His blues were bright
On that dark night
He said listen to me
And dont cop a plea
You were going to fast
With your foot on the gas
You need to go slow
And stay in your row
He looked me down
I gave him a frown
I stood up straight
Big mistake
He said a ticket for you
All dressed in blue
I said look at my face
I'll plead my case
Sir, I was in need
For that great speed
I was trying to pass
That dumb freaking ***
2007-01-03 00:35:19 · 9 answers · asked by gary_b04901 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
okay.........
2007-01-03 02:24:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
7 and that i will inform you why. Your imagery is giant. yet i do no longer purely like the rhyme scheme. You rhyme "physique" and "rain" (kinda) and "lifetime" and "time" in the 1st 2 stanzas, yet do no longer proceed the vogue in the final. Throws off the examining of the poem by skill of making you adjust gears. in the 2d stanza, the line "and that i knew i will grab it, quickly, very quickly" is fallacious. you're speaking in the previous stressful, for this reason it would say"and that i knew i'd grab it" .suited grammar that way. i'd additionally seperate the 1st stanza into 2. Making it i grew to become into leaning, touching the open window physique, watching the raindrop, no longer the rain. Nature appeared pleasing then, yet i did no longer care I stood tranquil, the drop had easy reflecting on it It grew to become into glistening, and that i fell in love; My heart spoke, “placed it in a locket, take care of it”. extra constructive bypass that way, the different stanzas are speedy, 4 lines, so the 1st stanza should not be six. returned, bypass is the main right here. you have marvelous imagery, and this would be a 10 (in my eyes) in case you made the variations I reported. the two way it incredibly is a robust poem. in spite of the incontrovertible fact that it would desire to be great. save writing, your very reliable.
2016-10-29 21:33:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
5 at best.
Not bad but not good either, you have a clever thought and on a good track just a little doctoring up and could be really witty.
2007-01-03 02:05:49 · answer #3 · answered by sportyscott_28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it needs so work but good try 7/10
2007-01-03 01:31:23 · answer #4 · answered by Greeneyed 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
9/10 it was good and a bit funny
2007-01-03 00:56:41 · answer #5 · answered by Deranged Insanity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is pretty clever...i like it 9/10
2007-01-03 00:46:13 · answer #6 · answered by coco 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 at best but it was a good try
2007-01-03 02:10:13 · answer #7 · answered by buggs8498 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
11111111111111111111111111111111111
that was stupid. i just wasted 40 seconds of my life.
2007-01-03 00:42:51 · answer #8 · answered by ber439_0116 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are right.this poem really sucks
2007-01-03 01:01:43 · answer #9 · answered by invinciblekarthik 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋