Jokes & Riddles (Entertainment & Music) - January 2007

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Why did the chicken...?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because God came down from Heaven and said unto the chicken: "Thou shalt cross the road." So the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Give some funny answers and best one wins... the best answer?

2007-01-08 19:35:21 · 7 answers · asked by Teddy 2

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suggest a really weird dog name?

may the wittiest most hilarious name win!

2007-01-08 19:34:40 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

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what is love?

the wittiest or the most romantic answer wins
gud luck!

2007-01-08 19:21:05 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

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Bumper Sticker?

My friend created a sticker that reads: If you can read this, you're invading my colon.

what do you think? funny? should we stick it?

2007-01-08 18:31:37 · 5 answers · asked by Friv 4

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Abbreviation.. of EAG030980?

Guess it..,, and win my best answer..

2007-01-08 18:23:10 · 6 answers · asked by eag030980 1

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College Teacher Comment?

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"

A smart-aleked guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

2007-01-08 18:21:54 · 8 answers · asked by Cookie Monster 5

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Re-kindle the love?

I phoned up a really gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't BELIEVE it when she asked if I'd like to meet up and maybe rekindle a little of that magic."Wow!" I said "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!" She giggled and said she was sure I'd meet the challenge! "Yeah," I said, "Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistband that's a few inches wider these days!" She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me, saying She thought tubby bald men were cute! "Anyway", she said, "I've put on a couple of pounds myself!" So I hung up on the fat *****.

2007-01-08 18:20:24 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

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How do you say rabbit without the letter...R..?

2007-01-08 18:19:12 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

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What is the difference between "GUTS" and "BALLS"?

We've all heard about people having "Guts" or "Balls". But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below ....

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying off somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: "You're next."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject.

2007-01-08 17:49:31 · 6 answers · asked by Cookie Monster 5

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riddle time.......?

I got out of my car on a road trip and had to pee. I was running to the bathroom when of course some lady went in first and it was a one person bathroom. I was waiting and waiting and heard a shot!! BAM the lady aimed the gun at herself and pulled the trigger........., but she came out with no blood and very much ALIVE.............what happened and how could she shoot herself with NO INJURIES?

Who ever guesses first gets BEST ANSWER!!!

2007-01-08 17:27:23 · 14 answers · asked by carebarri 2

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what am I?

I am...
Alive without breathe,
cold as death.
all in mail,
never clinking.
always thirsty,
never drinking.

2007-01-08 17:19:51 · 14 answers · asked by Ninja 2

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who is the teacher of alexzander the great?

2007-01-08 17:19:43 · 10 answers · asked by viki 1

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Joke: Old man in Mall?

I was at the mall the other day eating at the food court.

I noticed an old man watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.

The old man kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find the old man staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"

The old man did not bat an eye in his response, "Got drunk once and made love with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

2007-01-08 17:00:18 · 19 answers · asked by Cookie Monster 5

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If you believe in reincarnation and could come back as an animal of your choice, what would you choose and why

I would want to come back as a rich lady's stud poodle for obvious reasons

2007-01-08 16:49:21 · 20 answers · asked by Buck 5

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Joke: Bad idea?

Three boys received their grades from their female sex education teacher.
One got a D+, the second got a D-, and the third boy got an F.

"One day we should get her for this," said the first boy.

"I agree, we'll grab her...." said the second boy.

"Yeah," said the third boy, "and then we'll kick her in the nuts!"

2007-01-08 16:47:00 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

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quick riddle?

What style and color panty should i wear tomorrow. I have a v-string, thong, or string bikini. In pink, striped pink, green, pink with flowers, white i love VS, or a few others. I can play with it better knowing what everyone likes

2007-01-08 16:41:29 · 10 answers · asked by john S 1

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Anyone know this riddle?

What walks on 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the evening and 3 legs at night? (When a whole day is a life time)- such as morning is birth and night is death

2007-01-08 15:59:24 · 22 answers · asked by Tasha from Ca 1

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im bored what..........?

what would u say if i said i was bored this is just a joke topic

2007-01-08 15:34:20 · 20 answers · asked by emo elmo 2

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On the trip back from Vegas?

A bus full of senior gamblers was driving down the freeway, returning from two days in Las Vegas. A lady passenger comes forward and complains to the driver that some male creep had crawled along the floor and fondled herunder her dress. The driver tells her he'll stop as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

As the driver was searching for a good spot to pull over, another female passenger comes forward, complaining of being fondled, too. To the driver's mind, this constitutes an emergency, so he immediately pulls over onto the shoulder and brings the bus to a screeching halt. He proceeds to go back to find the culprit and spies this little baldheaded guy crawling on all fours along the floor of the bus. He confronts the guy and asks him what he's doing on the floor.

"Well," replies the little fellow, "I lost my toupee a few miles back and I thought I'd found it twice until I realized mine's parted on the side."

2007-01-08 15:26:38 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

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for those who heard the spades joke?

im glad u had a good laugh and found it harmless but there is a SNITCH online that reported me. who ever u were gain a sense of harmless humor. and have a blessed day =)

2007-01-08 15:19:50 · 7 answers · asked by blue 4

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