Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

2006-08-19 10:56:25 · 16 answers · asked by powerdiva411 1

Meet me at the end of Love Street. In six days, I’ll praise you and give gratitude. I have no sympathy for fussing and fighting. All I want is to feel just like heaven. So, Stir it up, it’s alright.

~~~THIS IS A RIDDLE !!!!!!~~~~
IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE IF YOU ARE ABLE TO ANSWER IT

2006-08-19 10:49:59 · 14 answers · asked by ♥Saffron♥Daydream♥ 3

Joke: Mother in Law
Filed under: Jokes — admin @ 11:41 am
A woman had 3 girls. One day she decides to test her sons-in-law. She invites the first one for a stroll by the lakeshore, purposely falls in and pretends to be drowning. Without any hesitation, the son-in-law jumps in and saves her.

The next morning, he finds a brand new Toyota car in his driveway with this message on the windshield…

“Thank you!
Your mother-in-law who loves you!

A few days later, the lady does the same thing with the second son-in-law. He jumps in the water and saves her also. She offers him a new Honda car with the same message on the windshield…

Thank you!
Your mother-in-law who loves you!

A few days later, she does the same thing again with the third son-in-law. While she is drowning, the son-in-law looks at her without moving an inch and thinks:

”Finaly! It’s about time that this old witch dies!

The next morning, he receives a brand new Ferrari car with this message…

THANK YOU!
Your father-in-law.

2006-08-19 10:48:21 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Its a joke and its sick

2006-08-19 10:42:44 · 15 answers · asked by Hitman 4

2006-08-19 10:40:26 · 11 answers · asked by zoe s 2

2006-08-19 10:38:51 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-19 10:36:31 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her Husband’s sex drive.

‘What about trying Viagra?’ asks the doctor.

Not a chance’ says Mrs. Murphy. “He won’t even take an aspirin for a headache.”

‘No problem,’ replies the doctor. ‘Drop it into his coffee,he won’t even taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how you got on.’

A week later Mrs. Murphy returns to the doctor and he inquires as to how things went.

‘Oh it was terrible, just terrible doctor.’

What happened?’ asks the doctor.

‘Well I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table, at the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to make wild passionate love to me on the tabletop. It was terrible!

‘What was terrible?’ said the doctor, ‘Was the sex not good?’

‘Oh no doctor, the sex was the best I’ve had in 25 years… but I’ll never be able to show my face in McDonald’s again!’

2006-08-19 10:34:45 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

Ok hears the deal! For 10 points I want everyone to guess how long it will take me to empty a very popular sex shop. Me and My girlfriend will rush in with Video cammeras and try to interview everyone with "Press" ID cards we bought. How many seconds until we are the only people left in the shop? Cloesest bet wins 10 points! Happy Betting!

2006-08-19 10:23:59 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

the other one died of an yeast infection

2006-08-19 10:04:29 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

Hey, so I need a laugh. Tell me a joke, will ya? And if I think yours is the best, you get ten points. Win-win situation, mate.

2006-08-19 09:48:59 · 12 answers · asked by AmandaGurl<3 5

Okayy My friend said that we were going to have a pick-up line war tomorrow, lol soo i need ALL THEE pick up lines you got and of course give me your best ones! The ones with the best pick up lines will get the 10 points!! Thanksss guyss! yall are always the greatest!! now get lookin for those pick up liness!!

2006-08-19 09:36:24 · 10 answers · asked by HollaBack 2

???????????????????????/

2006-08-19 09:07:59 · 32 answers · asked by theophilus 5

i seem to goo through stages sometimes it would be high
then it would be gigllly and
you dont hear at all its like a snigger

i dont no what catagpry to put this in but i think this one is slightly appropriete

2006-08-19 08:48:27 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-19 08:35:11 · 5 answers · asked by Blue POOP 1

Question

A man was found murdered on Sunday morning. His wife immediately called the police. The police questioned the wife and staff and got these alibis:
The Wife said she was sleeping.
The Cook was cooking breakfast.
The Gardener was picking vegetables.
The Maid was getting the mail.
The Butler was cleaning the closet.

The police instantly arrested the murdered. Who did it and how did they know?

there will be more comeing soon...

2006-08-19 08:18:04 · 16 answers · asked by Mr T 4

Question:

A man leaves home , he makes three left turns and returns home to find 2 masked men waiting on him ! Who are the masked men ?

2006-08-19 08:13:53 · 7 answers · asked by Mr T 4

2006-08-19 08:11:52 · 21 answers · asked by hivi f 2

Why couldn't the housewife find gloves big enought to fit her?

2006-08-19 08:10:36 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

What did the musician do when someone put his trumpet in the freezer?

2006-08-19 08:09:37 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

What leafy green vegetable is bad for you?

2006-08-19 08:08:53 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous

Which kind of snake doesn't multiply rapidly?

2006-08-19 08:08:20 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

When is an airplane not an airplane?

2006-08-19 08:04:45 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

What gets harder to catch, the faster you run?

2006-08-19 08:04:02 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

How can you tell dogwood?

2006-08-19 08:00:25 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

Once there was this guy from Glasgow who took a vacation to Aberdeen. While there, he met up with a prostitute. He got down & dirty with her. Afterwards, the prostitute said: "£100 pounds." The guy said: "No, here is £200." The prostitute responded: "You're so kind." Some days pass, and the guy met up with the same prostitute again and had sex again. The prostitute asked for £100, but the guy again says: "No, here's £200." The prostitute says: "You're so kind." More days pass, and the guy met up with the prostitute one last time to have sex. The prostitute says: "£100, please." The guy slaps her and hands her £200. The prostitute says: " you're so kind. Where are you from?" Guy says: "I'm from Glasgow." The prostitute says: "I am from there too." The guy says: "I know, your mum sent me to give you £600."

2006-08-19 07:48:20 · 7 answers · asked by Pd 6

and it hasn't affect me, affected me, afected me, affected me, affected me, affected me, affected me, affected me, affected me, affected me, affected me, affected me. if you swollowed a record would it affect you, affect you, affect you, affect you, affect you .

2006-08-19 07:42:55 · 17 answers · asked by Flash Gordon 2

A man is walking in a rain storm. He has no umbrella, and no hat. His clothes are soaked but his head is dry. How is this possible?

2006-08-19 07:39:49 · 9 answers · asked by This Girl Luvs Jesus! 1

You agitating my dots?

2006-08-19 07:33:55 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

The Bartender

A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of water. The bartender pulls out a gun, and the man walks away happily. Why?

2006-08-19 07:30:55 · 7 answers · asked by Mr T 4