Jokes & Riddles - July 2006

2006-07-15 02:29:09 · 6 answers · asked by ccrraazzyy 1

2006-07-15 02:25:17 · 12 answers · asked by ccrraazzyy 1

2006-07-15 02:24:18 · 16 answers · asked by ccrraazzyy 1

I have 3 eyes
when the red eye opens every thing i see freezes
what am i ???

2006-07-15 02:22:05 · 11 answers · asked by thunder emperor 1

2006-07-15 02:21:48 · 10 answers · asked by Darkstar 1

2006-07-15 02:17:43 · 26 answers · asked by Darkstar 1

I had to repost this question...too many people think the "****" are curse words...but they are "unknown" words...part of the riddle.

What do "As two couples are visiting ******* *****, tensions between one wife (Marilyn Monroe) and her husband reach the level of murder"
" the gambler"
"'pack o rats"
"you may see george w bush, michael jackson, and jack the ripper here"
, miss america and miss canada meet here regularly,
a ****with a ****,<----this might be a room with a view

this next line I assume is Ontario
and a place to stand, a place to grow, have in common?

Thanks Folks

2006-07-15 01:58:48 · 7 answers · asked by WyattEarp 7

Note to the 'ethnic' Moms; Laughter is much better for everybody than Chicken Soup!
At least that's what the chickens want us to believe!
Bwaaahahahahaha

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-07-15 01:56:06 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

im bored and i need some cheering up. Has anyone got any good jokes??? :)

2006-07-15 01:41:39 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous

a guy from a village had to go to the city to bring somefood items for his family, his father unable to go that day being sick.
"be careful with these city folks, they'll rip you off...so whatever they say reduce their prices by half" advised the father
so the guy went to the city market and went to the vegetables area...
"how much for this?" asking cautiously
"100 silvers" said the shop owner
"what? you think I'm stupid? 50 only"
"now come on...ok 80"
"no...40"
"60"
"no...30"
"ok 40 and that's it"
"no...20"
at that the shop owner got pissed off and shouts out "*** you!"
"no...hand job"

2006-07-15 01:32:26 · 8 answers · asked by 【ツ】ρεαcε! 5

what ever you do...............DON'T let any stranger's in tonite! ANY coments before I go to bed? Good-nite everyone! It was fun while it lasted,(sweet dreams)

2006-07-15 01:12:24 · 10 answers · asked by ghostguff 2

my adress is tedreka57@yahoo.com

but i want only answers from girls...

2006-07-15 00:58:53 · 5 answers · asked by POWER-FULL 2

A man walks down the street. He sees 3 men, 4 women, 15 children, 24 cats, 19 pots, 14 mice in each pot. how many are there?

2006-07-15 00:55:53 · 35 answers · asked by supersonic_dragonrider 1

Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal:
"Change your course ten degrees east."
The light signals back: "Change yours, ten degres west."
Angry, the captain sends: "I'm a Navy captain! Change your course, sir!"
"I'm a seaman, second class," comes the reply. "Change your course, sir."
Now the captain is furious. "I'm a battleship! I'm not changing course!"
There's one last reply. "I'm a lighthouse. Your call."

2006-07-15 00:52:28 · 18 answers · asked by simply_boring 4

Willys cynical thought for the day;

I know I'm bad. But at least I'm freaking good at it!

In October of 1955 I was 1 year old so my comments were "Waaaa" (I want some feeding) & "Waaaaa" (the stuff ya fed me just made an exit) LMFAOOO

"I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20."

"Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before $2000 will only buy a used one."

"If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous."

"Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?"

"If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store."

"When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage."

"Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls."

"I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more. Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying 'damn' in 'Gone With The Wind,' it seems every new movie has either 'hell' or 'damn' in it."

"I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas”

"Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the president."

"I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now."

"It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet."

"It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work."

"Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more; those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat."

"I'm just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business."

"Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress."

"The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on."

"There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel."

"No one can afford to be sick any more; $35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood."

"If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it."

Know friends who would get a kick out of these? Pass it on!

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-07-15 00:51:04 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous

OOP"S there goes another_______?

2006-07-15 00:24:53 · 15 answers · asked by ghostguff 2

2006-07-15 00:11:22 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous

note a person's name

2006-07-15 00:01:07 · 13 answers · asked by Farad 2

who's there?

2006-07-15 00:00:43 · 28 answers · asked by girlazz 2

Laughter is indeed the best medicine. I'm looking for the most hilarious jokes from all over the world. Thanks!

2006-07-14 23:52:19 · 11 answers · asked by metta1948 1

What do you all think of my new look?

2006-07-14 23:41:24 · 8 answers · asked by ghostguff 2

Just think............ then answer!!!!!

2006-07-14 23:20:12 · 14 answers · asked by lizard king 1

^_^

2006-07-14 23:19:21 · 2 answers · asked by kevin! 5

ok say silk 5 times

silk silk silk silk silk













little more



















































































what do cows drink?

scroll down



































































































































did u say milk?



scroll down
silk

silk

silk

2006-07-14 23:18:08 · 8 answers · asked by Brad 2

Isaac falls asleep on a beach for several hours and gets sunburned. His legs are the worst and they are already starting to blister. In agony he goes to the local hospital and is immediately admitted after being diagnosed with 2nd degree burns.
After checking doctor tells the nurse, This man needs continuous intravenous feeding with saline and electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse is astonished by this and says, doctor what good will Viagra do him?
It'll keep the sheets off his legs, replied the doctor.

2006-07-14 23:11:52 · 34 answers · asked by Pd 6

2006-07-14 22:53:55 · 29 answers · asked by opossumd 4

I'll start it off:

Man who live in glass house, get dressed in basement.

2006-07-14 22:45:04 · 12 answers · asked by Truebador 3

2006-07-14 22:13:48 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous

Is it a ...

1 - small fridge used to keep peanuts cold in hotel rooms
or a...
2 - device producing incessant hum designed to drive hotel occupants to drink.

2006-07-14 22:13:38 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous

The Hundred Years War ended when the English hit upon a brilliant new way of occupying France. They would stop fighting, wait five hundred years, and then buy lots of convered farmhouses in the Dordogne.

2006-07-14 22:10:45 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous