Jokes & Riddles - January 2007

1. If you had only one match and you entered a room in which there was a kerosene lantern, a fireplace, and a wood burning stove, what would you light first?

2. Do the people living in England have a fourth of July?

3. How many animals of each species did Moses take aboard the ark with hm?

4. Some months have thirty days and some have thirty-one. How many months have twenty -eight days?

5. An electric train heads north at 80 miles an hour. The wind is blowing from the east at 20 miles an hour. In which direction will the smoke from the engine point?

6. How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?

7. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?

8. In the movie “The Lion King” all the animals show up at the meeting but one. Who did not show up?

9. How do you get the monkeys get across the river without getting eaten by the crocodile?

2007-01-01 17:12:49 · 11 answers · asked by Mr. Jeff - It is what it is ☺ 6

tell me i know he was cross the road but WHY?????

2007-01-01 16:52:28 · 8 answers · asked by JEFF HARDY #1 FAN 3

1) I cannot be felt, seen or touched;
Yet I can be found in everybody;
My existence is always in debate;
Yet I have my own style of music.
What Am I?

2). A woman shoots her husband.
Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes.
Finally, she hangs him.
But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together.
How can this be?

3) After teaching his class all about roman numerals (X = 10, IX=9 and so on) the teacher asked his class to draw a single continuous line and turn IX into 6. The only stipulation the teacher made was that the pen could not be lifted from the paper until the line was complete. How?

2007-01-01 16:46:05 · 31 answers · asked by axilaryguy 1

2007-01-01 16:44:41 · 19 answers · asked by DOMINATUS 3

2007-01-01 16:43:22 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an organization.

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.

Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.

When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, "Why the spoon?"

"Well, "he explained, "the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift."

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. "I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now."

I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, "Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?"

"Oh certainly!" Then he lowered his voice. "Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent.

I asked "After you get it out, how do you put it back?"

"Well," he whispered, "I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon."

2007-01-01 16:00:21 · 2 answers · asked by hhfe 2

2007-01-01 15:53:37 · 24 answers · asked by I hate carrots 6

2007-01-01 15:43:50 · 20 answers · asked by haha_haha_bonk 1

How do you sink a polish submarine?

2007-01-01 15:40:30 · 24 answers · asked by waterboy 1

2007-01-01 15:39:55 · 1 answers · asked by bob c 1

2007-01-01 15:32:11 · 16 answers · asked by Vanessa 1

2007-01-01 15:25:39 · 15 answers · asked by Justin 1

havent u ever wondered i do well l8ter!!!!!!

2007-01-01 15:18:00 · 17 answers · asked by cute_an_single! 1

At noon and midnight the hour and minute hands are exactly coincident with each other. How many other times between noon and midnight do the hour and minute hands cross?

One with the correct answer first will be awarded best answer.

Have fun ....even if it's old or you have heard it before. Not everyone has ;)

2007-01-01 15:05:21 · 17 answers · asked by AngelWings 2

2007-01-01 14:38:28 · 24 answers · asked by Richard 7

2007-01-01 14:33:00 · 24 answers · asked by Richard 7

2007-01-01 14:31:13 · 14 answers · asked by nukeYOU 1

2007-01-01 14:30:23 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-01 14:28:08 · 20 answers · asked by Richard 7

The same rules apply as before... for example ... ridiculous flower- the answer is silly lilly.

2007-01-01 14:27:07 · 4 answers · asked by funbuntime 1

Ol' Mulligan is sittn' in a pub having a drink of ale with his son and says "son look out the widow, you see the courthouse at the end of the block- I built that courthose with me own 2 hands but do they call me 'Mulligan the Courthouse Builder' no son, they do not." Takes another swig of ale. "Son look across street- I built that church with me own 2 hands but do they call me 'Mulligan the Chuch Builder' no son, they do not." Drinks more ale. "Son, you see this finely crafted bar on which we rest our mugs of ale, I built this bar with me own 2 hands but do they call me 'Mulligan the Bar Builder' no son, they do not! Slams Down His ALE! "But you screw one stinkin' goat and they'll sure nuff call you "Mulligan the goat F*****" fer the rest o yer life!

2007-01-01 14:26:02 · 7 answers · asked by schlepp 2

2007-01-01 14:22:36 · 46 answers · asked by Richard 7

If I tell Thank you to a person and the person asks me how..what is the funniest answer I can give ?

2007-01-01 14:17:42 · 9 answers · asked by swapna 1

"Theres trouble at mill" what comedy sketch is it from

2007-01-01 14:16:14 · 12 answers · asked by colin050659 6

hi

2007-01-01 14:16:00 · 13 answers · asked by sam the man 2

2007-01-01 14:03:53 · 8 answers · asked by funbuntime 1

"What's green, hangs on a wall, and whistles?"

and.."if you've got it you wanna share it, if you share it you don't got it."

If you can tell me what movie that's from and the characters who say it I'll give you Best Answer..

2007-01-01 13:55:29 · 6 answers · asked by J.J. 2

2007-01-01 13:44:51 · 13 answers · asked by angelicbratgirl 1

I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane bubble.
If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?

2007-01-01 13:38:36 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-01 13:31:57 · 9 answers · asked by mike 2