Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

Teacher: If "can't" is short for "cannot," what is "don't" short for?

2006-08-20 09:02:12 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

What is the shortest month?

2006-08-20 08:58:30 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

Seriously, this is a joke question.
THIS IS A JOKE NOTHING SERIOUS.

2006-08-20 08:56:10 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-20 08:51:56 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-20 08:47:03 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

How can you spell them without any o's?

2006-08-20 08:45:15 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

and if you did, would you be a sugar poof?

I'm not sure I would, although his yellow mane is attractive... and £10K would buy a lot of Weetabix to take the taste away...

for any yankies please click link to see the HM...

http://www.sausagenet.org/publichtml/sausagenet/cube/hunnymonster.jpg

2006-08-20 08:30:11 · 10 answers · asked by zebra 3

Eight and five, last name and given,
We are one six six six even;
The first in cow, the last in oxen
Three in damsel, three in vixen.

Question: What are we called?

2006-08-20 08:28:38 · 18 answers · asked by Elliot Ness 2

you never answer yes to?

2006-08-20 08:23:56 · 13 answers · asked by jussmessin 2

OK, NOW THAT I GOT YOUR ATTENTIOn, MY REAL QUESTION IS:

What's The Word I'm Looking For?
When someone is joking around with someone (making fun of) but meaning it as a joke and the other person takes it seriously, what does that make him? i think it starts with an s..... please i need your help ♥

2006-08-20 08:04:16 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-20 07:56:58 · 22 answers · asked by lillynolilly 2

Stop Laughing now... ahh haa haa

2006-08-20 07:53:05 · 11 answers · asked by Michael 1

im always in front of you, but can never be seen.
just think of tomorrow and you'll know what i mean

2006-08-20 07:38:34 · 49 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-20 07:15:23 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous

2 trains
The first travelling at 120 mph from London to Cardiff ((140 miles )
Leaves London at 9.10 am BST.
The second train travelling at 95mph from Cardiff to London leaves Cardiff at 8.20am BST,
When they meet which train is closest to London.
1 or 2

2006-08-20 07:11:52 · 13 answers · asked by postypaul 3

.......a visitor asked the Director
what criterion was used to define whether or not a patient should
be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her
to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use
the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

Ok, so what do you think a normal person would do?

2006-08-20 07:06:55 · 18 answers · asked by Led*Zep*Babe 5

Foreigners: Dam. I love been a foreigner, some of us get married as arrangement and some as family loyalty. My wife (Dam)

Anyway… We went to a restaurant in London, whilst I was waiting for my our meals, the fork drop on the floor, as I was about to pick it up, the waiter ran over and said “never mind sir I will replace it with a new one”

I then accidentally drop the serviette on the floor, the waiter again rush over and again said “never mind sir I will replace it with a new one”

A few moments later I look to my right where my wife was sitting on the edge of the chair…
Well, well, well.

2006-08-20 07:06:24 · 21 answers · asked by Michael 1

Gimme your best joke

2006-08-20 06:50:50 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-20 06:38:30 · 19 answers · asked by spackler 6

Any kind of joke,

2006-08-20 06:30:42 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-20 06:29:49 · 13 answers · asked by lillynolilly 2

please share but remember they should be in the limit of decency coz i am eating at the moment(got it?)!!!!!!!!!

2006-08-20 06:01:55 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous

I would tell you mine, but it's far too rude for this time of day...

2006-08-20 05:42:31 · 21 answers · asked by ? 3

SIGN IN A STORE WINDOW
>
>
>
> "WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 AL QAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE
> SINGLE
> AMERICAN"
>
>
> This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in
> Philadelphia . You are probably outraged at the thought of such an
> inflammatory statement. One would think that anti-hate groups from all
> across the country would be marching on this business , and that the
> National Guard might have to be called to keep the angry crowds back. But,
> perhaps in these stressful times one might be tempted to let the
> proprietors simply make their statement . . We are a society which holds
> Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty. And after all, it is
> just a sign.
>
> You may ask what kind of business would dare post such a sign?
>
>

2006-08-20 05:38:17 · 7 answers · asked by Sangy . 4

I'm trying to teach my 13 yr. old son that PC's can help you with any answer to any question that you might have if you use it to it's full capabilities, and not just ot play games on...

He actually needs this riddle answered in order to get passage to a certain game that he's into now days.

My first is in the well, but not the sea
My second, in "I", but not "me"
My third is in flies, but insects not found
My last is in earth, but not in the ground
My whole when stolen from you, causes you death

2006-08-20 05:35:12 · 9 answers · asked by Ricardo C 4

2006-08-20 05:26:53 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

Boudreaux, dressed in his best Western attire, acting like an ole cowboy went into a bar down dere in Thibodaux, and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.
She turned to Boudreaux and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy"?
He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life down on dat ranch in Houma, Louisiana, herdin' dem cows around". He then asked her what she was.
She replied, "I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women. When I eat, shower, watch TV; everything seems to make me think of women"!
A little while later a couple sat down next to Boudreaux, and the lady asked, "Oh! Are you a real cowboy"?
Boudreaux replied, "Well, I always taut I was, But I just found out dat I am a lesbian,me".

2006-08-20 05:11:18 · 7 answers · asked by jfmm 7

Bought a waterbed, but had to take it back, as when we had fun, the wife and I were only drifting apart.

2006-08-20 04:57:31 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-20 04:51:47 · 21 answers · asked by lillynolilly 2

........................................a ****!!!

2006-08-20 04:36:34 · 34 answers · asked by nicola 3