Jokes & Riddles - November 2006

2006-11-13 20:20:38 · 20 answers · asked by 2 good 2 miss 6

i see 100 legs...

but only 36 heads.

how many are pigs?

how many are chicken...

2006-11-13 20:07:08 · 7 answers · asked by pit_bulldog 3

Durex have bought out a commemorative pack of 3 condoms, with a gold silver and bronze condom in the pack...Aguy buys a pack, and takes them home to his wife, and boasts.." Its your lucky night, I am going to give you a athletes performance tonight when I wear my gold condom"
The wife hisses " Why dont you wear the silver one and try coming second for a change"

2006-11-13 20:06:08 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

This guy and his newlywed wife go to the Hilton for their honeymoon night. At the front desk, they check in, and the receptionist gives the groom the key to the bridal suite. Just then he says to the groom, "Sir, It is now 6 o' clock, dinner will be served from 7:30 onwards."

The groom looks at him and says, "Thank you, but we won't be needing any." and off he and his bride go to the room.

The whole evening the people next door the bridal suite are phoning down to the main desk to complain about all the moaning, which doesn't stop for one minute the whole night.

Next morning at 6am, the groom phones down to room service. "Hi, could I get some breakfast brought up here?"

"Sure, what would you like?" asks room service. The groom says, "Well, I have to replace all the energy I lost last night so you'd better get me 6 fried eggs, 9 sausages, 12 slices of toast and 6 liters of orange juice!"

2006-11-13 19:43:00 · 11 answers · asked by ettezzil 5

Let the most beautiful dream come to you tonight, let the most sweetest person come to your dream.

But don't make it a habit, because I am not always free!!!

2006-11-13 19:28:45 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

I'll give you a hint, it's something to do with eggs...

2006-11-13 17:54:49 · 18 answers · asked by Some guy 2

2006-11-13 17:49:08 · 29 answers · asked by I like BEER 1

2006-11-13 17:46:22 · 24 answers · asked by 2 good 2 miss 6

is falling asleep waiting for q's? lol

2006-11-13 17:44:38 · 13 answers · asked by mandy 1

2006-11-13 17:44:01 · 11 answers · asked by 2 good 2 miss 6

2006-11-13 17:43:38 · 15 answers · asked by I like BEER 1

What to do if so? Bite your nose and chew your toes is that a good idea to keep busy?

2006-11-13 17:36:38 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

how many people think this is funny, or at least get it?


"Sometimes I look in the mirror and think, "Yep, definitely eight cows."

2006-11-13 17:35:09 · 21 answers · asked by Foodaholic 2

2006-11-13 17:32:02 · 18 answers · asked by sad_but_pretty 2

Is your hair a real sight.
Is your face one big zit, and you look best at night?
Are you ugly as crap?
Is your face a road map?
Does this poem make you want to lay down for a nap?

2006-11-13 17:11:01 · 14 answers · asked by opjames 4

How did the blonde explain her helicoptor accident?

2006-11-13 16:59:24 · 13 answers · asked by Daddy's Girl 2

*orea is a beautiful country.

I had taken a run to the seoul.

On a journey, i was staying at a friend.

My friend live at country. A rural senery was beautiful!

He breeds Dogs on his ranch.

His son's pet was a playful Puppy.

At night, i was so hungry that ordered supper.

He was very helpful to me. He offered food and drink.

He skewer a meat and grill it....and said to me.....


"Spread a small amount of oil on the bottom of the puppy breast

before placing it on the grill and this will preventit from burning."

2006-11-13 16:54:04 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

A conga line at the retirement home xmas party

2006-11-13 16:32:39 · 11 answers · asked by gillean666 1

In my pocket, I have two modern American coins(you use them every day). Together they total 30 cents. One of them is not a nickle. What are the two coins?

2006-11-13 16:31:16 · 17 answers · asked by benzhowz 3

my sister pulled a really mean prank on me so heres what the prank was she cut my hair really short while i was asleep
what do you think i should do

2006-11-13 16:22:28 · 10 answers · asked by kara 1

What was so funny?
Who were you with, or what were you watching?

2006-11-13 15:56:18 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

After the annual office Christmas party blowout, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he was able to make his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

"Louise," he moaned, "tell me what went on last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she assured him, voice dripping with scorn. "You made a complete *** of yourself, succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and insulted the President of the company to his face."

"He's an a**hole – piss on him!"

"You did," Louise informed him. "And he fired you."

"Well, screw him!" said John.

"I did. You're back at work on Monday."


enjoi ^_^

2006-11-13 15:34:16 · 22 answers · asked by ettezzil 5

2006-11-13 15:24:04 · 25 answers · asked by freddy197120032003 3

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"

"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

"That's no offense," said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?"

"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
###
Two daughters had been given parts in a Christmas pageant at their Church. At dinner that night, they got into an argument as to who had the most important role.

Finally the 14 year old said to her 8 year old younger sister, "Well, you just ask Mom. She'll tell you it's much harder to be a virgin than it is to be an angel."
###
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas ?"

The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"

Merry Christmas!!!

2006-11-13 15:22:38 · 25 answers · asked by ettezzil 5

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.

Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?"

"My mother died in August," he said, "and left me $25,000."

"Gee, that's tough," he replied.

"Then in September," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $90,000."

"Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed."

"And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000."

"Three close family members lost in three months? How sad."

"Then this month," continued, the friend, "absolutely nothing!"

2006-11-13 14:53:38 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

Maybe she's not my mom after all

2006-11-13 14:46:13 · 29 answers · asked by burrgump 3

There is a pole in a lake. One-half of the pole is in the ground, another one-thrid of it is covered by water, and 9 feet is out of the water. What is the totaly length of the pole in feet?

2006-11-13 14:41:29 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-11-13 14:30:16 · 11 answers · asked by me 4

An eight-year-old boy went into a grocery store and picked out a large box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. "Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash my dog." "But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog," said the grocer. "It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him." But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it. A week later, the boy was back in the store to buy some candy. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing. "Oh, he died," the boy said. The grocer said he was sorry, but added, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog." "Well, the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed him." "Oh? What was it then?" "I think it was the spin cycle!"

2006-11-13 14:27:35 · 27 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

Once upon a time, and far far away, lived a beautiful Queen with
voluptuous breasts. Nick the Dragon slayer knew that the penalty for
his desire would be death should he try to touch them.

One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the
Physician, who was also the King's chief doctor. Horatio the
Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer
to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to
arrange it.

Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme.
The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder
and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed.

Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon
being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident,
Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special
saliva, if applied for several hours, would cure this type of itch,
and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon
Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch.

The King quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. He pronounced
himself loyal and ready for *any* task the king set him to. Horatio
the Physician then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for
the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the
next several hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's
voluptuous and magnificent breasts.

The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon
Slayer left satisfied and touted as a hero. Upon returning to his
chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding
his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied,
Nick the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less and, knowing that
Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King,
with a laugh just told him to get lost.

The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the
same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately
summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer

2006-11-13 14:27:10 · 14 answers · asked by toietmoi 6