clean jokes for a 4 year old?

Question

I let her pick her favorite and award the points

Answer 1

Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling very well!
Why wouldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have any guts!

Answer 2

DEMOCRATIC

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.



REPUBLICANISM

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?



SOCIALIST

You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.



COMMUNIST

You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.



CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.



BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.



AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.



FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.



JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.



GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.



ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.



RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.



TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.



IRAQI CORPORATION

You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.



POLISH CORPORATION

You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.



BELGIAN CORPORATION

You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.



FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.



CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders

I got sent this one

Answer 3

A little boy on his trycicle asked the man in the pickup next to him if he wanted to race. The man agreed, so when the stoplight turned red, he went 10 mph. The bot went back a little, then came back next to the man. him. So he went 30 mph. But he was still there. 50, then 80 mph, and the boy was still right next too him. So the man sped up to 100 mph. The boy was still there! The man pulled to a stop, as did the little boy.
The boy was breathing hard. The man asked him how he did that.
"gasp... gasp... My shirt was...stuck in your door!" the boy replied.

Answer 4

Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 5

What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?
Tyrannosaurus Tex.


How do you make a hot dog stand?
Steal its chair.


What has 6 eyes but can't see?
3 blind mice

Answer 6

How do you make a kleenex dance?

you put a little boogie in it.

Even better for a boy because you can blow your nose in the middle of the joke which makes it both funny and gross

Answer 7

Why did you chicken cross the road???
To get to the other side
sorry im not very good at joke but i tried

Answer 8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. How did the cactus cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens butt

Answer 9

Q: Why did the boy get embarassed when he opened the fridge?


A: He saw the salad dressing!

Answer 10

If an athlete gets Athlete's Foot, what does an Astronaut get?