blond jokes?

Question

one day a blond was rowing out in a field of wheat. another blond drove by and stopped the car, she got out and yelled,
"what are you doing?!?! you are a disgrace to all the blonds!!! if i knew how to swim i'd come out there and get you!!!"


okay that was mine, lets hear everyone elses.
5 stars to the person with the best!

Answer 1

A blond, a brunette and a redhead were walking on the beach when they found a magic lamp. They all three rubbed it and a genie pops out. He said tat since they all rubbed the lamp and set him free they each could have one wish. The brunette went first. She asked to be 10 percent smarter. So the genie made her a redhead. The redhead went next. She asked to be 10 percent smarter than that. So he made her a brunette. The blond, who loved being blond asked to be 10 percent dumber. So the genie made her a man.

Answer 2

Three Girls Go Camping

One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business.

While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream.

Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."

Another Dumb Blonde

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''

Brunette meets Genie

A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears.
The genie says, "You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much."

The woman says, "Okay. Give me a nice house."

The genie replies, "You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two."

The the lady says, "Give me a gorgeous man."

The genie replies, "You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two."

The lady says, "For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it."

Answer 3

i have three the first one:

A cowboy arrested a blond burnett and a red head he said if u tell me the truth ill let u go,if u lie to me ill shoot u. So the brunette said i think im the let her go. The red haid said i think im the hottest girls in the west so he let her go. The blond said i think and he shot her.

The second one:

A blond burnett and a red haed were stranded on a cliff suddenly a genie apperead he said ill give all of u one wish when u jump off the cliff and say what u want to have. So the burnette jumped and said one million dollars and she landed in a million dollars and it was hers. Thr red head said a corvette she landed in it and it was hers. Well the blonde ran and triped and said **** and landed in ****.

The third one:

A blond burnette and a red haid went camping they ran out of food so the burnett went hunting and came back with a dear they asked "how did u get that?" "well i saw the tracks i saw it and shot it." then the red head went hunting and came back with a elk. they asked "how did u get that?" "i saw the tracks i saw it and shot it. then the blond went hunting she didnt come back for a couple of days and when she did she was all bloody and no food they asked "what happened?" she said " I saw the tracks i saw it i got it by a train!"

Answer 4

ok so this blonde is sitting in the passenger seat with her friend, Bob

Bob- can u check to see if the blinker is working?

Blonde- Yes, no, yes, no , yes, no.....

ok, so this blond wants to learn to fly a helicopter. she hires this teacher and all that stuff. the teacher teaches her everything and then he sends her up solo.she is doing great-she calls in at 1000 ft and 2000 feet. when she was supposed to reach 3000 ft, she didn't call down so her instructor gets worried. he races over to the place where she was flying and sees the helicopter crashed. he asked her what happened when she regained her conscious. she said that as she got higher, it got colder, so she turned off the big fan at the top of the copter.

Answer 5

A blond was looking to make a little extra money, so she decided to go door to door and offer to do any yard work.

One neighbor took her up on her offer and asked her to paint his porch for him. He gave her the white waterproof paint and told her to apply two coats. When she was done painting the porch, he would pay her $50. She accepted.

About an hour later she knocked on his door and said she was done. The neighbor was shocked at how quickly she finished the job and handed her $50. But before she left, she said...

"oh yeah, just so you know, that's not a porsche, it's a mercedes"


okay, one more:

A blond, a redhead and a brunette were all sitting in the Gynocologists office talking about their pregnancies. The redhead said she knew that she was having a girl because she was on top during conception. The brunette said "well then I am having a boy, since I was on the bottom". Suddenly the blond burst into tears. When they asked her what was wrong she said: "I'm going to have puppies!!!!"

Answer 6

ok there was a blond n red head n brunette they are robbing 7 11. n the police are after them. so the hide in a farm. red hides under the wagon, brunette hides in the food cabinet , n the blond hides in the hay, so the police man kicks the wagon n the red head said woof woof.. so he was like ohh is just a dog. n he knocks on the cabinet n the brunette said meow meow ..so he was all just a cat. n he kicks the hay n the blond was scared that she'll get caught so she was like potato!! potato!!!!

Answer 7

okay sooo this convertable and a mustang was driving when the convertable cut off the mustang they both pull over
"yuo stay right here in this circle" a guy says to a blonde
he wrecks her car with a bat
the blonde laughs
he broke all the doors
the blonde still laughs
he blew up the car
the blonde is on the ground laughing her head off
"what r u laughing at?"
"everytime u turned ur back i stepped outta the curcle"

Answer 8

a blond had been trying to have a baby for the longest time, one day she found she was pregnant. she ran over to her neighbor and told her she was pregnant. "really, you are?" the neighbor asked. "yeah, and i'm having twins" said the blonde. "how can you know that being so early" asked the neighbor. the blonde answered " i took a twin pack pregnancy test and both came out positive."

Answer 9

There was a blond, an American and a Russian in a boat. The Russian says, ”we were the first to space”. The American says, ”So what - we were the first to the moon.” The blond says, ”we’re going to be the first to the sun.” To which the other two reply, ”that’s impossible - you'll burn up.” then she says, “we’re not stupid you know - we’re going at night.”

Answer 10

1. How does a blonde have safe sex...?


She wears her seatbelt.


2. How does a blonde turn on the light after sex?


She opens the car door.