Jokes & Riddles - February 2007

Mrs. Bacciagalupe comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. Anthony lives with a female roommate, Maria.

During the course of the meal, Mama can''t help but notice how pretty Anthony''s roommate was. She had long been suspicious of the relationship between the two, and this made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than meets the eye.

Reading his Mom''s thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Mama, Maria and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Maria comes to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I''ve been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don''t suppose she took it, do you?"

Well, I doubt it, but I''ll e-mail her, just to be sure." So he sends his Mom an email:

"Dear Momma, I''m not saying that you took the sugar bowl from my house, and I''m not saying that you didn''t take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love,

Anthony"



Several days later, Anthony receives an email response from his Momma.

"Figlio mio, I''m not saying that you ''do'' sleep with Maria, and I''m not saying that you ''do not'' sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

Love, Momma"

2007-02-27 18:29:10 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Attention: jfmm the top answerer of jokes and riddles has cheated her way to the top?
Check her best answers. most of them have been voted best, either 1 vote or 2 votes.

Please dont go by the answer chosen best by the asker because 70 percent of her answers is voted best by herself

she always wins by oe vote, howwzat?

Take some time to check it out



Yes i got my account deleted because i voted for some of my own answers. Now i am here to get back at everyone who does the same

2007-02-27 18:27:57 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am found on every playground.
I am found in every office building
I am long... but also short
I am fat but sometimes skinny
I make dogs bark
And fat people cry
You can place a bet on me
I have more numbers than a phone book
I am lighter than a feather... but i have enough strength to kill a black bear..
Colleges despise me and preschoolers love me...

What am I?

2007-02-27 18:19:45 · 8 answers · asked by Rishi 3

2007-02-27 18:14:16 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

My coworkers are crackin jokes and I need some good ones that are somewhat short but Hilariasssssss.

2007-02-27 18:11:59 · 9 answers · asked by fastfreedombailbonds 4

P = Pilot M = Maintenance


P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
M: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
M: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
M: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
M: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
M: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
M: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
M: That's what friction locks are for

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
M: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
M: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Target radar hums.
M: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
M: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
M: Took hammer away from midget.

2007-02-27 17:51:36 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

how many sisters have i got?

"I've got ten or more sisters"

"i've got less than ten sisters"

"I've got at least one sister"

2007-02-27 17:32:32 · 17 answers · asked by natalia 4

Lighten up! It was a joke! And I left the ending up to you! Don't be on this section of Yahoo! Answers if you don't have a sense of humour.

2007-02-27 17:24:14 · 17 answers · asked by Free Ranger 4

i am something u try your hardest to obtain, but once you get me u throw me away. what am i?

2007-02-27 17:21:24 · 18 answers · asked by Nanook~Maybe I need a longer Name?~ 6

The man and wife have Breakfast together on their 50th anniversary, and the wife says to hubbie....
"My breasts feel all warm and tingly, just like on our first anniversary!''
And the hubbie replies.......
"They should, because one is hanging in your coffee and the other one is in your oatmeal!"

2007-02-27 17:16:47 · 9 answers · asked by Miklo 3

2007-02-27 17:14:27 · 5 answers · asked by phantom stranger 3

if three guys went to a hotel and eachone of them paied 10$ for the room? that would be equal to 30$... then the room wasnt that much so the hotel returned 5$ by the busboy... so he took 2$ and gave the guys 3$ that would be 1$ for each... so each one paied 9$ ... here the total would be 9*3=27$+2=29$ (not30$) so where does the 1$ go?

2007-02-27 17:09:31 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Peter comes home from work and sees his lover paul doubled over in pain on the couch
he says....whats wrong paul??
he says, my insides are aching peter, could you reach up there and see whats wrong??
ok paul
he reaches all the way up to his wrist and says....i dont feel anything paulie!
oh please, my ars is achy! just a little farther peta!
so he reaches up to his elbow.
nothing.
oh please, my ars is on fire, just a little farther peta!
so he reaches up to his shoulder.......
Wait i feel something paulie!
He pulls out his hand and says......
Oh nmy god its a rolex watch paulie! and paul says.....
Happy Birthday to you!

2007-02-27 17:08:01 · 5 answers · asked by Miklo 3

2007-02-27 16:54:07 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

A hooker can wash her crack and resell it!

2007-02-27 16:44:12 · 5 answers · asked by Miklo 3

in advance...lmao...;-)

2007-02-27 16:38:44 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

ten points for funny original raunchy jokes!

2007-02-27 16:35:07 · 7 answers · asked by Miklo 3

A black dog stands in the middle of an intersecton in a town painted black. None of the street lights are working due to a power failure caused by a storm. A car with two broken headlights drives towards the dog but turns in time to avoid hitting him. How could the driver have seen the dog in time

2007-02-27 16:33:12 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-27 16:29:29 · 7 answers · asked by ad_sessionrd 2

A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bustrip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why

2007-02-27 16:24:20 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-27 16:18:40 · 15 answers · asked by ad_sessionrd 2

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window

2007-02-27 16:06:48 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-27 15:59:02 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

ghost and a famous painting...?

2007-02-27 15:57:38 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-27 15:56:26 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-02-27 15:50:37 · 4 answers · asked by Sangy . 4

There are two identical twins in Iowa. Ones twenty years old and the other one is twenty two. Do you believe it?

2007-02-27 15:47:36 · 9 answers · asked by sungod 2

do you know how to spell that really long mary poppins song?? well then spell it

2007-02-27 15:33:02 · 11 answers · asked by quiksilverdude123 2

2007-02-27 15:20:24 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/

Have you ever played such a prank on anyone?

2007-02-27 15:20:21 · 6 answers · asked by DARMADAKO 4