Jokes & Riddles - December 2006

Last night, my girlfriends and I went to a Ladies Night Club.
One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us,
so she pulled out a $10 bill.

When the male dancer came over to us,
my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!

Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill.
She called the guy back, licks the $ 20 bill,
and sticks it to his other butt cheek.

In another attempt to impress the rest of us,
my third friend pulls out a $50 bill and calls the guy over,
and licks the $50 bill.
I'm worried about the way things are going, but fortunately,
she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again.

My relief was short-lived.

Seeing the way things are going, the guy races over to me!
Now everyone's attention is focused on me,
and the guy is egging me on to try to top the $50.
My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet.
What could I do?


The woman in me took over!
I got out my ATM card,
swiped it down the crack of his butt

2006-12-27 11:42:46 · 12 answers · asked by a m 4

Like the ones where you say I was born a pirate ship. I want a bunch more please. Thanks! =)

2006-12-27 11:40:44 · 3 answers · asked by Rodney G 2

http://video.yahoo.com/video/play?&ei=UTF-8&gid=g_13290b0aa894e3683dbc0c49b228ce4d.13290b0aa894e3683dbc0c49b228ce4d&b=3&vid=13290b0aa894e3683dbc0c49b228ce4d.1276946&rurl=video.yahoo.com&vdone=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.yahoo.com%2Fvideo%2Fgroup%3Fei%3DUTF-8%26gid%3Dg_13290b0aa894e3683dbc0c49b228ce4d.13290b0aa894e3683dbc0c49b228ce4d

2006-12-27 11:36:07 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

I heard something about a guy named Ben Dover and Isa Pooten lol

2006-12-27 11:24:31 · 15 answers · asked by ♥#1 Miley Cyrus Fan♥ 5

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

"You'll get your chance in court," said the Desk Sergeant.

"No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"

2006-12-27 11:13:27 · 17 answers · asked by a m 4

cause i told it at dinner on tuesday and no one laughed:

syd barrett has just died and he finds himself in this white room, he looks around and sees john lennon sitting at a piano with janis joplin beside him, john entwhistle tuning his bass and elvis, hendrix and kurt cobain all strumming their guitars while gathered around one microphone. he says to john "wow man this is musical heaven!" john nods at a drumkit at the back of the room and says "heaven!" I dont think so mate!", just as karen carpenter sits on the stool and says, "ok boys and girls, one two three, close to you!"

2006-12-27 11:04:01 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

Two frends were in the woods.(Charles & Fred)
They were exploring the great wilderness.

While they were hiking a rattlesnake came out of nowhere and bit Charles in the @$$.
Fred became worried and said "I'll go find help, theres a city just a mile from here!"

As Fred ran to the city he finally found a clinic.
"Doctor! my friend just got bitten by a rattlesnake!"

The Doctor said "I cannot come, im watching over a patient who is in labor , she can have her baby at any time!"
Fred becomes anxious and says "What can I do to save my friend."

the doctor says " Okay you must first moisten the bite with some acid, urine would be the easiest."
"Then dry it after lettin the bite moisten for a minute then cut the bite a bit and suck out the poison, and your friend will live."

Fred quickly runs out of the clinic to his friend in the woods.

Charles is on the ground still consious and says "Fred , did you find any help?"
Fred says."Ya , i found a doctor but he said your gonna die."

2006-12-27 11:01:47 · 7 answers · asked by AndrU 2

2006-12-27 10:46:20 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

*And the movie name please*

2006-12-27 10:43:17 · 16 answers · asked by theburlaces 3

I need to know the answer to this riddle.

2006-12-27 10:35:49 · 32 answers · asked by Lucille C 1

2006-12-27 10:33:26 · 2 answers · asked by lougher_harris 1

Why don't women have brains?

2006-12-27 10:32:41 · 10 answers · asked by ssc 2

when i was in highschool i knew a guy named tim growcock.No really, that was his name. LOL to this day

2006-12-27 10:30:04 · 14 answers · asked by buffalo chip 2

2006-12-27 10:26:15 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

I want to know how much exactly. Please do not give me the answer of "a lot" or "100." 100 WHAT? HOW MUCH IS A LOT? Thank you in advance.

2006-12-27 10:24:42 · 7 answers · asked by Rakootah 1

theres 3 guys 2 hot guys and 1 really ugly guy they are all on there way to heaven but b-4 u get there u have to walk on steps but u cant step on a duck or ull be chained to a big fat ugly girl or the other way for the girls well the 1st cute one steped on a duck and got chained to a big fat ugly woman the 2nd cute one stepped on a duck and got chained well the ugly one said he wouldnt step on a duck well he didnt and this beautiful woman walks up to him and gets chained to him hes like why am i chained to u she said because i stepped on a duck

2006-12-27 10:03:35 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-27 09:57:54 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous

I mean, no one in the world would run away from a spider thats ten feet away from you!

If any of you have any information about this, please tell me, its been driving me crazy!

2006-12-27 09:54:58 · 8 answers · asked by compooky888 2

"A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. She sets the poodle on the bar, and the bartender says, 'I suppose you won't be needing a drink.' Naked blonde says..."

2006-12-27 09:44:55 · 14 answers · asked by Ashley 3

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

2006-12-27 09:43:10 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

Has anybody heard this riddle before?

2006-12-27 09:41:50 · 20 answers · asked by hugomoney1121 1

Has anybody heard this riddle before?

2006-12-27 09:41:26 · 11 answers · asked by hugomoney1121 1

you are in a room no door no windows all u have is a table and a mirror how do u get out?

2006-12-27 09:39:31 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

What Do Women & Shrimps Have in Common...??


Their Heads are Full of Crap But The Pink Bits Taste Nice...

2006-12-27 09:34:47 · 32 answers · asked by Simon 3

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

2006-12-27 09:30:38 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

Ok so when you are entertaining people what is your best joke. You know when a few people are telling jokes you have that one you like and tucked away for such an occasion. Sometimes these are one liners sometimes they are a story(these are the type I prefer) I would love to hear your best jokes. Thanks in advance.

2006-12-27 09:30:19 · 4 answers · asked by Timmy the WNY rockstar 2

2006-12-27 09:26:20 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

There were two friends that haven't seen each other i a very long time... the first guy asked the second so how many kids do you have.... second gut said i have four two boy's and two girl's how about you? first guy said i have three..... there was a long pause... the second guy said well what are they... first guy oh i have one of each....

2006-12-27 09:19:57 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

Because without it he would be ' Ewar Woowar"

2006-12-27 09:19:17 · 8 answers · asked by samootch 2

give it air and it will live
give it water and it will die

2006-12-27 09:13:48 · 22 answers · asked by kayla k 1