Jokes & Riddles - September 2006

god made men first then he had a better idea! what was it?

2006-09-27 03:09:53 · 41 answers · asked by Anonymous

The riddle:
What is special about this mathematical equation:
11 + 2 = 12 + 1

Give logic also. First correct logic gets 10 extra points.
FYI, the answer is not that its a valid mathematical equation. I am looking for something different. What? Just think.

2006-09-27 02:56:46 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous

skid marks on their helmets................yes yes i know ..its horrible and not funny ...just had to share it with someone

2006-09-27 02:54:51 · 19 answers · asked by kathy_madwoman_bates 4

2 flys in the desert decide to rest after a long day's flight.
Not knowing their landmarks, one camps in the but of a woman and the other in her vagina.
The next day the flies awake and ask each other how they slept.
The fly who slept in the but stated "I slept okay, but I kept smelling this foul asss wind!"
The one who slept in the vagina stated "Man I aint get no sleep. This baldhead dude kept peepin in my window and spitting!"

2006-09-27 02:49:51 · 11 answers · asked by superbad~honeydip 4

2006-09-27 02:49:49 · 32 answers · asked by Not Your Friend 2

2 flys in the desert decide to rest after a long day's flight.
Not knowing their landmarks, one camps in the but of a woman and the other in her vagina.
The next day the flies awake and ask each other how they slept.
The fly who slept in the but stated "I slept okay, but I kept smelling this foul asss wind!"
The one who slept in the vagina stated "Man I aint get no sleep. This baldhead dude kept peepin in my window and spitting on me!"

2006-09-27 02:49:29 · 5 answers · asked by superbad~honeydip 4

2006-09-27 02:43:22 · 28 answers · asked by nodding donkey 1

to make up a poem about me and my darling Jon Bonjovi.
It could get you 10 points.
But no dissing him. I love him. My name is Christine
no insulting him please. i want an original poem. no roses are red rubbish, ok..

2006-09-27 02:32:37 · 16 answers · asked by chris w. 7

You know, when you're using the restroom and the toilet water pops up on you!

2006-09-27 02:31:15 · 6 answers · asked by superbad~honeydip 4

I need help with challenge 10 and 12.

2006-09-27 02:21:56 · 1 answers · asked by W V 1

why are there 7 days in a week and why are they named like that? why are there 4 weeks a month, and 12 month a year?
i mean why cant there be 8 days a week?

2006-09-27 02:20:57 · 12 answers · asked by lupus 3

elephants

2006-09-27 02:12:37 · 19 answers · asked by darren v 2

doug

2006-09-27 02:10:17 · 31 answers · asked by darren v 2

My name isn't work
but I come before play
I come after the stone
that grapples for pay

2006-09-27 02:06:46 · 7 answers · asked by stephbarrineau 1

When a Fat girl falls in the forest do the trees laugh?

2006-09-27 01:38:08 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

A woman gets on a city bus. She looks at the driver and holds up one hand.The driver holds up two hands . Next, the woman points up , the driver points down. Then, the woman grabs her breast, the driver grabs his cr-otch. Finally, the woman grabs her butt and gets off the bus.
A curious passenger asked the bus driver what the odd motions were all about.
The driver explained, "The woman is a deaf-mute. She asked me if a bus ride is five cents, and I told her it was ten cents. Next, she asked if the bus was going uptown, and I told her it was going downtown. Then, she asked if the bus was going past the dairy, and I told her it was going past the ballpark......"
The passenger interjected,
"Okay, but why did she grab her butt as she left the bus?" The driver continued, "She replied, Oh $hit, I'm on the wrong bus!"

2006-09-27 01:32:16 · 19 answers · asked by Pd 6

A farmer is giving his wife last-minute instructions before heading to town to do chores.
"That fellow from Sematol will be along this afternoon to
inseminate one of the cows. I've hung a nail by the right stall
so you'll know which one I want him to impregnate."
Satisfied that his wife could understand the instructions, the farmer left for town.
That afternoon, the 'Inseminator' arrives, and the wife
dutifully takes him out to the barn and directly to the stall
with the nail.
"This is the cow right here," she tells him.
"What's the nail for?" the guy asks.
Replies the wife, "I guess it's to hang up your pants."

2006-09-27 01:21:24 · 20 answers · asked by Pd 6

This granny is walking down the street, dragging two garbage bags with her. There's a hole in one of the bags, and every once in a while a $20 bill is flying out of it onto the pavement.
Noticing this, a policeman stops her...."Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag..."
"Damn!" says the granny....."I'd better go back and see if I can still find some. Thanks!"
"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money?" " Did you steal it?"
"Oh, no", says the little old lady. "You see, my back yard backs up to the parking lot of the football stadium. Each time there's a game, a lot of fans come and pee in the bushes, right into my flower beds!"
"So, I go and stand behind the bushes with a big hedge clipper, and each time someone sticks his little thingy through the bushes, I say $20 or off it comes!"
"Hey, good idea!" laughs the cop. "OK, good luck!
By the way, what's in the other bag?"
"Well", says the little old lady, ""not all of them pay up"

2006-09-27 00:44:30 · 14 answers · asked by Pd 6

2006-09-27 00:25:11 · 15 answers · asked by jsbrads 4

Two Ladies of the Night were standing on a street corner talking.
"Have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz"?, asked one Lady.
"No", answered the other, "But I've been swung around by the Boobs"!

2006-09-26 23:58:28 · 19 answers · asked by jfmm 7

Nurse Pritchett was known for getting her instructions mixed up; instead of giving two pills at four o'clock, she would give four pills at two o'clock, and so on.
One evening the Doctor arrives on the floor for his final round of the day. He is startled by one of his patients running down the hallway, hospital gown flopping in the breeze, screaming at the top of his lungs, and being chased by Nurse Pritchett carrying a big pan of boiling water.
The Doctor yells, "Dam* it, Nurse Pritchett, I very distinctly told you to prick his boil"!!

2006-09-26 23:52:33 · 13 answers · asked by jfmm 7

2006-09-26 23:41:43 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

what grows in winter
dies in summer
and grows roots upwards??

2006-09-26 23:28:47 · 38 answers · asked by Happyworms 4

a man died and his wife called the newspaper to place an obituary."this is what i want to print; 'george is dead'."
the clerk said, "well ma'am, it's going to be $40 for 6 words minimum..."
she replied, "ok,then change it to 'george is dead, pontiac for sale' "

2006-09-26 22:38:49 · 20 answers · asked by duhman 3

BEST question JOKE gets 10 pt.
i've read this one the other day, a lady post it:
What do you call a chinese baby born ?
Sum Ting Wong !!
it was awesome.

The joke must be a question starting with [ who, why, when,where,how...etc]
Thanks !!!

2006-09-26 22:23:15 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

If blue=5,
red=3,
yelow=2,
green=7
What is the sum of,
brown+purple+orange?

Will return to answer in 15 minutes.

2006-09-26 21:48:31 · 14 answers · asked by blacksheep0685 1

I have my pricks on the outside.



(No offence meant to anyone folks.)

2006-09-26 21:20:44 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-09-26 21:19:19 · 12 answers · asked by kYLE 2

a businessman gets on the plane and is lucky, he gets to sit next to a gorgeous lady. they say hello and he notices she is reading a manual of sexual statistics,
he asks her about it and she repies,
"this is very interesting. it says that american indians, on average, have the longest penises,
and polish men have, on average, the biggest average diameters.
by the way, my name is julie, what's yours?"
he coolly replies..."tonto pokrzewinski, nice to meet you!"

2006-09-26 21:14:38 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

Used tampons.

2006-09-26 20:45:40 · 12 answers · asked by SHIH TZU SAYS 6