Jokes & Riddles - August 2006

You are a contestant on a game show. You have to pick between 3 doors; there's a car behind one, and goats behind the other two (you want a car, obviously). You pick one of the doors. The host, who knows what's behind each door, opens one of the other two doors to reveal a goat.

Now he gives you the choice of either sticking with the door you first picked, or switching to the remaining unopened door. Does one strategy make more sense than the other? Why or why not?

2006-08-15 16:06:21 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?" "This is Heaven, sir," the man answered. "Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked. "Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up." The man gestured, and the gate began..

2006-08-15 15:40:00 · 19 answers · asked by But why is the rum always gone? 6

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess.

The route they were flying had a layover in another city.

Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing.

He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened.

She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied:
"There are only three doors in here," she sobbed,

"One is the bathroom,

One is the closet,



( wait 4 it )



and one has a sign on it that says
'Do Not Disturb'!"

Love & Blessings
Milly

2006-08-15 15:35:30 · 20 answers · asked by milly_1963 7

Buying presents for your wife or for your mother?

2006-08-15 15:34:55 · 7 answers · asked by chilli 4

2006-08-15 15:34:46 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

I'm running out of boat jokes!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=As4gXyvPEH6lXSdgfWC3s2rsy6IX?qid=20060814222255AAcsPs1
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=At2Pr9vlUuk9PzFJ_ic8j9Xsy6IX?qid=20060814223408AAyxKeB
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AoGrQ0NAiIR8JSAZ68sEkfHsy6IX?qid=20060815185246AAfK4OE
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkbB4q.rgXqOPMMUKNJRFAzsy6IX?qid=20060812222104AAfHXy3
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ara84pC.ViXVwMF0EtbF30Xsy6IX?qid=20060813195631AAlodP6
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aufhr.feKTLU6ouSFS1cX5Xsy6IX?qid=20060814200336AAvHyFi



any ideas?

2006-08-15 15:33:44 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous

in a marrige life?

2006-08-15 15:33:24 · 5 answers · asked by chilli 4

Making money or saving money?

2006-08-15 15:14:44 · 18 answers · asked by chilli 4

Pantyhose quiz

Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose?

Now, think about it......

Ready?
ARE YOU SURE???

Answer:
10 little piggies
2 calves ,
1 ***,
and an unknown number of hares.

Now I bet you didn't know that!

2006-08-15 15:11:44 · 26 answers · asked by Mrs. Butler ♥2 B♥ 5

She married and had 13 children. Her husband died.
She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children.
Alas, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, "Lord, they're finally together."
One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?"
The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."

2006-08-15 15:03:40 · 21 answers · asked by Mrs. Butler ♥2 B♥ 5

make lemonade.then find someone whos life gave them vodka, and have a party....any more answers for the question when life gives you lemons.

2006-08-15 14:59:40 · 35 answers · asked by cheesepoofer182 2

riddle&joke

2006-08-15 14:59:35 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-15 14:53:01 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

i want to hear somthing very funny from any one!! so go on and let me laugh!!!

2006-08-15 14:35:16 · 9 answers · asked by Rolando Jr. E 2

2006-08-15 14:33:55 · 5 answers · asked by phillipblinkho@btinternet.com 1

2006-08-15 14:29:11 · 34 answers · asked by dopeysaurus 5

they went in the jungle after 6 pm

2006-08-15 14:16:24 · 10 answers · asked by dopeysaurus 5

All the elephants jump out of the trees

2006-08-15 14:15:37 · 11 answers · asked by dopeysaurus 5

Go for the juggler

2006-08-15 13:57:31 · 17 answers · asked by dopeysaurus 5

what is the day after the day before the day
before tomorrow?

2006-08-15 13:50:56 · 50 answers · asked by Truly_Complexed 4

10 points for which makes me laugh the most!!

2006-08-15 13:41:13 · 10 answers · asked by indian 2

The one that makes me laugh the most gets best answer!

2006-08-15 13:18:04 · 10 answers · asked by one_destiny_123 2

Just got this email...


One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the
>traditional feast.
>
>Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick.
>
>
>
>She told my sister that she needed something from the store.
>
>When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed
>the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen,and inserted it into the turkey,
>and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the
>oven.
>
>When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the
>oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon
>hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.
>
>With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed,
>"Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this
>horrifying news, my sister started to cry.
>
>It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!
>
>Yep..................SHE'S BLONDE!
>

2006-08-15 13:12:28 · 17 answers · asked by xxxx 2

Johnny wanted to have sex with a girl in his office.....but she belonged to someone else...
One day Johnny got so frustrated that he went up to her and said I'll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you.



The girl said, "NO."

Johnny said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor; you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up."

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend.

She called her boyfriend and told him the story.

The boyfriend said, "Ask him for $200. Then pick up the money very fast.
He won't even be able to get his pants down."

She agreed and accepted the proposal.

Half an hour went by and the boyfriend was waiting for his girlfriend to call.

Finally after 45 minutes the boyfriend called and asked what happened.

She said, "The bastard used quarters!"

**Management lesson: Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!

2006-08-15 13:05:11 · 19 answers · asked by Sangy . 4

Im on fire
Im in a house
Nobody can help me because they dont know im here
Even right now at the very moment i am burning i bring joy to the world


WHO am i?

2006-08-15 13:03:50 · 14 answers · asked by syd j 2

HOW DO YOU PUT AN ELEPHANT INTO THE REFRIDGERATOR?
HOW DO YOU PUT AN GIRAFFE INTO THE REFRIDGERATOR?

2006-08-15 12:57:20 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."

2006-08-15 12:43:22 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
(men plz dont get offended)

2006-08-15 12:42:03 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-08-15 12:40:05 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man walks into a bar. He asks for a drink of water. The bar tender pulls out a gun and the gun goes off. The man says thank you and walks out satisfied. Why was he satisfied?

(P.S. it's not a water gun)

2006-08-15 12:35:03 · 18 answers · asked by birdbeach19 5