Mr. Bear could not believe it and complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himself. Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world. The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish.
Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said, “I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!” and rode off as fast as he could.

2007-02-26 08:39:35 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde came across a pyramid. At the bottom was a tablet which read 'This is the pyramid of 100 steps, if you get to the top of it you will get what you wished for all your life, but be warned, on every 5th step, someone will pop out and tell you a joke, if you laugh you fail and can never try again!'
The brunette gets to the 5th step and laughs, so she cannot try again.
The redhead gets to the 20th step and laughs, so she can never try again.
The blonde gets all the way to the 99th step and then laughs, the person about to tell the joke asks "Why did you laugh? I have'nt even told the joke yet!" The blonde said "I know, I just got the 1st joke!"

2007-02-26 08:34:31 · 14 answers · asked by Kizzy_ 5

2007-02-26 08:28:54 · 9 answers · asked by Ali 2