Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

I let her pick her favorite and award the points

2006-08-19 07:28:17 · 15 answers · asked by creative rae 4

Who wants a laugh? Watch this short video about a reporter who is interviewing people with speech defects. Please bear with the first couple of minutes of the video, as it is in a foreign language, until you get to the juicy bits, which need no explanation, and cross all language barriers. It is basically a foreign reporter who cracks up laughing at the sound of his guests' voices.

Ok, of, give me a break already! I never said that this would be politically correct, OK? If you don't want to watch, then don't watch. But for those of you who do, what do you think? I spent many a night laughing at this reporter.

http://www.break.com/movies/holditin2.html

2006-08-19 07:27:41 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-19 07:25:52 · 4 answers · asked by taylor<3 1

Woman's Shootings

A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him.
But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together.

How can this be?

2006-08-19 07:25:19 · 8 answers · asked by Mr T 4

what are three things that a black man cant get:
a black eye
a fat lip
and a job
i think that is it

2006-08-19 06:46:16 · 10 answers · asked by cathy l 2

I met a man with seven wives,
Each wife had seven cats,
Each cat had seven kits,
How many were going to st.ives?

2006-08-19 06:38:08 · 22 answers · asked by lillynolilly 2

2006-08-19 06:33:27 · 10 answers · asked by Whos that girl... 1

I have one, you have one.
If you remove the first letter, a bit remains.
If you remove the second, bit still remains.
After much trying, you might be able to remove the third one also, but it remains.
It dies hard!

2006-08-19 06:30:42 · 9 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

http://www.lostbum.com/funnyvideos.php?subaction=showfull&id=1153596279&archive=&start_from=&ucat=1&

2006-08-19 06:21:58 · 38 answers · asked by XXSEXY66XX 3

2006-08-19 06:06:19 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-19 05:56:11 · 13 answers · asked by diane 4

2006-08-19 05:49:44 · 22 answers · asked by nutcase 1

YRUSTUCK ?

2006-08-19 05:45:55 · 21 answers · asked by lillynolilly 2

i just saw this in the travel section..someone asked what is need to travel to mexico and another reply a .45, a machete, and plenty of small bills to bribe the policia. i know i cracked up

2006-08-19 05:45:10 · 13 answers · asked by lisa 3

http://www.angryalien.com/0204/exorcistbunnies.html

Tell me what you think from the footage

2006-08-19 05:35:58 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

his money back. He tells the salesman:Its useless-it won't go past 60 up the hill;.The salesman says whats wrong with that?. The Bloke says:I live at no 83.

2006-08-19 05:28:03 · 14 answers · asked by lillynolilly 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Hl8w-zms8M

2006-08-19 05:06:33 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

"All we are is dust in the wind dude!"

2006-08-19 04:50:58 · 44 answers · asked by violet46 3

A sweet little boy surprized his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud.
He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee.
The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army men her grandson plays with in the bottom of her cup. Puzzled she asks, "Honey, why would three little green army men be in the bottom of my cup?
Her grandson replies, "You know grandma, it's like on the TV commercial, "The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!"

Did I make you smile?
SmileyCat : )

2006-08-19 04:40:45 · 12 answers · asked by SmileyCat : ) 4

1 road leads to a golden palace where all your dreams come true. 1 road leads to a forest where a slow and painful death awaits. These roads meet at a fork. There are two Indians at the fork. One always lies and one is always 100% truthful. You may only ask 1 Indian 1 question to determine which road to take to the wonderful place. You don't know which is which (remember, you can only ask 1 question of 1 Indian - and no run-on questions - it's 1 straightforward question). I'll post the answer later if no one has gotten it and 10 points to first correct answer who explains why! You must explain why to get credit!

2006-08-19 04:31:10 · 13 answers · asked by tagi_65 5

A man was sitting reading his paper when his wife hit him round the head
with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" the man asked.
The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on
it that I found in your pants pocket"
The man then said "When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name
of the horse I bet on"
The wife apologised and went on with the housework.

Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the
head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
"Your horse phoned".

2006-08-19 04:27:22 · 35 answers · asked by Diezel 4

2006-08-19 04:20:40 · 8 answers · asked by girlperson 2

2006-08-19 04:18:12 · 8 answers · asked by CHRISTINA P 2

What is the best limmerick you have hear. I will not give you the points if it is from John Valby (Dr. Dirty), I know all of those.

Here's one to get you thinking...

There once was a man from Nantucket,
whose c**k was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin, as he wiped of his chin,
if my ear were a c**t, I would f**k it.

Good luck.

2006-08-19 04:16:51 · 10 answers · asked by Bigbaddad 2

there are 8 apples all of 5 grams except 1which is six grams. u r provided with a two side weighing machine in u can weight only twice. how will u find the 6 grams apple with all these?

2006-08-19 04:11:43 · 17 answers · asked by DV 1

I decided maybe the instrucciones for the valvula de llenado were proving to be a little too difficult for this clown to savvy, know what I mean? So my husband asks if I turned the paper over and read it in English. HEY!
If you are not bi-lingual, and you are experiencing some difficulty with instructions, you should try this!

2006-08-19 04:09:20 · 12 answers · asked by ? 6

2006-08-19 04:06:42 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-19 03:44:36 · 9 answers · asked by Bruce B 4

2006-08-19 03:14:12 · 14 answers · asked by pradee 1

A man was sitting on his porch one afternoon when he noticed that his neighbor, a blonde, went out to her mailbox, opened it, and returned to her home empty handed.

About five minutes later, he saw the blonde again. She checked the mailbox and once again, returned to her house empty handed.

She did this two more times before the man decided to ask her about it. "Why do you keep coming out to your mailbox every five minutes?" the man asked.

"Because," replied the blonde, "my computer keeps telling me that I've got mail!"

2006-08-19 03:08:15 · 13 answers · asked by Fatty McButterpants 5