Jokes & Riddles - January 2007

I think comedians shouldn't just say it for no reason, if white comedians say it and there's a reason behind it I'm ok with it. I'm ok with it as along as comedians say it witha purpose and not just blurt it out.

2007-01-01 09:40:06 · 7 answers · asked by googlebball 3

Mary Magdalene is about to be stoned.
the people around her be holding stones.
Jesus walks in front of Mary Magdalene and says the to the crowd,
'Thou without sin cast the first stone'.
everyone in the crowd drops thier stones.
Mary Magdalene, stands up and all of a sudden Jesus says, 'BOO YEAH!' and hits her with a stone.

2007-01-01 09:36:23 · 15 answers · asked by Christ Follower 3

picked up the frog, put it into his pocket, and went on his way.
A couple of minutes of walking later, the man heard a cry from inside his pocket, "help, help"! He took out the frog, looked at it, smiled, and put it back into his pocket.
Again, "help, help me, a wicked witch has turned me into a frog, kiss me and I'll turn into a beautiful princess". Again the man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and put it back again.
Moments later, "Help me, help me, a wicked witch has turned me into a frog, kiss me and I'll turn into a beautiful princess. I'll do_anything_if_ you_ help_ me, anything"! The man simply took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it, and put it back again!
The little green frog again screamed out "Help, I'm the most beautiful princess, if you kiss me and help me I'll do anything, marry you, sleep with you, give you money, ANYTHING." The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled and said "I'm a computer programmer; I work too much so a girlfriend or wife is of no use to me. But, a small talking green frog is cool."

2007-01-01 09:33:00 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-01 09:31:55 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man and woman are seated next to each other on a plane. After takeoff, the woman violently sneezes and excuses herself to go to the bathroom... so the man stands up to let her out.

She returns, and 15 minutes later she sneezes again big time, and again excuses herself to go to the bathroom.

She returns again, and immediately sneezes, excusing herself to go to the bathroom.

The man, a little tired of jumping up so often...asks her: "You keep sneezing, what's the problem?"

The woman replies: "I have a rare condition...every time I sneeze I have an orgasm."

He says, "Oh... what are you taking for it?"

She says: "Pepper."

2007-01-01 09:31:07 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous

With a baseball bat. Although i suspect it may have been a rounders bat...

2007-01-01 09:20:06 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

This elderly Italian guy goes to his parish priest and asked if he would hear his confession. The priest assured him that he would, and the two took up the customary positions on either side of the divider.

"Well, Father," began the old man, "At the beginning of World War II a beautiful Jewish woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. So I hid her in my attic, and they never found her."

"That's a wonderful thing," interjected the priest, "But it's certainly nothing you need to confess!" "It's gets worse Father," continued the elderly fellow, "I was weak and I told her that she had to repay me for hiding her, by providing me with sexual favors."

The priest contemplated this disclosure for a minute and then responded, "Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a very large risk. You would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her. I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil of your acts, and judge you kindly."

"Thank you Father," said the old man. "That's a load off my mind! Can I ask another question?"

"Of course, my son," said the priest.

The old man asked, "Do I have to tell her that the war is over?"

2007-01-01 09:20:02 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!"

She says, "Well put them here between my legs and that will warm them up."

After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says gain "Man! My hands are really freezing!"

She says again, "Well put them here between my legs and warm them up."

He does, and again that warms him up.

After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop wood for the night.

When he returns, he again says, "Honey, my hands are really freezing!"

She looks at him and says, "FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, DON'T YOUR EARS EVER GET COLD?"

2007-01-01 09:16:12 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-01 09:10:38 · 11 answers · asked by Stevekat 1

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

2007-01-01 09:06:16 · 2 answers · asked by miller_man 1

2007-01-01 09:02:51 · 19 answers · asked by Great Dane 4

george bush, tony blair and saddam hussein are in a plane. when suddenly the pilot panics and starts screaming that the engines have cut out and the pilot picks up a parachute and jumps out of the plane leaving only one parachute left. tony, saddam being a selfish man shouts "i am the most important and deserrve to live" and he graps the parachute and jumps out of the plane. "oh no" shouts tony " quick george pass me your phone" "i cant said george! saddam has taken my back pack"

2007-01-01 08:58:33 · 20 answers · asked by miller_man 1

Because It Chips their Teeth !

2007-01-01 08:43:17 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-01 08:36:47 · 44 answers · asked by le baron 2

who ever can answer these riddles all correct gets 12 points? how? well you get 2 for answering and ill choose you as best answer..while your reading this other people are answering so stop reading this and start answering!!





How many letters are in the alphabet?

If your sock drawer has 6 black socks, 4 brown socks, 8 white socks, and 2 tan socks, how many socks would you have to pull out in the dark to be sure you had a matching pair?





A farmer was going to town with a fox, a goose and a sack of corn. When he came to a stream, he had to cross in a tiny boat, and could only take across one thing at a time. However, if he left the fox alone with the goose, the fox would eat the goose, and if he left the goose alone with the corn, the goose would eat the corn. How does he get them all safely over the stream?




ok hurry!! go answer!

2007-01-01 08:34:19 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am walking through the woods and come to a pond slightly frozen, and it's 6 feet to the other side. Now, since you are a wizard in math, you calculate the ice can hold 160 pounds. You weighed yourself this morning and you weighed 159 pounds with your shoes on. Your clothes, though, weigh 5 pounds. You "must" get across. THINK BEFORE YOU ANSWER. How do you get across?

2007-01-01 08:26:44 · 14 answers · asked by R M 2

so many Smiths in the phone book ? Because they all have phones !!!! And what is the quickest way to make anti-freeze....hide her nightie !!!!

2007-01-01 08:25:46 · 3 answers · asked by Shredder 6

2007-01-01 08:25:14 · 19 answers · asked by Bru K 1

2007-01-01 08:23:53 · 16 answers · asked by ? 4

A PORK CHOP!! hahahahahaha

feel free to rate it 1-10 (with 10 being the best lol)



~HAPPY NEW YEAR!~

2007-01-01 08:23:17 · 17 answers · asked by Yanks4Life23519 7

the answer is normally "tomorrow", but i am lookin' 4 another one

2007-01-01 08:08:04 · 23 answers · asked by Eric H 4

2007-01-01 08:06:18 · 9 answers · asked by kile450 help i need 999 1

On the path she is on, she comes up to a rope bridge with a sign saying that the rope bridge can hold a maximum weight of 130 pounds, and that if any more weight is placed on the bridge it will collapse.

The girl knows her weight is 100 pounds, so she walks across the bridge carrying both gold bars, and the bridge does not break. How is this possible?

2007-01-01 08:02:22 · 8 answers · asked by john h 7

Would you have scales instead of skin or feet shaped like dinner plates? (is this stupid enough for ya?)

2007-01-01 07:39:48 · 53 answers · asked by Cindi 4

2007-01-01 07:28:16 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-01 07:27:20 · 7 answers · asked by penis sucker 1

2007-01-01 07:25:45 · 12 answers · asked by penis sucker 1

First Time

The sky was dark
The moon was high
All alone just she and I
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time ever







At milking a cow.....

2007-01-01 07:21:12 · 26 answers · asked by a m 4

1. How many letters are in the alphabet?
2. There are 10 birds sitting on a tree, i shot one of the bird.. How many birds remains on the tree?

4. A woman has 7 children, half of them are boys. How can this be possible?
5. A farmer and his hired help were carrying grain to the barn. The farmer carried one sack of grain and the hired help carried two sacks. Who carried the heavier load and WHY ??

2007-01-01 07:19:18 · 18 answers · asked by galrose 2

First Time

The sky was dark
The moon was high
All alone just she and I
Her hair was soft
Her eyes were blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
I started by placing
My hands on her breast
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart
And when I did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time ever


At milking a cow.....

2007-01-01 07:13:51 · 1 answers · asked by a m 4