The funnest joke or riddle will get 10 points?

Question

Any kind of joke,

Answer 1

1. ok, there was a blonde, a brunette and a red head standing right in front of sudam husain getting redy to get killed with guns and all. Now u know,none of them wanted to get killed.So the brunette yelled, "Tornado!" and sudam looked back and the brunette ran away. So he looked back at the red and the blonde and this time the red head said "Earthquake!" he looked back, she ran away. so now it was only the blonde standing there and she yelled "FIRE!"

get it??? fire your guns?? hahahaha....4 more go 2 jokes.com


heres another:

2. ok there was a guy walking in the middle of no where when he finally came 2 a little shack where there was a guy sellin donkeys. the man asked the guy there if he could borrow a donkey to get somewhere. "ok but there are religius donkeys, to make it stop , u need 2 say jesus christ and 2 make it go you need to say praise the lord." the man took one of the donkeys and was off. he was riding for a while when suddently the donkey started galloping ... torwards a cliff ! so the man screamed: "JESUS CHRIST ,JESUS CHRIST!!!" The donkey stopped at the edge of the cliff and the guy said "pffffewf! praise the lord!"

i just thought those were pretty funny.

heres another blonde joke:

3. theres a brunette, a blonde, and a red being chased by the police, so they decide 2 jump into a pet shop. the brunette hid in a dog cage , the red in a cat cage and the blonde in a patato sack. the police came in, shook the dog cage, the brunette said "ruff, ruff" they shook the cat cage, the red sad "meow, meow" and they finally shook the patato sack and the blonde went "PATATO PATATO"

hahahahahahahaha...

Answer 2

2 points

Answer 3

There is 3 guys that go out in the woods and 1 guy falls into a hole. Luckily they have a cell phone and calls the police. When he gets there, the 2 guys say, "Our friend fell in a hole and we can't tell if he's alive or dead. So the police officer says," Oh ,that's a problem but I think I have a solution. So he takes out his gun and shoots the guy and then he says," Oh, I'm sorry kids, it looks like he's dead.

Answer 4

2 Jews walk into a bar they buy it!!

A fat lady walks into a bar and lifts her arm up to reveal an extremely disgusting patch of arm-pit hair, she then asks "What young man would like to buy me a drink?", a man at the other side of the pub then shouts out "BARTENDER! Give that ballerina a drink!!!". So the guy at the other-side of the pub slams down his money on the counter, and the bartender give her her drink. Then later she asks the pub again while lifting her hairy pit, "Who wants to buy me a drink?". The same guy says "Give that ballerina a drink!!". the bartender give the drink to the man while he gives his money to the bartender. Then the bartender asks, "I understand your drunk, but why are you calling that lady a ballerina?". The man says, "Well any lady that can lift her leg that high must be a ballerina!".

Answer 5

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were out scouting bad guys (or something), when the Lone Ranger has to "tinkle". He goes behind a cactus, and while he's there, Tonto hears him yell "OOOWW!"

Tonto rushes over, and finds that his friend has been bitten by a rattlesnake, right on the end of his...uh... male member. "Oh, Kemosabe," Tonto says, "This is not good."

"I know, Tonto," the Lone Ranger says, "I need you to ride into town, and ask the doctor what to do to save my life!"

So Tonto jumps on Scout (his horse), and rides into town. He finds the doctor, and says, "Lone Ranger bit by rattlesnake. What can I do to save his life?"

The doctor says "well, first you have to suck out all of the poison."

So Tonto goes back to where the Lone Ranger is. When he arrives, the Lone Ranger asks, "what did the doctor say, Tonto?"

"Doctor say you gonna die, Kemosabe."

Answer 6

A Jeanie tells a black guy, Mexican and White guy that they all can have one wish

The Mexican says " I want all my people to be taken care of be happy and move back to mexico and prosper"

Jeanie says... poof...

Black guy says " I want all my people to be taken care of be happy and move back to africa and prosper"

Jeanie says poof... and grants his wish

Then the Jeanie askes the white guy and the white guy says "You mean to tell me that all the blacks and mexicans are out of the states....well, I guess I'll have a coke."



Bye the way, I'm not racist, last g/f was black.. so don't start.. but I have a sense of humor and it was funny when I heard it....lol

Answer 7

Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself 'She'll never go for me carrying on like that,' so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans, and shortly after that they got married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he farted. He 'putted' down one hill and 'putt-putted' up the next. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.

His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, 'Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!' She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and she went to answer the phone.

While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but *ripe* as a rotten egg.

He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and 'rrriiiipppp!' It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another urge coming. He shifted his weight to his other leg and let go. This was a real blue ribbon winner; the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead. While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning them each time with his napkin.

When he heard the 'phone farewells' (indicating the end of his loneliness and freedom) he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. After assuring her he had not, she removed the blindfold and yelled, 'Surprise!'

To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.

Answer 8

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES


A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help
me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it
started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's
finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a
tiger."

Answer 9

Q: Whats the dumbest question you ever heard

A: This one

Thanks for the points

Answer 10

DATING RITUALS

WHITE WOMEN
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.

IRISH WOMEN
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.

ITALIAN WOMEN:
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.

JEWISH WOMEN:
First Date: You get dynamite head.
Second Date: You get more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.

CHINESE WOMEN:
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen.

INDIAN WOMEN
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.

BLACK WOMEN
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.

MEXICAN WOMEN
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later: her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Rio Grande.