Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

2006-08-19 17:24:44 · 13 answers · asked by Chet 3

What has 4 legs, then 2, and then 3 legs.

2006-08-19 17:21:37 · 17 answers · asked by LadyOreo 4

This is a hard one........ first to get it right gets 10 points!!!!!!!

2006-08-19 17:18:46 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man said he loves Peanuts but is allergic to every kind of nut. Why do you think that is?

2006-08-19 17:18:26 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-19 17:11:01 · 9 answers · asked by Chet 3

i love this riddle. my boss told me it since he is a lover of riddles.

2006-08-19 17:06:38 · 9 answers · asked by familyguyfr3ak 2

man and son have a wreck man dies son lives but needs sugery.surgeon comes in and says i cant opperate on this boy hes my son .who is the surgeon?

2006-08-19 16:59:47 · 30 answers · asked by rosebud123 1

Imagine you are in a room, no doors windows or anything; how do you get out?

2006-08-19 16:56:34 · 18 answers · asked by girlnblack 3

Which is the odd one out:

First Second Third Forth Fifth Sixth Seventh Eighth

2006-08-19 16:53:12 · 11 answers · asked by girlnblack 3

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors.

Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.

One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!," he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him.

"OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?" Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said "On your way, Ma'am."

As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, Butt- Naked, and holding his "You-Know- What" in his hand.

"Oh, good grief," yelled Ethel, "Not that Damn Breathalyzer Test again.!!!"

2006-08-19 16:45:20 · 11 answers · asked by mrs_poohbear1973 2

also no killing a child

2006-08-19 16:42:29 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

…and other Celine Dion jokes.

The Humane Society said, “Kill ’em or let ’em go, but stop torturing the poor creatures!”

2006-08-19 16:37:59 · 9 answers · asked by blooutflash 3

You gotta joke? I need to laugh I had a rough day pleeeeeeeease somebody make me laugh!!!!

2006-08-19 16:31:57 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

think about it....... which way is the most "safest" ;) best answerer will get 10 points only looking for one special one

2006-08-19 16:17:58 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-19 16:15:31 · 27 answers · asked by kenny m 3

Theyre a bit gross too:
!: One daythere was 17 year old guy (lets call him Charlie) who was going to take his gf home with him to have sex. He shared a room with his 9 year old brother, and they had bunk beds, Charlie had top, brother had below. Prom night, Charlie& his gf climbed up the bunk bed, where brother was sleeping below. They made code names so brother wouldn't wake up Lettuce=Harder! Tomato=New position. All you could hear was:
Lettuce!
Tomato!
Lettuce!
Tomato!

"Ugghh, You guys! Stop making sandwiches! Ur getting mayonaise all over my face!"
-------
2:
One night a married couple were having sex, and their little boy of 3 years walks in and says: Mommy? What are u and Daddy doing?"The mom replies"Were just baking cakes, honey, go back to sleep." And he does so.2 weeks later, the litle boy asks while havng breakfast:"Mommy, were you and Daddy baking cakes again last night?" Surprised, the mom says"Yes. How did you know?" And the boy replies"I licked the icing off the pillow!

2006-08-19 16:14:59 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

first correct answerer gets 10 points ;) (of course i know the answer lol but do you???

2006-08-19 16:12:31 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

A car's odometer shows 72927 miles, a palindromic number. What are the minimum miles you would need to travel to form another?

2006-08-19 15:58:38 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-19 15:52:22 · 3 answers · asked by Dave 4

Once there was a beautiful woman who loved to work in her vegetable garden. However, no matter what she did, she couldn't get her tomatoes to ripen. Admiring her neighbor's garden, which had beautiful bright red tomatoes, she went one day and inquired of him his secret.
"It's really simple," the old man explained. "Twice each day, in the morning and in the evening, I expose myself in front of the tomatoes and they turn red with embarrassment."
Desperate for the perfect garden, she tried his advice and proceeded to expose herself to her plants twice daily.
Two weeks passed and her neighbor stopped by to check on her progress. "So," he asked, "any luck with your tomatoes?"

"No," she replied excitedly, "but you should see the size of my cucumbers!"

2006-08-19 15:51:58 · 64 answers · asked by Anonymous

Telll me your favorite quote,and why is it your favorite?

2006-08-19 15:51:18 · 16 answers · asked by Pisces 2

correct answerer gets 10 points ;)

2006-08-19 15:46:37 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in
>their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers
>strewn all around the front yard.
>The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and
>there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even
>bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw
>rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly
>blaring on a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys
>and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink,
>breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide,
>dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and
>a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
>He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of
>clothes, looking for his wife He was worried she might be ill, or that
>something serious had happened He was met with a small trickle of water as
>it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he
>found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of
>toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror
>and walls.
>As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed
>in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and
>asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What
>happened here today?" She again smiled and answered, "You know every day
>when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do
>today?" "Yes," was his incredulous reply. She answered, "Well, today I
>didn't do it."

2006-08-19 15:42:41 · 8 answers · asked by basscatcher 4

What comes before part b.?

2006-08-19 15:24:03 · 7 answers · asked by YEP THAT'S ME.. 3

whole riddle typed?

2006-08-19 15:17:50 · 9 answers · asked by Jim 1

Lets hear some of your best jokes...one liners, lymrics or story jokes, feel like laughing

2006-08-19 14:44:52 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man is in the arctic and finds a man and a woman, naked frozen in a block of ice. He says "My goodness, I've found Adam and Eve!" How does he know it's Adam and Eve???

2006-08-19 14:42:22 · 18 answers · asked by redrosepetal 4

I don't mean possible chance of bacteria, I mean like calories, like that. If you can compare them to normal grocery store grapes that would be nice. Thanks in advance.

2006-08-19 14:37:01 · 4 answers · asked by Brian.E 2

I live in Augusta, near the South Carolina border. Thanks in advance.

2006-08-19 14:35:06 · 3 answers · asked by Brian.E 2

I stumbled across this one. Out of curiosity, I'd like to see what answer you believe to be the correct one, and please be smart and explain to me your reasoning as to why you chose the answer you did (try not to dig yourself in a hole either).

Here we go:

What answer is logically consistent with this question?

A.) This is not the answer
B.) There is no correct answer
C.) A is the only correct answer
D.) B is the only correct answer

2006-08-19 14:30:09 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous