Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

The waiter/waitress asks Mrs Thatcher:"What will you have?".Thatcher replies:"WE shall have meat,dripping with blood".The waiter/tress asks:"What about the vegetables?"
Thatcher replies:"They'll have the same!"

2007-02-26 15:51:39 · 5 answers · asked by christian b 3

2007-02-26 15:47:43 · 15 answers · asked by iofagbems 2

It's for a science project

2007-02-26 15:44:28 · 6 answers · asked by Toilet 2

2007-02-26 15:42:55 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

I turn polar bears whiteand I will make you cry.I make guys have to peeand girls comb their hair.I make celebrities look stupidand normal people look like celebrities.I turn pancakes brownand make your champane bubble.If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.If you look at me, you'll pop.Can you guess the riddle?

2007-02-26 15:42:55 · 7 answers · asked by James G 3

This is hard!! First one to guess correctly gets 10 points!! Be ABSOLUTELY SURE about your answer!!

1. At least one of these ten statements is false.
2. At least two of these ten statements are false.
3. At least three of these ten statements are false.
4. At least four of these ten statements are false.
5. At least five of these ten statements are false.
6. At least six of these ten statements are false.
7. At least seven of these ten statements are false.
8. At least eight of these ten statements are false.
9. At least nine of these ten statements are false.
10. At least ten of these ten statements are false.

2007-02-26 15:42:11 · 13 answers · asked by ~♫music♥girl♫~ I♥you 3

2007-02-26 15:41:30 · 12 answers · asked by Edward T 1

a guy was stuck in the middle of the ocean and he was praying to god to save him so a boat comes by and says come here ill save u the guy says back no its ok god will save me so the boat goes on later on another boat comes and says come here ill save u hes says its ok god will save me another boat comes and says come here ill save u he says its ok god will save me so the guys drowns and he goes to heaven and askes god why didnt u save me god says i sent three boats for u

2007-02-26 15:28:35 · 7 answers · asked by jazz 2

O, T, T, F, F, S, S, E, N, ?

What is the pattern and what is the "?"

2007-02-26 15:19:37 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Girls have unique magic! They get wet without water, bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard.

2007-02-26 15:07:25 · 8 answers · asked by Stinging Dragon 4

2007-02-26 14:59:23 · 15 answers · asked by funnygirl 4

Four guys,1 white, 1 black, 1 asian, & 1 mexican
were all going skydiving. After they had taken off & were in the air, the plane went into turbulance, they checked on the pilot, only to see he had a heart attack & died, Worse, the plane was leaking fuel & no one knew how to fly the plane, & there was only 1 parachute.
The guys decided to draw straws to see who would get the parachute, on the first draw, the asian lost, he got up, walked to the door of the plane, Jumped out & as he fell to his death, he yelled out: "For my people!"
On the next draw, The mexican lost, he went to the door, Jumped, & Yelled:, "For my people!"
On the Third & final draw, the black guy ended up losing, he then said: "Well, you gotta go sometime." As he walked to the door he looked out, & shouted to the white guy "Hey, you gotta see this, there's some naked girls skydiving" The white guy ran to the door, & the black guy pushed him out, as the white guy fell, the black guy
shouted "For MY people!!

2007-02-26 14:59:21 · 21 answers · asked by Lorenzo A 2

I know its the wrong section, but this way i will have more answers!(possibly)

Why r u aethist? I am 1 too! Do u celebrate christmas for fun like i do?

2007-02-26 14:57:37 · 4 answers · asked by STrawberry 3

you have 2 coins that = 30 cents one is not a nickel what are the coins? first to get it right gets 10 points

2007-02-26 14:46:06 · 10 answers · asked by bwaaaare 3

I couldnt figure it out and my friends are counting on me to tell them tmro at school...HELP! oh and it was an email so anyspelling mistakes r not my fault


The World's Hardest Riddle
I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry
I make guys look cute
and girls comb their hair
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane
bubble
If you sqeeze me, I'll pop
If you look at me, you'll pop
can you guess the
riddle?
97% of Harvard graduates can not figure this riddle out, but
of
kindergarten
students were able to figure this out in 6 minutes or less.
Can you guess
the correct answer? Good luck

2007-02-26 14:38:32 · 13 answers · asked by kurzez_incokerated 3

why did they write a stupid song?

2007-02-26 14:34:20 · 9 answers · asked by Jen 3

1
11
21
1211
111221
312211
X
1113213211
31131211131221
X

2007-02-26 14:10:11 · 5 answers · asked by cbay8882 2

a taxi cab driver is going down a one way street the wrong way. A cop drives past him and doesnt even care. why?

2007-02-26 14:04:06 · 11 answers · asked by bigdonut72 4

2007-02-26 14:02:02 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

If a plane crashes on the border of Australia and New Zealand, where would you bury the survivors?

2007-02-26 13:58:52 · 22 answers · asked by Ace 5

Inside a giant peach OR in a giant shoe.

2007-02-26 13:52:18 · 30 answers · asked by free_spirit5230 2

7 men were going to a funeral in a car they got to a point were they had to walk, when they got out of the car it started raining when they got to the funeral only six guys got wet why?

2007-02-26 13:51:03 · 26 answers · asked by Pirate65 2

what does it mean??

like:

57-H.V. is 57 Heinz Varieties
18= H. on a G.C. is 18 Holes on a Golf Course

what is 25-N.of Q. on T.?

2007-02-26 13:41:43 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

Today he is there to trip you up,
And he will torture you tomorrow.
Yet he is also there to ease the pain,
When you are lost in grief and sorrow.
What is he?




answer given in two hours..

2007-02-26 13:38:16 · 15 answers · asked by conan 4

2007-02-26 13:30:32 · 14 answers · asked by heynow 3

What did I do?

2007-02-26 13:28:49 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

1. Never take a front-row seat at a bris.

2. If you can't say something nice, say it in Yiddish.

3. The High Holidays have nothing to do with marijuana.

4. And what's wrong with dry turkey?

5. A good kugel sinks in mercury.

6. Pork is forbidden, but a pig in a blanket makes a nice horsd'oeuvre.

7. Always whisper the names of diseases.

8. One mitzvah can change the world; two will just make you tired.

9. Never leave a restaurant empty-handed.

10. The important Jewish holidays are the ones on which alternate-side-of-the-street parking is suspended.

11. A bad matzoh ball makes a good paperweight.

12. Without Jewish mothers, who would need therapy?

13. If you are going to whisper at the movies, make sure it's loud enough for everyone else to hear.

14. No meal is complete without leftovers.

15. If you have to ask the price, you can't afford it. But if you can afford it, make sure you tell everybody what you paid.

16. The only good thing more important than a good education is a good parking spot at the mall.

17. It's not whom you know, it's whom you know that had a nose job.

18. After the destruction of the Second Temple, God created Neiman-Marcus.

19. WASPs leave and never say good-bye. Jews say good-bye and never leave.

20. Israel is the land of milk and honey; Florida is the land of milk of magnesia.

21. If you don't eat it, it will kill me.

22. Anything worth saying is worth repeating a thousand times.

23. Next year in Jerusalem, the year after, how about a nice cruise?

24. Spring ahead, fall back, winter in Miami.

25. Laugh now, but one day you'll be driving a big Cadillac and eating dinner at four in the afternoon.

Did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee? Yup, it's in the Bible. It says "Hebrews!"

2007-02-26 13:24:41 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

A EF HI KLMN T VWXYZ
BCD G J OPQRS U


What's the difference between the top line of letters, and the lower line?

2007-02-26 13:21:33 · 12 answers · asked by Sexy C 3

Whats the funniest, cleanest, lough-out-loud-spill your milk joke you know?

2007-02-26 13:14:50 · 14 answers · asked by skinny piggy 3

who da u think should be new cheif of surgery????

2007-02-26 13:14:50 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous