Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

Which "letter" has been removed from these words?

be_d
c_r
g_s
pul_r
s_nly

2006-08-20 04:28:59 · 25 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

2006-08-20 04:27:02 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.


Shut up. You know it's funny.

2006-08-20 04:23:27 · 25 answers · asked by Michael 1

Add a letter to the following three letters to make a word containing ten letters

DIS

2006-08-20 04:18:07 · 10 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

Five men are fishing.

1st man: Wow! That's a huge fish!
2nd man: Watch out for that whirlpool!
3rd man: I've got him in the mesh nets!
4th man: We could get big money from selling that fish!

What is the name of the fifth man?

2006-08-20 04:09:16 · 9 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

2006-08-20 03:54:59 · 14 answers · asked by kris_chris_uk 2

ambton

2006-08-20 03:46:49 · 4 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

Solve the riddle..

2006-08-20 03:24:19 · 13 answers · asked by Ne Obliviscaris 2

2006-08-20 03:07:12 · 14 answers · asked by jjbrooks12 2

What is the longest word in the world?

2006-08-20 03:04:36 · 42 answers · asked by Anonymous

What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?

2006-08-20 02:42:23 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?

2006-08-20 02:29:51 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

First-year students at MedSchool were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body."

As an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing", he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. But
eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and Sucking on it. When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and told them

"The second most important quality is "Observation'". "I stuck my
middle finger in, and sucked on my index finger."

"Now learn to pay attention."

2006-08-20 02:09:08 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

http://www.allbabypics.com/data/media/1/7.jpg
http://www.free-webspace.biz/ubi/fun_cutebabies_27.jpg
http://www.free-webspace.biz/ubi/fun_cutebabies_71.JPG
http://www.free-webspace.biz/ubi/fun_cutebabies_21.jpg
http://www.free-webspace.biz/ubi/fun_cutebabies_9.jpg
http://www.free-webspace.biz/ubi/fun_cutebabies_72.JPG
http://www.thefunnypage.com/candy-babies/3.jpg
http://growabrain.typepad.com/growabrain/images/funny_baby_2.jpg

2006-08-20 02:00:15 · 14 answers · asked by Riya 4

I turn polar bears white
and I will make you cry.
I make guys have to pee
and girls comb their hair.
I make celebrities look stupid
and normal people look like celebrities.
I turn pancakes brown
and make your champane bubble.
If you sqeeze me, I'll pop.
If you look at me, you'll pop.
Can you guess the riddle?
97% of Harvard graduates can not figure this riddle out, but 84% of kindergarten students were able to figure this out in 6 minutes or less. Can you guess the correct answer?


i dont know the answer do you?

2006-08-20 01:59:25 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

Free Time


Ashley saw this ad in a computer magazine.

Come INTER-the-NET with us.
FREE 10-DAY Trial!

Get 1 minute of free time the first day, 2 minutes of free time the second day, 4 minutes of free time the third day, 8 minutes of free time the fourth day, 16 minutes on the fifth day, and so on.

“What good is 1 minute, 2 minutes, or even 4 minutes of time online?” Ashley wondered. “I would need a lot more time than that to find out how good this service could be!”

If Ashley signed up for the 10-day trial of Internet service, how many minutes of free time would she get on the 10th day?

2006-08-20 01:39:31 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-20 01:26:57 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-20 01:20:26 · 22 answers · asked by Polo 7

if a smart blonde and santa claus boh jumped off a bridgge, which one would make a bigger splash?

neither bc they both dont exist.

what do u call a blonde that dies her hair?

artificial intelligence.

haha lovin it or hatin it?

2006-08-20 01:12:05 · 13 answers · asked by ♥ HeartStolen ♥ 2

A woman goes to a family funeral after the death of a relative. While she was there she met a man who she instantly fell in love with and after the funeral she realised that she had failed to get his address or phone number.

Anyway a few days pass and for some reason she ends up killing her sister.

Why (in your opinion) do you think she did that?

2006-08-20 00:52:23 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself 'She'll never go for me carrying on like that,' so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans, and shortly after that they got married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he farted. He 'putted' down one hill and 'putt-putted' up the next.

2006-08-20 00:48:24 · 13 answers · asked by ♥ HeartStolen ♥ 2

A son and father get into a car, they are driving when another car hits them. The father dies and the son goes into hospital. The doctor then says: "I cannot operate on this boy, he's my son" How?

2006-08-20 00:37:07 · 38 answers · asked by twistedstarlight. 2

2006-08-20 00:33:43 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-20 00:32:28 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-20 00:27:20 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

Only one color, but not one size; stuck to the ground, yet easily flies. Present in sun, but not in rain; doing no harm, and feeling no pain. What is it?

2006-08-20 00:06:35 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous

1 - make friends with it
2 - sign it up for an university course
3 - give it a makeover (pimp up my cat?)
4 - propose marriage to it
5 - serve it with mashed potato
6 - claim it is the real Rory Emerald
7 - take it to the movies
8 - ask it to explain DNA
9 - pretend it is a stick insect
10 - teach it to wash the dishes
11 - tie it's shoelaces
12 - do it's buttons up
13 - give it a roller skate
14 - teach it to drive a car
15 - learn how to mambo with it
16 - lick postage stamps at it

2006-08-20 00:05:50 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous

A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket.
He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded the blonde "stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!". He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats.
When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said "Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!" He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car.
When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires.
Now she's laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire.
He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.

2006-08-19 23:58:44 · 8 answers · asked by ♥ HeartStolen ♥ 2

I can run constantly without ever getting tired.
When I run, I frustrate people and drive them crazy,
Yet I don't even have to move to irritate you.
What am I?

2006-08-19 23:56:39 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

This guy living on the 20th floor in an apartment building go to work in a downtown store. He always went into the elevator on the 20th floor and rode down to the entrance (1st floor). When he came home he always rode the elevator from the entrance and up to the 8th floor. He walked out of the elevator and walked the stairs up to his apartment on the 20th floor.

Why din't he take the elevator all the way up to his apartment at 20th floor?

2006-08-19 23:44:30 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous