Hey! come on'! tell me the funniest joke you've ever heard!!?

Question

10 points for which makes me laugh the most!!

Answer 1

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny. The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"


A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.

Two blondes were recently observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Here is their dialogue:
Blonde One: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Blonde Two: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder! It’s starting to rain, and the top is down

Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards bring the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape. The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution. By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ."The blonde shouts, "fire!!"

Answer 2

This farmer was having trouble with his chickens. They weren't laying eggs. Another farmer offered to help by selling him a rooster. Brooster the Rooster. But he told him that he had to very careful with Brooster because he is extremely horny. So the farmer bought the rooster.
Soon all the chickens were laying lots of eggs. Soon Brooster had had sex with all the animals on the farm. The farmer would tell Brooster every day that if he didn't stop he would soon kill himself.
One day the farmer walked out. Brooster was laying on his back with his feet straight in the air. The farmer said Brooster I warned you. Looks like you finally kicked the bucket. Brooster opened one eye and looked at the farmer and said shut up......can't you see that buzzard is about to land.

Answer 3

a man walks into a bar and he bets the bartender 700$ dollars that he could piss in a glass ten feet away from him without a drop hitting the floor or anywhere else but the glass..the bartender takes the bet as he feels sure of himself...so the guy pisses all over the bar, the seats and even on the bartender...the bartender starts laughing histerrically...so the bartender asks for his money and still cannot stop laughing...the guy asks him why he's laughing and the bartender says " man i just got 700$ dollars from your stupid bet now cough it up!" the guy says to the bartender, "hang on a sec, I bet that guy 10,000$ that i could piss on you and make you laugh at the same time"

Answer 4

Two young men riding around town causing trouble. A cop pulls them over and the driver gets to mouthing off at the cop. The cop pulls him out of the car and just beats the total crap out of him. Suddenly, he yanks the passenger out of the car and beats the crap out of him too. The passenger yells " hey, what the hell did you hit me for" The cop says "I was just making your wish come true." The passenger says " what wish?" The cop says "If I let you two go, you wouldn't have gotten half way down the road before you said 'I wish that son of a ***** would have hit me"

Answer 5

A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to
go to the dentist.

"I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want any pain
killers because I'm in a
big hurry," the woman said.
"Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and
we'll be on our way."

The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a
courageous woman," he
said. "Which tooth is it?"

The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him
your tooth, dear."

Answer 6

What do the Amish do when they want to get kinky?


A: Two Mennonite

(do you get the play on words??)

Answer 7

face the nirror to see a monkey

Answer 8

haha that one guys blonde jokes were pretty funny

Answer 9

http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp

Please visit the above pages. I hope, it helps u.

Answer 10

what do you call a black man with a bike?
a thief