Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

if it make me laugh i'll vote u as the best answer so u could
have 10 more points

2006-08-12 15:00:13 · 14 answers · asked by Princess 2

Tequila Christmas Cake

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle tequila
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the tequila to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the tequila again.
To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar.
Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the tequila is still OK.
Try another cup ... just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the frigging fruit up off floor.
Mix on the turner.
If the dried fruit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the tequila to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt or something.
Check the tequila.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
Finish the tequila and wipe counter with the cat.

CHERRY MISTMAS!

2006-08-12 14:43:10 · 22 answers · asked by mka1369 2

2006-08-12 14:08:48 · 6 answers · asked by scruff_dogg76 1

N-E-S-G-A-Z-I-M-A

2006-08-12 14:07:42 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

Just one word, the funnier, the better.

2006-08-12 14:07:27 · 25 answers · asked by ESKORBUTIN 4

2006-08-12 14:05:19 · 13 answers · asked by redchili68 4

2006-08-12 14:03:34 · 18 answers · asked by redchili68 4

2006-08-12 14:01:51 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

got any good dumb bloned jokes i know im a bloned but i dont care

2006-08-12 14:00:22 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

A new Marine Captain was assigned to an outfit in a
remote post in the African desert. During his first
inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched
up behind the mess tent.

He asks the Sergeant why the camel is kept there.

The nervous sergeant said, "Well sir, as you know,
there are 250 men here on the post and no women.
And sir, sometimes the men have "urges". That's why
we have Molly The Camel."

The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this,
but I understand about "urges", so the camel can
stay."

About a
month later, the Captain starts having his
own "urges". Crazy with passion, he asks the
Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a
ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the
ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild, insane
sex with the camel.

When he's done, he asks the Sergeant,
"Is that how the men do it?",

" No not really, sir... They usually just ride the
camel into town where the girls are."

2006-08-12 13:51:05 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-12 13:42:05 · 10 answers · asked by Caitybell 1

This guy gets thrown in jail, when this person goes to visit him the cop told this person only immediate family could see him,so this person was asked how the guy in jail was related, the person responded by saying: Sisters and brothers I have none, but that mans father is my fathers son. Who was the visitor?

2006-08-12 13:36:27 · 17 answers · asked by ntarldr 1

Your hands must be in the correct typing position!

2006-08-12 13:36:20 · 9 answers · asked by amanda_loo_hoo 2

Its a name of a woman, ends with UNT.....what is it?

2006-08-12 13:34:05 · 8 answers · asked by steph 3

Which organization can "Boast" these staggering statistics?
I will give you the answer in about an hour!

-36 have been accused of spousal abuse
-7 have been arrested for fraud
-19 have been accused of writing bad checks
-117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
- 3 have done time for assualt
-71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
- 14 have been arrested for drug related charges
-8 have been arrested for shoplifting
-21 are currently defendants in lawsuits
-84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year

So what organization is it?

2006-08-12 13:32:11 · 19 answers · asked by The girl in pink 4

It took 7 men, working 16 hours a day, 5.5 days to complete building a wall. How many days will one man take to complete building the same wall, if he works for 8 hours a day?

2006-08-12 13:27:42 · 20 answers · asked by ...o(_insert witty comment_) 3

u walk and meet a y intersection. there is a troll on each path. one troll always lies, one is completely honest. one path leads to a happy life, one path leads to instant death. you may ask one troll one question ONLY to find out which path goes to prosperity. what is the question? the only answer i can think of it to turn around and go back home.

2006-08-12 13:23:06 · 12 answers · asked by kpajamas613 3

Who is it?

2006-08-12 13:18:18 · 7 answers · asked by Bob 3

I run over fields and woods all day. Under the bed at night I sit not alone. My tongue hangs out, up and to the rear, awaiting to be filled in the morning. What am I?

( i know already )

2006-08-12 12:54:18 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous

1)With Food it lives, With Water it dies. What is it?

2)Some months have 31 days, how many have 28 days?

3)Forward I am heavy, Backward I am not.

4)What happens four times in every week,
Twice in every month, but only once in a year?

5)What is at the beginning of eternity, the end of time, the beginning of every end, and the end of every place?

Have fun!

2006-08-12 12:51:57 · 20 answers · asked by Summer Rain 4

turnmeondeadman....

why do people say that he died?

2006-08-12 12:51:53 · 12 answers · asked by Fightoffyourdemons 1

1)There is a word that I know,Six letters it contains,
Subtract one and twelve is what remains. What is it?

2)The more of this you take, the more you leave behind. What is it?

3)What can eat rocks, rust metal,level mountains and puch clouds across the sky?

4)What is yellow in the inside, white hard on the outside and stolen from life.

5)What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment, and never in an hour?

Good Luck!

2006-08-12 12:40:42 · 13 answers · asked by Summer Rain 4

I have a drink next to me.
It's in a glass.
What is it?

2006-08-12 12:31:42 · 31 answers · asked by hateful_cow 1

I will probably have another tomorrow as they so nice.

What am I talking about?

Can't wait to see your answers as your all nuts lol!

2006-08-12 12:30:34 · 15 answers · asked by hateful_cow 1

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

2006-08-12 12:22:42 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

I am a bus driver. Remember that I have 37 people on my bus now. I drop off 16 and 11 come on the bus. Then I drop off 23 and 18 come on the bus. At the next stop I drop off 15 and 34 come on the bus. Now what is the color of the bus driver's eyes.

2006-08-12 12:05:20 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-12 11:55:04 · 24 answers · asked by bear 1

2006-08-12 11:50:02 · 6 answers · asked by 42ITUS™ 7

RIDDLE :

A women shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But five minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner. How can this be?

2006-08-12 11:45:14 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

i mean really good. or any prank call ideas

2006-08-12 11:43:20 · 8 answers · asked by ניקול 4