Jokes & Riddles - January 2007

Can anyone out there get to level 4 on this game cause i just can't seem to do it, please tell me if you do....

http://www.thebluething.com/media/The-Maze

2007-01-08 12:28:33 · 10 answers · asked by LittleBit 3

A joke I made up myself.

2007-01-08 12:15:06 · 14 answers · asked by Kat 2

i really am not good at jokes and need some really fast!!
i don't care what kinda jokes they are i just need funny ones fast!!

2007-01-08 12:12:14 · 13 answers · asked by Angie,, 2

An irishman looking in a rubbish dump for something to sell because he is down on his luck. find an old metal lamp . Bejabers ,just like Alladins he laughs. He rubs it for fun and to his surprise out pops a genie,Master , bellows the genie ,I can give you three wishes ,what do you desire. I'd like a drink says the irishman. Theres a big flash and a bottle of guiness appears . This is a magic bottle says the genie its never empty. the irishman pours the beer into an old cup he has, and as he does the bottle fills again. It will do that for as long as you live ,says the genie. Now whats your second wish? I' d like some food says the irishman, A big flash and a full Sunday roast appears . As you eat the food says the genie ,it will reappear on the plate.Sure enough it does . a full plate all the time. And what is your last wish ? I cant think Oh I tell you what, give me another one of those bottles of Guiness.

2007-01-08 12:10:49 · 8 answers · asked by peter d 2

Some kid posted this ancient bit of poetry thinking she was being cool and naughty.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070108155147AAgAHHp

What I wonder is just how old it really is. There is nothing new in junior high/middle school humor. It just keeps getting recycled through the years.

It was a wonderful thing to pass around in a note, and if the teacher intercepted it and read it, the class would erupt in loud laughter. Always worked, especially with subs.

I recall reading it in junior high....and that was almost 40 years ago! Anybody recall reading it prior to then?

2007-01-08 12:03:23 · 6 answers · asked by WhatAmI? 7

A farm boy accidentally overturned a wagon of corn on the road. A nearby farmer saw the accident and went over to have a look and found the boy trying to right the tipped wagon.
"Hey Willie," the farmer said. "Forget your troubles for a spell....its late, come have dinner with us. I'll help you with that wagon after we eat."
"That's mighty nice of you, but Pa won't like that," Willie replied.
"Aw, come on son. Take a break," the farmer insisted.
"Well, okay," the boy finally agreed. "But Pa won't like it."
After a hearty meal, Willie thanked the farmer. "I feel a lot better now, but I just know that Pa will be upset."
"Nonsense," the farmer said. "Where is your pa anyway?"
"Under the wagon" said the boy.

2007-01-08 11:58:36 · 10 answers · asked by Papa 7

Pick one out of the picks below

- Blond Jokes
- Red Neck Jokes
- Yo mama Jokes
- Other Jokes

2007-01-08 11:57:09 · 10 answers · asked by Rain-- 3

It may be larger or smaller than the box in the office...



You can share or use it by yourself.



It is able to fly or ride...



It talks...





What it is?

2007-01-08 11:56:24 · 12 answers · asked by ruthvon11 2

A magician is working on a cruise liner. One of his first tricks he produces a parrot out of a hat to the audiences surprise. He puts the parrot on a stand at the side of the stage. The magician then does some card tricks but every night the parrot gives the game away. Its up his sleeve squarks the parrot , or its the ace of spades, or when the magician tries to make something vanish the parrot squarks its under the table and ruins the trick. 4 nights into the cruise the ship hits an iceberg and sinks. All thats left floating is the magician clinging to a piece of debris. then suddenly out of the sky flies the parrot and lands on the magicians shoulder. the magician looks at the parrot and the parrot stares back at the magician. After 10 minites of silence the parrot says . O.K. youv'e got me .What have you done with the ship?

2007-01-08 11:52:09 · 8 answers · asked by peter d 2

what are some funny jokes that u like?

2007-01-08 11:46:22 · 7 answers · asked by taekwondobeatu02 2

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman for the last three weekends."
Father Donavon asks: "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"
"Yes, Father, 'tis I."
"And who was the woman you were with?"
"Sure and I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now.
Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
"I cannot say Father, please."
"Was it Patricia Kelly?"
"I will never tell."
"Was it Brydie Shannon?"
"I'm sorry, but I will not! name her."
"Was it Mary Catherine Morgan?"
"My lips are sealed, Father."
"Was it Fiona McDonald then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration.
"You're a steadfast lad Tommy Shaughnessy, and I admire that, but you've sinned and now you must atone. You cannot attend mass for the next three months. Now be off with you!"

Tommy walks back to his pew.

His friend Sean Hurley slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"

"Three month's vacation and five good leads."

2007-01-08 11:44:13 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

God Bless and Be Safe :)
I am aweful at telling jokes :P

2007-01-08 11:37:34 · 4 answers · asked by Yeah it's me................ 2

finish this sentence:

"i'm as lonely as...."

be creative! be clever! be FUNNY!

2007-01-08 11:37:00 · 5 answers · asked by sarasugar 3

a boy setting at his computer! he falls asleep and wakes up inside his computer.

how did he get there ?

2007-01-08 11:34:16 · 9 answers · asked by Monkey 1

A woman went to the doctor saying that she was fed up with her small breasts...the doctor suggested a revolutionary new method from America.'At exactly the same time every day for a week you must take your boobs out move them up and down in your hands saying..".I must...I must...I must increase my bust" '
The woman tried this and every day at 4pm she went into her bedroom and carried out the ritual.
On the 5th day she was in Tescos and was kept talking by a friend,she looked at her watch...3.59pm...she rushed behind a quiet isle,took off her bra and started repeating..I must... I must ..
..I must increase my bust. Just then she noticed a creepy man leering at her from behind the next aisle..."What do you want?" she snapped. The man said.".Hee ..you go to Dr Kildary don't you?" "How do you know that?"

" Hee...hee" he said lecherously.." hickory dickory dock........

2007-01-08 11:28:19 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

...and are they hiring?

2007-01-08 11:26:21 · 5 answers · asked by matrich401 1

Mum says to little Jimmy , whats up son you look troubled, Jimmy shouts back ,I need the loo. Oh come on then I'll take. Cant granny take me says Jimmy. Why do you want granny to take you asks mum . Because her hand shakes he replies

2007-01-08 11:26:16 · 17 answers · asked by peter d 2

2007-01-08 11:24:34 · 11 answers · asked by susan 3

2007-01-08 11:20:42 · 4 answers · asked by maciemay 1

Q. whats the definition of macho?
A. joggin home after a vasectomy
Q. Whats the difference between a golf ball and a G spot?
A. a bloke will search for a golf ball
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. because its worth it.
Q. What do Tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A. they both like a tight seal.
Q.How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
A. its not hard.
Q. Whats the difference between medium and rare?
A. six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
Q. Why do women rub there eyes when they get up in a morning?
A.They dont have any balls to scratch.

2007-01-08 11:19:53 · 9 answers · asked by peter d 2

One day Jesus is welcoming people into heaven when this old man shuffles up to the pearly gates.
Jesus says to the man. "What have you done to enter the kingdom of heaven?"
The old man says,"I am just a poor carpenter, the only thing of real importance in my life was that of my son.
"Your son?" Jesus says getting interested.
"Yes he was quite a son. He went through the most remarkable birth and later a great transformation. He was quite well known and is still loved by many today.
"Father! Father!" says Jesus as he hugs the man.
The man hugs him back and says "Pinnochio?"

2007-01-08 11:17:40 · 6 answers · asked by Papa 7

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is a galloping kangaroo and your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the Kangaroo. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

2007-01-08 11:10:48 · 19 answers · asked by Papa 7

On your trip back from the Island people to the deep dark forest, you get lost. A trap door suddenly opens and you fall down into a dark chamber.

You hear a voice, "You are trespassing and the penalty is death. In five minutes you will be buried alive. However due to our exceeding kindness and mercy, and because you were once ruler of the forest people, we will allow you to earn your life back. In this dark chamber there are two doors. You may choose to open either one - if you choose correctly, you will go free. If you choose incorrectly, well, instead of just being buried alive, you will be eaten alive by army ants.

To help you choose a door, you may ask a question. However, you should know that two people will hear you and one of them always lies and the other one always tells the truth. One of them will answer your question, but you will not know which one. Each of them knows which door leads to freedom.

Good Luck, you have four and a half minutes left."

What question do you ask to win your freedom? (At least two solutions.)

2007-01-08 11:10:48 · 9 answers · asked by The Next Allen Iverson 1

A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. "Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with no pants on?" he asked again.
The old man slyly looked at him and said, "Well last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This was your Grandma's idea!!"

2007-01-08 11:08:23 · 17 answers · asked by Kizzy_ 5

How Do you get an elephant out of a subway? (Hint: take the "S" out of "sub" and the "f" out of way.)

2007-01-08 11:06:56 · 13 answers · asked by DrakeBellLoverForLifex33 1

A man was walking through the forest and stumbles upon a cabin. He looks inside and sees 10 dead men all tied up in chairs. Howcome?

(you may ask yes or no questions)

2007-01-08 11:01:07 · 10 answers · asked by Logical Rationalist 4

On the flightdeck over Portugal ,the captain turns on the intercom.Ladies and gentlemen ,we are currently at 33000 feet with a speed of 430 miles per hour. Enjoy your flight and you can contact the cabin crew if you require assistance.He then forgets to turn off the intercom.Turns to his first officer and says, talking of flight crew , you know the blonde one? Well I'm gonna go for a dump ,then I'm going down to the galley ,rip her pants off and give her the best seeing to shes ever had.At this point the blonde attendant is running up the centre isle to the cockpit to stop the broadcast. Shes almost reached the cockpit door when an old lady sticks out a leg and trips her up. What did you do that for says the attendant? Well says the old lady, its no use you rushing , he hasnt been for a dump yet!

2007-01-08 11:00:53 · 6 answers · asked by peter d 2

what starts with a "p" and ends with o,r,n?

2007-01-08 10:52:58 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

There was an grape tree over a river. One grape fell and fell into the ocean. Which way did the current drift?

~~WINNER GETS BEST ANSWER~~

2007-01-08 10:51:30 · 13 answers · asked by The Next Allen Iverson 1

I saw jim do it on the office to dwight and i wanna get a coworker with a similar prank

2007-01-08 10:48:24 · 7 answers · asked by cschmelzer83 3