Jokes & Riddles - January 2007

one day a blond was rowing out in a field of wheat. another blond drove by and stopped the car, she got out and yelled,
"what are you doing?!?! you are a disgrace to all the blonds!!! if i knew how to swim i'd come out there and get you!!!"


okay that was mine, lets hear everyone elses.
5 stars to the person with the best!

2007-01-03 02:37:51 · 21 answers · asked by peachy_desire 2

Please Spell Boston Backwards

its a tricky one

2007-01-03 02:30:11 · 18 answers · asked by kekinomi8989 1

Who hires women with one leg?

2007-01-03 02:26:25 · 17 answers · asked by Randy M 3

2007-01-03 02:21:08 · 19 answers · asked by Stuart V 1

Im looking to bring henry back into my team but I don't know who to drop?

Martins or Anelka!????

2007-01-03 01:59:43 · 12 answers · asked by the southern dandy 3

A small Jamaican man with a lot on his mind?


A little tinker.

2007-01-03 01:58:29 · 15 answers · asked by ? 6

2007-01-03 01:44:16 · 34 answers · asked by hercules d 1

give 10 points for the first one to make me wet my pants. thanks x

2007-01-03 01:26:05 · 18 answers · asked by Jane 3

It is...

Once in a second
Once in a minute
Once in a year
Twice in a lifetime

2007-01-03 01:24:39 · 11 answers · asked by Bree 2

Mabel and Fred have been married for 50 years. One day Fred comes in and tells Mabel that he is leaving her. Mabel is understandably shocked and asks why - after 50 years of marraige - Fred is leaving her. Fred replies that he is going to live with their next door neighbour Doris. Even more shocked, Mabel asks what Doris does for Fred that she does not do. Fred replies that Doris gives him oral pleasure. Mabel says 'but Fred, I give you oral pleasure too'. Fred replies 'yes, but you don't have Parkinsons disease'.

2007-01-03 01:15:18 · 24 answers · asked by Katy Wald!!! 2

A man walked into a supermarket with his zipper down. A lady cashier walked up to him and said, "Your barracks door is open."

Not a phrase that men normally use, he went on his way looking a bit puzzled. When he was about done shopping, a man came up and said, "Your fly is open." He zipped up and finished his shopping.

At the checkout, he intentionally got in the line where the lady was that told him about his "barracks door." He was planning to have a little fun with her, so when he reached the counter he said, "When you saw my barracks door open, did you see a Marine standing in there at attention?"

The lady (naturally smarter than the man) thought for a moment and said, "No, no I didn't. All I saw was a disabled veteran sitting on a couple of old duffel bags".

2007-01-03 01:13:51 · 16 answers · asked by Katy Wald!!! 2

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of wheat on the road. The farmer that lived nearby came to investigate.

"Hey, Willis," he called out, "forget your troubles for a while and come and have dinner with us. Then I'll help you overturn the wagon."

"That's very nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Dad would like me to."

"Aw, come on, son!" the farmer insisted.

"Well, OK," the boy finally agreed, "but Dad won't like it."

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked the host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Dad's going to be real upset."

"Don't be silly!" said the neighbor. "By the way, where is he?"

"Under the wagon," replied Willis

2007-01-03 01:11:50 · 13 answers · asked by Katy Wald!!! 2

First one to get it will get 10 points...

2007-01-03 00:57:21 · 24 answers · asked by meda m 2

A. Nothing
B. Get some gas cans
C. Barricade the door
D. Sit back and watch the fat sow roast

2007-01-03 00:43:58 · 16 answers · asked by chetahbill 4

His blues were bright
On that dark night
He said listen to me
And dont cop a plea

You were going to fast
With your foot on the gas
You need to go slow
And stay in your row

He looked me down
I gave him a frown
I stood up straight
Big mistake

He said a ticket for you
All dressed in blue
I said look at my face
I'll plead my case

Sir, I was in need
For that great speed
I was trying to pass
That dumb freaking ***

2007-01-03 00:35:19 · 9 answers · asked by gary_b04901 1

Anthony and Cleopatra were found dead. They were not poisoned or physically hurt in anyway(no blood, wounds, cuts etc). No one went into the room where the two were found dead except for a dog. Near Anthony and Cleopatra were shattered peices of glass. What happened??


Here's a hint.







There was water where the glass was shattered..



Some people may know this, I found it in this book.

2007-01-03 00:31:03 · 4 answers · asked by scoobert 2

without peeing in between? Is that normal or is there something wrong with me?

2007-01-02 23:56:45 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2007-01-02 23:51:30 · 2 answers · asked by Michelle 3

2007-01-02 23:42:21 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

What is it that when you take away the whole, you still have some left over?

2007-01-02 23:22:53 · 13 answers · asked by channers21 1

I'm bored.

2007-01-02 22:58:10 · 28 answers · asked by anonyman 1

His blues were bright
On that dark night
He said listen to me
And dont cop a plea

You were going to fast
With your foot on the gas
You need to go slow
And stay in your row

He looked me down
I gave him a frown
I stood up straight
Big mistake

He said a ticket for you
All dressed in blue
I said look at my face
I'll plead my case

Sir, I was in need
For that great speed
I was trying to pass
That dumb freaking ***

2007-01-02 22:55:07 · 3 answers · asked by gary_b04901 1

2007-01-02 22:50:56 · 15 answers · asked by HANAFI H 1

what does a person look if he/she has a purple eye?
well if course he/she body suit the eye color...
but another color , lets say...blue(right eye) green(left eye)
or what about red eye?
O.o what will the world come become?

2007-01-02 21:54:41 · 12 answers · asked by alexis Q 2

Meaning of mitsubishi.

2007-01-02 21:45:41 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhE498ef2Us

2007-01-02 21:42:11 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

his guy walks into a pub and sits down by the bar. "Good evening" he says to the bartender. "If I show you something really amazing, will you give me a free drink?". "Sure" the bartender responds. So the guy opens his bag and produces a miniature piano. He then pulls out a very very small man, who sits down by the piano and starts playing ragtime favourites. "Wow!" says the bartender, and hands the guy a Scotch.

So, the bartender wants to know where the guy found the small pianist. "I can't tell you" the guy quickly responds. But the intrigued bartender really needs to find out, and offers the guy drinks on the house all night long if he lets him in on the secret. "Oh well" says the guy. "I have got this lamp with a genie in it. I got the pianist from the genie". The bartender can't believe his ears, and remains silent. "I'll offer you a trade, though" the guy tells him. "You can have the lamp with the genie, and in return, you'll give me free drinks for the rest of my life". It doesn't take the bartender long to realize this might be a good deal, and he soon agrees.

So the guy opens his bag again, and hands the lamp to the bartender, who immediately starts rubbing it. Soon a genie manifests itself from the bottle. "What do you wish?" the genie asks the bartender. "Ah... eh... I want a million bucks!" says the slightly unprepared bartender. And in a flash, the whole pub is filles with quacking birds. "What the hell is this?" shouts the bartender to the guy. "I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!".

"Well" says the guy. "Do you really think I asked for a ten inch pianist?"

2007-01-02 21:36:51 · 3 answers · asked by tarottruths07 2

2007-01-02 21:35:18 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

'Get out of the way' he says'this is half a doberman,half a rottweiler
the most dangerous dog in the world'.Everyone looked at the slobbering,growling monster and moved out of the way....except one small man in the corner. ' Yeah,yeah ,Phhhh...gerroff'..he said,contemptuously..call that a dog?
The skinhead said 'Did n't you hear? This is the most dangerous dog in the world it'll eat your nuts as an hors d'oeuvre.'
Small man says 'I've got a dog in the car that would beat that'
'Beat this monster-I'd like to see it try!'
'Come out to the car park then'
They went out and the little man opened the boot/trunk of his car and took out a dog.
'What kind is he' 'He's a long-nosed,short-legged ,long-tailed terrier' 'Never heard of them..let's get it on...The two dogs were let loose and after a vicious fight the Doberman/Rittweiler lay dead with his throat ripped out.'Wow,what was it called again?'A longlegged shortnosed longtailed terrier-some people call them crocodiles

2007-01-02 21:14:33 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

The city of Whittier, California was founded many years ago, mainly by Quakers. There is a prominent sign composed of large, brass letters on one of the financial institutions in that community identifying it as the Quaker City Bank. The last letter of the first word fell off during an earthquake yesterday, making the sign read "Quake City Bank."

2007-01-02 21:12:51 · 18 answers · asked by axilaryguy 1