please share but remember they should be in the limit of decency coz i am eating at the moment(got it?)!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-20 06:01:55 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
stuff i saw on car bumper stickers
I love animals, they taste great.
EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
All generalizations are false, including this one.
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
2006-08-21 12:21:20 · answer #1 · answered by SURAJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aha!!!! Riddles!!!!!!! Brain teasing riddles. The riddles which always compel us to think that the asker is superior to us in some respects. When I was kid and I used to surprise how those people remember and create such riddles. I used to call them very intelligent, very special, mobile encyclopedia and many more excellent adjectives I used for them. But gradually with the passage of time and personality development, everything became clear. U can also fetch those excellent adjectives for u like supreme, very intelligent, mobile encyclopedia, creative and many more. At my time Internet was not available but now a day, Internet is a rich source of all types of information. The following links will be helpful to u to meet ur need for riddles, brainteasers etc.
http://www.justriddlesandmore.com/
http://www.contestcen.com/kidrid.htm
http://www.dltk-kids.com/games/general_jokes.htm
http://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/braint.htm
http://www.allriddles.com/
http://www.riddlenut.com/
http://www.riddles.com/
http://www.basicjokes.com/riddles.php
http://forum.ebaumsworld.com/showthread.php?t=28479
http://www.humorshack.com/gw/aw/hard-riddles.shtml
http://www.braingle.com/
http://www.onlyriddles.com/
http://www.eduplace.com/math/brain/index.html
http://256.com/gray/teasers/
Please visit the above pages and see if ur appetite for riddles is satiated. Have fun with friends and others. Surprise them with ur creativity. Enjoy.
2006-08-21 08:50:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a decent one!
Jenny's husband, Charley, was a male chauvinist. Even though they both worked full-time, he never helped around the house. Housework was woman's work!
But one evening Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed one load of clothes in the washer and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished--something's up.
It turns out that Charley had read an article that said wives who worked full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to be romantic. The night went well and the next day she told her office friends all about it.
"We had a great dinner. Charley even cleaned up. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed the evening."
"But what about afterward?" asked her friends.
"Oh, that was perfect too. Charley was too tired!"
2006-08-21 10:36:50 · answer #3 · answered by Electric 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spelling to get into Heaven
A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates.
She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her "Hello - How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?" "You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.
"Which word?" the woman asked.
"Love."
The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.
While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. "I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"
"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.
"Which word?" her husband asked.
"Czechoslovakia."
Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry... There will be Hell to pay later!
2006-08-21 01:54:26 · answer #4 · answered by Kappy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
An Indian Sardar on his motor bike, riding, with his beautiful wife
on the pillion. A wisecrack remarks " the beauty and the beast"
Sardar takes a U turn, comes to the wisecrack, and asks - How dare u call my wife a beast ?
2006-08-20 13:25:03 · answer #5 · answered by 50+Brat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up - we must find & stop her!.
2006-08-23 04:12:47 · answer #6 · answered by Vicky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, 'Take what you want.'"
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
2006-08-20 13:20:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A surd and his wife are sitting in their garden and enjoying their morning tea, suddenly a crow flies over the surd and poops on his shirt. The wife terrified runs inside the house and brings a tissue paper. Sardar gets really annoyed on seeing a tissue paper in his wife's hand and yells " Kawua to chala gaya, ab kiski pochoon??........................kindaa dirty but funny, isn't it?
2006-08-21 11:56:15 · answer #8 · answered by amit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, there was a blonde, a brunette and a red head standing right in front of sudam husain getting redy to get killed with guns and all. Now u know,none of them wanted to get killed.So the brunette yelled, "Tornado!" and sudam looked back and the brunette ran away. So he looked back at the red and the blonde and this time the red head said "Earthquake!" he looked back, she ran away. so now it was only the blonde standing there and she yelled "FIRE!"
get it??? fire your guns?? hahahaha....4 more go 2 jokes.com
2006-08-20 13:12:44 · answer #9 · answered by Tigers Gal! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A hopeful suitor dropped into a computer-dating center and registered his qualifications. He wanted someone who enjoyed water sports, liked company, favored formal attire, and was very small. The computer operated faultlessly. It sent him a penguin.
2006-08-20 13:08:44 · answer #10 · answered by Jerry M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋