Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

2006-07-05 12:02:00 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

Whats really long has a mouth and 4 eyes? first one to get it gets the ten

2006-07-05 11:59:19 · 6 answers · asked by captspankey 4

try this:
rapidly say "one smart fella, he felt smart.
two smart fellas, they felt smart.
three smart fellas, they felt smart....

and so on. hope everyone gets it.

2006-07-05 11:48:27 · 6 answers · asked by scratchwhiplash 5

what thrones a great king, and causes his fall;
what starts a great garden, and kills all within;

Im looking for a certain answer, first one gets the points

2006-07-05 11:48:16 · 9 answers · asked by Jake B. 2

All of these are some kind of food:
1)hcikcne
2)ktaes
3)acmaorin
4)oohtgd
5)aslgaan
6)aensb
7)zzaip
8)ccriema
9)cire
10)ooptta

2006-07-05 11:46:39 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

I mean besides cry themselves to sleep at night.

2006-07-05 11:45:05 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous

10 points to whomever makes me laugh the hardest.

2006-07-05 11:23:07 · 12 answers · asked by Julie6962 5

2006-07-05 11:23:00 · 12 answers · asked by davidqdawson_s 1

If I ordered a 'Snow White' in a cocktail bar, would I expect Seven-Up in Cider ...........

2006-07-05 11:18:55 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous

stays in a corner but can travel the world

2006-07-05 11:13:51 · 27 answers · asked by katy g 2

and lined all the girls up outside in the street to arrest them. While they were waiting to be charged, one of the girl's granny walked past and asked her what she was doing standing around in the street.
"Oh" she replied, very embarrassed ..."They are giving away free oranges and we are just waiting to collect ours!"
"Well, in that case" replied the old granny .."I'll wait with you and get some too"
At that moment, a police officer walked by, spotted the old girl in the queue and asked her .....
"Hey granny .... you're a bit old for this sort of thing ... how do you manage it??"
"Oh simple" she replied ..... "I just pop my teeth out and suck 'em dry" .........

( anyone laughing here ? ) ......... :-)

2006-07-05 11:11:03 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

A black dog stands in the middle of an intersection in a town painted black. None of the street lights are working due to a power failure caused by a local storm. A car with two broken headlights drives towards the dog but turns in time to avoid hitting him. How could the driver have seen the dog in time?

2006-07-05 11:10:37 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous

is a rebel

2006-07-05 11:02:29 · 1 answers · asked by MEGAN THE PLAYFUL SPIRIT 3

01010100 01101000 01101111 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100001 01100100 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101111 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00101110

2006-07-05 10:50:47 · 4 answers · asked by Puppy Zwolle 7

49 74 20 69 73 20 61 6c 6c 20 61 62 72 61 63 61 64 61 62 72 61 20 74 6f 20 6d 65 2e

2006-07-05 10:49:10 · 5 answers · asked by Puppy Zwolle 7

I just want some advance warning so I can take some precautions.

2006-07-05 10:48:47 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous

I'm sure there is some
dandy, spiffy dude
online that can
not only decypher
the message but also
knows a spiffy rebate as
not only is this riddle
off the wall difficult it also
wants to be funny.

2006-07-05 10:44:53 · 11 answers · asked by Puppy Zwolle 7

I think about this and it is like trying to conceptualize infinity. Help me.

2006-07-05 10:41:57 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous

A guy is ordering up shot after shot of booze at
a bar, when a woman strikes up a conversation...

She: What are you trying to forget?

He: Well, my divorce just became final. My wife
left me because I'm into kinky, kinky sex.

She: What a coincidence, my husband just left me
for the same reason. I'm also into kinky sex,
and my apartment's about three blocks from here.
Why don't you come on by and we'll have some fun?

And off they went. She excused herself, saying
she would be back in about ten minutes. When she
came out of her bedroom, she was wearing black
vinyl crotchless panties, a studded collar,
clothespins on her breasts, and she was carrying
a seven foot bullwhip.

So he says, "Excuse me, I'll need ten minutes
too."

"Do you need to slip into something more
comfortable?"

"No, while you were changing, I screwed your
dog!"

2006-07-05 10:24:27 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-05 10:22:56 · 43 answers · asked by dishwasher67 6

so i have nothing better to do then tell lame jokes... heres another one

A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions.

"Sure," GOD says, "Go right ahead".

"OK," the man says. "Why did you make women so pretty?"

GOD says, "So you would like them."

"OK," the guy says. "But how come you made them so beautiful?"

"So you would LOVE them", GOD replies.

The man ponders a moment and then asks, "But why did you make them such airheads?"

GOD says, "So they would love you!"

2006-07-05 10:18:37 · 12 answers · asked by tybardy 4

Read my sad story at
http://ThatsComedy.com/lostbride.htm

Please advise.

2006-07-05 10:11:10 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-05 10:07:16 · 12 answers · asked by Tuxman 1

i almost got arrested on Panama City Beach Fla. yesterday for wearing a thong bathing suit. I told the officer, "I swear sir, I didn't know that there was a front and a back to these things."

2006-07-05 10:00:48 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-05 09:58:34 · 14 answers · asked by ertodd@sbcglobal.net 1

4x8
WCSN HUPT ORR? IRE* SES* TNI* HTD* EUE*

2006-07-05 09:49:33 · 5 answers · asked by big_dave_x 4

2006-07-05 09:46:13 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous

2006-07-05 09:44:05 · 4 answers · asked by Missing Miami 1

Thelma: "Do you and your husband have mutual climax?"

Margarett: "No, I think we use State Farm."

2006-07-05 09:42:50 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

A white man is visiting Jamaica for the first time. He goes into a public restroom and begins peeing at the urinal.

A Jamaican man then comes along and begins using the urinal next to him,

The white guy casually takes a peek over at the Jamaican guys package...he sees the two letters "WE" tattoed on his penis.

So, he says, "I see you have your girlfriend's name "Wendy" tatooed on your penis. My girfriends name is Wendy too!

The Jamaican says. 'No man, my girlfriends name is not Wendy! My tatto says - Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day!"

2006-07-05 09:40:46 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous