Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

What i s the longest word according too the to the Oxford Dictionary

2006-08-12 11:35:39 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous

What falls but never breaks?
What breaks but never falls?

2006-08-12 11:22:30 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

A guy walks into a bar and sees the bartender has a little man playing a piano on the counter. The mans like cool "Where did you get him?" The bartender replies " There is a genie outside who will grant your wish" The guy walks outside and asks for a million bucks but gets a million ducks. He walks in angrily and says I wished for a million bucks but i got ducks. The bartender says you think I asked for a 12 inch pianist.

2006-08-12 11:18:06 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

finish the sentence by using the same word in the blanks.
the _________ doctor was _______ because he had _______.

2006-08-12 11:17:09 · 13 answers · asked by Smile =]™ 4

2006-08-12 11:10:48 · 18 answers · asked by ? 2

A woman takes a lover home during the

day while her husband is at work.





Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees
them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch.





The woman's husband also comes home.





She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realising

that the little boy is in there already.





The little boy says, "Dark in here."





The man says, "Yes, it is."





Boy - "I have a football."





Man - "That's nice."





Boy - "Want to buy it?"





Man - "No, thanks."





Boy - "My dad's outside."





Man - "OK, how much?"





Boy - "$250"





In the next few weeks, it happens again that the

boy and the lover are in the cupboard together.





Boy - "Dark in here."





Man - "Yes, it is."





Boy - "I have football boots."





The lover, remembering the last time,

asks the boy, "How much?"





Boy - "$750"





Man - "Sold."





A few days later, the boys' father says to the boy, "Grab your

boots and ball, let's go outside and have a game of football.





The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and boots."





The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"





Boy -"$1,000."





The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends

like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm

going to take you to church and make you confess."





They go to the church and the father makes the little boy

sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.





The boy says, "Dark in here."





The priest says, "Don't start that again.

You're in my cupboard now!"

2006-08-12 11:09:01 · 15 answers · asked by Pickonme 3

It is said that in this establishment
a handshake and 25,000 bucks
turned a group of wild "horses"
loose on a field.

2006-08-12 10:57:38 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

Skies' flowers and skulls collided with easels, paints and canvases when a visiting painter was inspired by the splendor of this town's landscape.

2006-08-12 10:44:20 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

Don't let the name fool you
the rockies ain't the stones you'd have to get over at this
Cow-country clash What is it?

2006-08-12 10:41:13 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

the PERFECT WOMAN of course!

everyone know's the other 2 don't exist!

2006-08-12 10:37:00 · 13 answers · asked by Jan 6

I have a mini deck of cards (52 no wild cards).
I picked one card.
CAN YOU GUESS WHAT CARD IT IS?
I'll take a pic with my phone and post it to my 360 page after the question is resolved, to show I have the card and this is ligit.
So, Give it your best try, Reach out with that psychic mojo you got ppl!!
I'm concentrating real hard.....

2006-08-12 10:29:36 · 26 answers · asked by deleted 4

Don't be mad, my Indian friend told it to me!
The Lone Ranger and Tonto are in a bar, when a man runs in to say "Whoever's white horse is out there; well, he just fainted from the heat". The lone Ranger and Tonto ran out side and gave Silver some water, but he still looked pretty hot. So the Lone Ranger asked if Tonto would run around and around Silver, and cause a breeze, and cool Silver off. Well, that started to work, and the Lone Ranger went back inside to pay the bill. Just then a man came running inside! "What is it, my horse?" The Lone Ranger asked. "No sir, you just left your injun running!" HA!

2006-08-12 10:02:12 · 13 answers · asked by Laurie 3

You are in a room with one chair in the center of the room. The room is to small to lie down in or stand up in. The walls are covered in markings left by desperate men. You will have rats for company, and one window so that you can see the world that has passed you by. How can you survive only one month? Explain.

2006-08-12 09:55:57 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-12 09:37:17 · 5 answers · asked by hipshod420 2

2006-08-12 09:18:08 · 6 answers · asked by Jon W 1

One rainy day, my cousin Robert found a dead body lying next to a strange package. He could not see any footprints in the area. Because of the temperature of the body, Robert knew that the man had only been dead for less than one hour.

1. What was the package?
2. How did the man get there?

2006-08-12 09:12:24 · 13 answers · asked by Byron T 1

i just wanted to see if you would click on here if your were a girl

2006-08-12 08:52:55 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

What is it that when you take away the whole, you still have some left over?

2006-08-12 08:41:39 · 11 answers · asked by maria f 2

G L A R N

2006-08-12 08:34:00 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

Clem Walton's father is older than his grand-father. How is this possible?
----------------
I'll list my source later. It's from a different book than I've been using.

2006-08-12 08:33:21 · 7 answers · asked by Bob 3

1. Name two animals with a tail infront of them as well as behind. Their names must both have 3 syllables.

2. The one who makes it doesn't need it
the one that buys it doesn't keep it
the one that sells it doesn't use it
the one that's using it never knows it being used
What is it?

3. Can you spell the word "candy" with only 2 letters? [tricky]

Answer all 3 riddles for best answer selection.
Good luck.

2006-08-12 08:29:02 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

I live above a star, and yet I never burn,
I have eleven neighbors, and yet none of them turn,
I am visited in sequence, first, last or in between,
PRS (& sometimes Q) are my initials, now tell me what I mean.

2006-08-12 08:25:19 · 13 answers · asked by maria f 2

anyone want to try...

2006-08-12 08:17:08 · 8 answers · asked by teruterubozu 2

why do you close your eyes when we make love

2006-08-12 08:15:58 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

World War III

Bush and Powell were sitting in a bar. A guy walked in and asked the
barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?"
The barman said, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walked over and said, "Hello. What are you guys doing?"

Bush said, "We're planning World War III."

The guy asked, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush said, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Afghans and one
bicycle repairman."

The guy exclaimed, "Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!"

Bush turned to Powell and said, "See, I told you no one would worry
about the 10 million Afghans!"

1-10 with yer best comment!

SmileyCat : )

2006-08-12 08:12:48 · 11 answers · asked by SmileyCat : ) 4

2006-08-12 08:11:26 · 18 answers · asked by SAMMIE JO 1

what do youthink about theese yo momma jokes................ yo momma is so fat that if someone sold her by the pound she would make africa the new richest country in the world. next one............yo momma is so fat that her boobs are so big she has to use whale lifts instead of bras. what do you think are they funny?

2006-08-12 08:09:17 · 13 answers · asked by angel93 1

This dude was was a different country, so he heard about the x-games in america and he wanted to participate. SO he came over and and he too wanted to make a record of motorcycle jumping. So he went and got the biggest Harley Davidson motorcycle to make a jump. That's it. I mean, mmm. I can't aa find anymore stories.

2006-08-12 08:06:51 · 7 answers · asked by I'M GONNA GO PLACES 5

2006-08-12 07:53:40 · 12 answers · asked by rokmonster 2

How many bricks does it take to complete a building made of brick?

2006-08-12 07:46:40 · 14 answers · asked by xxxx 2