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Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

[Selected]: All categories Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

2006-07-19 17:32:36 · 12 answers · asked by its_me!!! 1

Can you solve one of the greatest puzzles of antiquity?
In greek mythology the sphinx was a monster who possesed
the head of a woman, the body of a lion and the wings of an eagle.
The sphinx gaurded the gates of the city of Thebes, challenging all
who would enter with this simple riddle:
================
The Question is:

what goes on four legs in the morning, on two legs at noon, and on
three legs at dusk "

2006-07-19 17:28:08 · 11 answers · asked by reddogcudda 3

http://www.pappywishbone.com/Redneck-Pictures/Redneck-Paris/

They have a crapload of other funny pictures too... BUT THIS ONE IS MY FAV!!

2006-07-19 17:25:42 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

Me?

2006-07-19 17:17:03 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his family's house: Their four children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house.
Proceeding into the entry he found an even bigger mess: A lamp had been knocked over. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she may be ill, or that something serious had happened....

2006-07-19 17:08:30 · 19 answers · asked by sistah2sista 1

2006-07-19 16:37:56 · 7 answers · asked by ₦âħí»€G 6

Mr. Smith wanted to become a teacher in the worst way, but the only job he could find was as an instructor at an all female college teaching sex education. His wife was a very jealous woman so Mr. Smith decided he would tell his wife that he would be teaching sailing at this college so that she would not get angry. He was very happy and for months all was well. As fate would have it, one day in the grocery store check out lane, Mrs. Smith overheard a group of girls standing in line behind her talking about college and their instructor Mr. Smith. The girls went on and on about how great this Mr. Smith was at teaching their class. The cashier handed Mrs. Smith her change and said, "Have a great day Mrs. Smith, and thank you, again." One of the girls in line heard the cashier, and asked Mrs. Smith if she was related to the Mr. Smith that was teaching at the college. Mrs. Smith replied, "Yes, he is my husband." Well that set off a torrent of accolades about how knowledgeable Mr. Smith was about the subject matter he was teaching, about how he got the whole class to discuss their fears about learning the subject. Well Mrs. Smith was taken back by what she heard from these girls and replied, "I don't know how you find him to be so gifted at teaching you this course. You know he only tried it twice in his life. The first time he tried it, he got sick, and the second time, his hat blew off and he just quit."

2006-07-19 16:32:05 · 8 answers · asked by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7

Two tigers were stalking through the jungles of Asia. Suddenly, the one to the rear reached out with his tongue, and licked the posterior of the tiger in front of him. The startled front tiger turned and said, "Cut it out." The rear tiger apologized, and they continued onward.

About five minutes later, it happened again. The front tiger turned, growling, "I said stop it." The rear tiger again apologized, and they continued.

Another five minutes passed, and again the front tiger felt the unwanted tongue. The front tiger turned, giving the rear tiger a ferocious glare, angrily hissing, "What is it with you?"

The rear tiger replied, "I'm sorry -- I really didn't mean to offend you. But I just ate a lawyer and I'm trying to get the taste out of my mouth!"

2006-07-19 16:20:00 · 23 answers · asked by iamigloo 6

Willys cynical thought for the day;

Do you ever notice that every time you find an answer, the freaking question changes?

The businesswoman, in town for an important meeting, checked into her room at the swank hotel and unpacked her bags.

Noticing that her best suit had been badly wrinkled during her flight, she telephoned the desk and asked the hotel's valet service to pick it up for pressing.

Almost immediately after she hung up the phone, a knock sounded at the door, and there stood an elderly Chinaman, waiting.

Impressed by the fast service, the career woman exclaimed, "My, you come lickety-split!"

No, ma'am," replied the elderly Chinaman. "Come to get laundry."

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-07-19 16:17:11 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous

what do blondes put behind their ears to attract men?
their knees

did you hear the 1 about the blonde who was trapped in a mall during a blackout?
she was stuck on the elevator for 4 hours

whats the definition of mass confusion?
a room full of blondes

why do blonde girls have bruises around their belly buttons?
because blonde guys are stupid to

a blonde was suffering from constipation, so her doctor prescribed suppositories. a week later she went back ro the doctor, still suffering the same problem. "have you been taking them regularly?" asked the doctor.
"what do you think ive been doing," replied the blonde. "shoving them up my butt?"

two blondes were walking along the railroad one morning after spending all night at a nightclub. "wow these stairs are killing me." said the first blonde. the second blonde groaned back. "the sairs dont bother me as much as the low handrail

whats the definition of a blonde german?
someone who thinks einstein is a glass of beer

2006-07-19 16:10:26 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

A. philippines
B. Malaysia
C. Korea
D. America
E. Taiwan
F.Russia

2006-07-19 16:04:39 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous

note: i am not a blonde so i want the true story behind it.plz
and i couldnt find any other category to put this question in.

2006-07-19 15:55:26 · 16 answers · asked by its me 1

driving down a road a guy flashes his lights at a cute blonde he sees in the next lane and signals for her to pull over he gets out of the car goes over to the window and unzips his trousers the blonde rolls her eyes and says "wow, this is my 4th breathalyzer test in a week

2 blondes are walking through the woods. 1 looks down and says, "hey, look at the deer tracks." the other blonde takes a closer look and scoffs, "those arent deer tracks, silly! theyre to big! those are definitly moose tracks." the two blondes argue back and forth about which animals tracks they are.
eventually they are hit by a train

a blonde bought a book at the local bookstore called flight to france. she got back home and was told it was volume four of the encyclopedia

why does a blonde keep a coathanger in the back seat of her car?
in case she locks her keys in the car

why do blondes like lightning?
thry think someone is taking their picture

why do blondes hat M&Ms?
they take to long to peel

2006-07-19 15:50:21 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

okay, so you walk straight up to a y intersection. one of the path leads to a pot of gold, and the other path leads to death. you do not know which path leads to where.there are two people standing there. they are both twins. one tells the truth if you ask them a question, and the other one will lie. you only have one question you can ask them. what would you ask? and why?

2006-07-19 15:37:46 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous

A man walked in to a pub with a giraffe and they got absolutely hammered! The giraffe got of the bar stool and fell over! As the man went to leave the pub, the barman said to him, "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' there.." And the man turned to him, tutted and said, "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe!"

2006-07-19 15:34:50 · 9 answers · asked by sistah2sista 1

whats the first thing a blonde does when she wakes up?
she goes home

what happened to the blonde who took an IQ test?
the results were negative

a blonde started her first day at her new high school with a pair of headphones on. her teacher, relizing how difficult it was starting a new school, did not want to embarrass the girl so said nothing. the next day, and the next day again, the blonde continued to wear the headphones. finally, the teacher asked her to take the headphones off. she refused. he let the issue rest for a while, but as another week went on and she still wore them he called her aside after class and demanded that she remove them. she looked at him sullenly and said nothing. exasperated, he ripped them off, whereupon she immediatly fell to the floor, dead. after the ambulance had taken her body away, he picked up the headphones to see what she had been listening to. he put them on and heard, "breathe in... breathe out... breath in.... breath out."

2006-07-19 15:32:48 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-19 15:28:32 · 8 answers · asked by megavolnutt99 2

available from the pet shop and especially the bakers! there is a wide selection next to the iced fingers! erm ok Q. whats ya favorite cake???

2006-07-19 15:26:16 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

My husband was coming down the stairs and he slipped and caught his arm on the wooden hand rail. He slipped down about 7 stairs and I heard him falling and going bump, bump, bump on the steps. When he got to the bottom, he just layed in the floor and kept saying "ohhh, ohhh, ohhh". When I went to check on him, I could not stop laughing. I knew he wasn't hurt, but it was so funny to see him laying flat on his back moaning.

I need a really good laugh, so any story that's funny to you, please share.

2006-07-19 15:21:56 · 15 answers · asked by pamela_d_99 5

2006-07-19 15:21:56 · 24 answers · asked by littleone60014 2

2006-07-19 15:16:35 · 8 answers · asked by MUNCHiES 2

Another IQ question to test......

What things that your left hand can pick it up?
Then your right hand cannot pick it up??

2006-07-19 15:13:42 · 11 answers · asked by Feb-Gal 2

a drummer

what does it mean when a drummer is drooling out of both sides of his mouth?
the stage is level

whats long and hard on a drummer?
the third grade

2006-07-19 15:13:02 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous

"I'm so ugly I could stain stainless steel."

You got something better? Go for it.

"I'm so ugly I ....

2006-07-19 15:11:24 · 14 answers · asked by Doc Watson 7

white+_= ________________________________________

who ever gives me the right one wins

2006-07-19 15:10:44 · 21 answers · asked by Vball Babe 3

i dont know. its never happened

2006-07-19 15:01:28 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous



Chuck says, "copy and re-post, or else."

2006-07-19 14:53:45 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

yo momma jokes, knock knock jokes anything!

2006-07-19 14:39:23 · 5 answers · asked by demitrius2011 1

fedest.com, questions and answers