Jokes & Riddles - December 2006

If you don't know something, don't change the question to make yourself look good, and don't answer.

2006-12-27 09:11:55 · 40 answers · asked by Oy M 1

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

2006-12-27 09:08:21 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

I don't think so but sometimes hear it pronounced this way. What do you think?

2006-12-27 09:07:17 · 22 answers · asked by MLJ 1

I have 2 coins one isnt a 20p in total they equal 30p how can this be possible? I am talking english sterling current money

2006-12-27 09:00:09 · 21 answers · asked by confused 6

I have a person I would LOVE to prank but I never want them to know I did it. Any ideas?

2006-12-27 08:54:11 · 8 answers · asked by Nancy T 1

LOL!!!!

2006-12-27 08:52:35 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

I saw a girl who fell in the swimming pool and the life guard saved her life because chicken nut bread underwater.

(she cannot breathe)

2006-12-27 08:44:51 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

I went to the tennis court and my Tenacious was untied.

(Tennis shoes)

2006-12-27 08:42:01 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of OAPs when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks her: "Why don`t you eat the peanuts yourself?"

"We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.

"We just love the chocolate around them."

2006-12-27 08:41:13 · 22 answers · asked by OO7 3

I went to the gas station and the clerk said to me "Do you want to Papers or Pampers?"

(Pay first, or pump first.)

2006-12-27 08:40:50 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-12-27 08:32:28 · 12 answers · asked by stunkout35 2

if you're walking down the street carring a canoe on your head and one of the tires falls off, how many pancakes would it take to fix the hole in the dog house?

Come on, you guys... step your game up!

2006-12-27 08:27:12 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

What force and streght cannot get through,i w/ a gentle touch can do and many would stand in the street,where i not a friend at hand?

2006-12-27 08:23:58 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous

There is not room in there for the rest of me !
Do you think that she should buy bigger knickers ?

2006-12-27 08:23:08 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Taffy says,

"My wife has bought a car and she can't even drive".

Jock says,

"My wife has gone on a diet and she's not even fat"

Paddy says,

"My wife's gone on holiday to Ibiza, taken 30 condoms with her and she hasn't even got a c0ck"

2006-12-27 08:11:32 · 21 answers · asked by Ecko 4

2006-12-27 08:05:51 · 33 answers · asked by Devil Dog 2

he he i see you all suffering in pain with my riddle muhahah btw, all those answers are wrong. the wife was still alive when he got out of the flat, and no there wasnt a phone cal, no there wasnt an assasin...lol btw just to help you again:

1. the wife is disabled
2. the lift wasnt working and neither was sum other things at that same tym. GOOD LUCK TRYINGN!!

2006-12-27 08:03:34 · 10 answers · asked by la de da 5

hint its a 5 letter word starts with c---- and you use it at the end of toast?....?

2006-12-27 07:59:13 · 9 answers · asked by aligrespeq 3

2006-12-27 07:55:26 · 18 answers · asked by shisofly 1

stops a little girl on a bike and asks,

"Did Santa get you that?"

"Yep", replies the little girl.

"Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year", orders the policeman and fines her 5 quid.

The little girls looks up to the policeman and asks,

"Nice horse you got there. Did Santa get you that?"

The cop chuckles, "He sure did."

"Well", said the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the dick goes under the horse, not on top of it"

2006-12-27 07:53:57 · 26 answers · asked by Ecko 4

2006-12-27 07:50:52 · 13 answers · asked by zmanryan2 1

I can't, they say its impossible.... but I'm sure there is at leas ONE person in the world who can!!

2006-12-27 07:50:06 · 17 answers · asked by hotchick0180 1

Cross your arms and place each index finger on each side of your nostrils. Now the trick is to uncross your arms and fingers without removing them from their original place.

Best one to explain it wins 10 pts.

(note:Works really better when you show it to someone in person rather than reading the instructions)

2006-12-27 07:45:09 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

paper or plastic?
coke or sprite?
red or blue?
light or dark?
myspace or yahoo?
love or money?
dog or cat?
stripes or dots?
mall or walmart?
AtL or cali?
t.v or radio?
elevator or escalator?
dirt bike or fourwheeler?
telephone or compter?
this or that?
talking or walking?
c.d or tape?
boy or man?
girl or woman?
capries or skirts?
long or short sleeves?
blondes or red heads?
freckles no freckles?
apple or orange?

2006-12-27 07:43:35 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

I made the riddle at http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AtxDkYLPkye6eCFIs840NXHsy6IX?qid=20061227081515AAwNaKA

am very powerful, I influence everyone. Out of me, I create kindness, compassion, and care. I am also the most poisonous venom there is. I create lust, greed, and hatred. I can move around for 24 hours non stop. However, when you stop, then I'll stop. What am I?

The answer to the riddle is the HUMAN HEART!

The heart can influence you. Out of your heart, you show kindness and compassion. Unfortunately, it also creates greed, lust and other type of evilness. It also leads to murder and hurt other humans, very poisonous.

It pumps blood 24 hours non stop until you die, then it will stop. Do you agree?!?!

2006-12-27 07:40:21 · 2 answers · asked by Webballs 6

An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds."

When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 POUNDS!

"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?"


The Irishman nodded..."I'll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t'aut I were going to drop dead dat 3rd day."


"From hunger, you mean?"


"No, from de feckin skippin'"

2006-12-27 07:38:09 · 27 answers · asked by Ecko 4

Here are some of the kid's say the darnest and cutest things:-

"Close the curtains," requested our 2 year old granddaughter,
sitting in a pool of bright light. "The sun's looking at me too hard."

"My friend asked our grandson when he would turn 6. He replied, "When I'm tired of being 5."

"Announcing to daughter Lori that her aunt just had a baby and it looked like her uncle, she said, "You mean he has a mustache?"

"While shampooing our son, 4, I noted his hair was growing so fast he'dsoon need it cut. He replied, "Maybe we shouldn't water it so much."

"His mom informed her son, Brian, that she was going outside to get alittle sun. "But Mommy, he gulped, "You already have a son -- me!"

"When our son asked about two look-alike classmates at school, we told him they were probably twins. The next day, he came home from schoolall bubbly and said, "Guess what? They are not only twins, they're brothers!"

2006-12-27 07:35:09 · 11 answers · asked by Anne H 3

One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher.


Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the parrot was his at last!


As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure
hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it,
only to find out that he can't talk!"



"Don't worry." said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"

2006-12-27 07:24:58 · 12 answers · asked by Anne H 3

Ze klunken klicken every trippen

2006-12-27 07:11:29 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

I LIKE PIE BUT I AM LISTENING

2006-12-27 07:09:49 · 16 answers · asked by pieeeeeee 1